Calamari? You mean like clown fish eggs?
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A friend of mine got in a fight with his wife recently about the name of a bar that's long gone.
He and I had worked in the neighborhood and had been to the bar a dozen times and had been to the other bars probably hundreds of times. He had met his wife years later and had maybe visited the bar a couple of times before it disappeared.
His brain had played musical chairs with the bar name on the block. She was right. I had a rather strong distaste for this bar and generally refused to go to it, so I remembered it clearly.
He had intimate details of the lighting, the unusual concrete bar, the music, the seating, the people we had gone there with. But the names were transposed. He had been looking up tax records and property names trying to prove her wrong.
So first, he got in trouble for not believing her, then he got in trouble for trying to prove her wrong, then he got in trouble again for calling in a lifeline.
Meat-based data storage is weird AF.
What year is this, why would they continue arguing instead of just taking out a phone and looking it up?
If I had to guess, she's curious to see how big of a hole he's going to dig himself into.
There have been times in the last, I dunno, 2 decades? with my friends and I have been having a debate or disagreement on something, at which point one of us usually would stop, pull out their phone, and say something like "why are we even arguing, I have the sum of human knowledge in my pocket." It's because we're old and grew up before the Internet was more than DARPA NET or AOL. These kids have no excuse lol
What is this, a Seinfeld episode?
Jerry: "How'd the date go last night?"
Elaine: "Ugh, total bust! We spent the whole time arguing about calamari!"
Jerry: "Arguing about calamari? Like fried squid?"
Elaine gestures there you go
George: "It's deep fried, what's not to like?"
Elaine: "He doesn't even know what it is!"
Jerry: "Never had calamari? What a sad life..."
Kramer enters. Applause.
Elaine: "Kramer. What's calamari?"
Kramer: "Disgusting. That's what it is."
Jerry: "We're not talking about the same calamari here."
Kramer: "It's like chewing on rubber bands!"
Jerry: "You're not still going to Bosco's are you?"
Kramer: "I like Bosco."
George: "Didn't the health board shut them down?"
Kramer: "That's how you know it's authentic."
Elaine: "Can we get back to my problem, please?"
Jerry: "I'll tell you what, let's all go out. Elaine, you can bring you can bring your boyfriend. I'll show you all what calamari is supposed to taste like."
Elaine: "Well, do the have caviar?"
Jerry: "Caviar? What am I made of money? Why caviar?"
Elaine: "That's what he thinks calamari is!"
George: "Did you correct him?"
Elaine: "Yes, George, I corrected him. I corrected him for 45 minutes!"
Kramer: "Well why didn't you just order the calamari and show him?"
Elaine: "We were at a coffee shop."
Kramer: "Oh, they don't serve calamari at coffee shops."
Elaine: "...I know. I didn't expect to have to defend the reality of what calamari is when we made the date."
George: "Didn't the health board shut them down?"
Kramer: "That's how you know it's authentic."
I've had this conversation
With the health board even.
I can hear them. This is great
Were you a writer for the show, what the fuck, this is so accurate
It's shockingly easy. There was a whole reddit subreddit dedicated to inventing new Seinfeld scripts
I've only ever seen a couple of episodes and I was shocked at how well this script fit what I've seen.
I’ve only ever seen a few episodes but I don’t know how accurate this is at all.
I've only seen clips of it on YouTube and this also didn't make me laugh so I'd say it's accurate.
Damn. Bravo!
An ex and I were on a bus trip to a city about an hour away from where we lived while we taught English in Korea. The subject of there being a "subway" in said city came up randomly. She said she thought she had seen one the last time she was there. I had been there more times than she had and said there was no subway. She doubled down. No, she was quite sure she had seen one near the university. I doubled down, I've been there quite a few times. There's no way they have a subway. It's not even big enough for one! It got pretty heated. This went on for some time. Feelings were hurt.
She was talking about the sandwich restaurant, and I was talking about underground trains. We were both right.
Maybe man's Estonian. Caviar in Estonian is "kalamari" which means fishberry
"Fishberry" what the fuck, but also astoundingly correct
Dawn, the plot thickens! Shows that we shouldn't be so quick to judge.
Having said that, if I was having this conversation in a second language, I wouldn't be so intransigent about it.
Holy shit, imagine how frustrating it would be to be that guy is this was the case. Especially if one of the bystanders spoke up.
I’d like to hope they could all have a good laugh about it in the end at least.
Seen something like this before. Guy was testing his date to see if she would correct him and she would fail if she did.
That's.... completely mental.
Sounds like the guy was doing them a favor helping them dodge a bullet.
I remember reading Ron DeSantis (governor of Florida) said he did this on dates. He would say Thigh Food for Thai food. If they corrected him he wouldn't date them again.
He's married now and I wonder if his wife ever offers to pick up Thigh food for dinner.
Honestly (if I played stupid games like this, which I do not), I'd be more likely to date them again if they correct me. I want someone who will tell me if I mispronounce a word I've only read, or have a booger, or smell bad, etc. When it happens organically I always appreciate it unless they're a dick about it.
Reminds me of that 4chan post where anon gets stopped by a stranger who tries to explain that Aluminum is the best metal. Anon tries to stay calm and explain the iron is the best metal, but the guy just kept going off about Aluminum and started talking about rust and ruined Anon's whole day.
The concept of "best metal" without specifying for which purpose is pretty ridiculous, so to me the anon in your story is equally guilty of causing his own bad day.
Well, no.
The best metal is obviously bismuth:
This is the most fabulous metal