this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2025
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[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Oh fuck I mean I would love this to be real but this is going to be abused so much in the next couple years. Supermarket shelves and social media posts will fucking be filled with drinks and pills containing (probably nonviable forms) these bacteria by the loads. Good luck everyone.

Also most of us already have enough microplastic embedded in our brains to last a lifetime.

[–] matlag@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 days ago (3 children)

And a few years later the bacteria is found to cause even worse diseases...

[–] kadup@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I know it's a joke, but that's almost certainly not going to be the case. Pathogenic bacteria have fundamentally different metabolism and genes.

What is more likely is either: ecological imbalance or the bacteria only metabolises the harmful chemicals under extreme deprivation of other carbon sources, which is never realistic, so they never do

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Well I mean if people throw off their gut microbiome by overloading on this bacteria, it might still be harmful in that way. It does not need to be pathogenic in that sense.

[–] kadup@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

Its actually hard to survive the human gut

But it is neutralized by microplastics...

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

But before that they will discover some nutrients which are very beneficial for this bacteria so people will also consume that by the loads.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip 47 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

As long as it doesn't hurt the PFAS industry profit margins.

/s

[–] filcuk@lemmy.zip 16 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

It will quadruple revenue - deregulation and PFAS for everyone!
Hope you can afford regular sponge bacteria cleansing baths, or you get them super-cancers real quick.

[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I hate that we're living in the stellaris timeline

[–] H4CK3RN4M3D4N63R570RM@lemmy.ca 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It would suck to live in any of the empires I've created.

[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

We dont deserve mandatory pampering

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip 4 points 6 days ago

It's the way the world was meant to be monetised!

[–] thelivefive@startrek.website 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The fact that this /s was even slightly needed :(

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[–] Rhaxapopouetl@ttrpg.network 14 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Imagine talking about a bacteria that could save lives and never naming it! For those who want to know, it's in the nature article: E.coli and pseudomonas are the ones cited in the source document, widely spread bacteria already in your gut. Sooooo...

[–] DacoTaco@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Soooo... Regular gut biome already does this? Or are they talking about the e.coli that gives you the shits and food poisoning? Cause if its the latter, yes it will clean you quickly... Together will all liquids in your digestive system

[–] midtsveen@lemmy.wtf 2 points 5 days ago

You saved me a click!

[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

If they're already in my gut, does that mean I have less forever chemicals in me than otherwise?

[–] MalReynolds@slrpnk.net 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Awesome, nature finds a way. Wonder how common this removal is with other things, also, engineering one for nanoplastic removal would be a huge win!

[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 18 points 6 days ago (2 children)

There has been found a fungus that evolved to consume microplastics already! https://lamycosphere.com/en-int/blogs/the-futur-is-fungi/plastikfressende-pilze-sind-eine-naturliche-losung-fur-die-umweltverschmutzungskrise?srsltid=AfmBOopXsq1C4V3QswKk2bVz1-Y9NNbbDa5VhLclmQyVl-LkNqrijkvl

And a black one that consumes radiation! They’re working on a way to use that as a self healing radiation shielding in space! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radiotrophic_fungus

[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Just keep in mind how close our flesh is to plastic, chemically speaking. Anything that is really good at breaking down hydrocarbons may find us pretty tasty too.

Estimations indicate that approximately a 21 cm thick layer could significantly deflect the annual amount of radiation received on Mars’ surface.

The pefapocalyps is coming. Why does fluor have to be such a clingy sensitive bitch clinging to cheats-with-anyone carbon? Now carbon is in a toxic relationship :(

[–] InternetRando@lemmy.myserv.one 12 points 6 days ago

That looks like a mitochondria, which is the powerhouse of the cell.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 2 points 6 days ago

Everything lasts forever until it doesn't.

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