sed s/demon/daemon/g
The install is complete.
this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2025
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When was the last time you saw a possessed Linux system? Donβt worry Iβll wait
my Linux has dæmons all over it
The good dæmons compete with pathogenic bad dæmons, and are essential for the computer's health.
All my Linux systems are possessed by daemons
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The demon is Bill Gates fueled with the tormented souls of Microsoft employees that just got layed off. The solution is to print out a few Arch wiki pages and a usb stick (with Arch) and say "the power of Torvalds compels you" until the PC is once again pure. Than keep your PC pure by avoiding absolutely proprietary software and always praying to Tux for more features.
Ok, but imaging playing one of the new Doom games with that set up:
Action starts to get intense.
The tension, and temperature rises.
Suddenly, a whisper at the back of your mind "hail satan hail satan hail satan"
As more enemies appear, and the temperature rises, it becomes louder, pulsing in your ears. Somehow a whisper that is now shouting.
As you cleanse the demonic filth, the chanting subsides and stops, bringing a measure of peace, at least for the moment.
You can probably configure the demon in Linux
demonctl stop hellfire
demonctl disable hellfire
demonctl enable regular-fire
demonctl start regular-fire
demonctl set --force body-type=human horns=2 eyes=2 tongue=forked skin=red
demonctl add --object electric-guitar
demonctl speak "play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your souls"
/. tribute.sh
Think it's ./tribute.sh iirc
Edit: removed the space between ./ and tribute.sh
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How do I daemonize my demon?
Stupid Linux Guy doesn't realize that by installing Linux, you install even more daemons on your machine!
Just because they're daemons doesn't mean they're bad or malicious. Assuming they are is racist.
Install FreeBSD
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Linux doesn't have this? Man, I guess I'll stick with windows. That shit is metal AF.
I think HellOS comes with demonic teeth drivers right out of the box.
Demons prefer FreeBSD
systemd keeps daemons under control, the computer will be fine with Linux.
This is like 99% of Lemmy users.
"How do I fix this issue with my computer?"
"Have you heard of our lord and savior FOSS?"
would actually solve 90% of problems.
With Linux:
I don't have forced updates.
I do have driver compile error when I update the kernel.
I don't have spyware recording my screen.
I don't have Discord record my screen when I want it to, either.
I don't have ads for games in my launcher.
I don't have HDR for games in my Steam library.
Etc.
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Literally saw this on Mastodon yesterday.
"How come emailing a document to myself is still the easiest way to send something to another device?"
"Have you tried using Linux?"
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I just pictured someone throwing pages from the manual on it going "THE POWER OF LINUS COMPELS YOU!" Yeah. I'll see myself out.
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TempleOS
Did you see the templeOS rice the other day on unixporn?
Dude had fuckin nix on there
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I'm inclined to believe that's normal Windows behavior at this point...
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$ sudo systemd-inhibit lucifer
Install TempleOS to sanctify your computer and rid it of demons once and for all.
Hence freebsd was born.
Nothing wrong with just suggesting Linux tho. And the satan part is obviously just a nice goodie of your PC.
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Sounds like a standard windows 11 install to me?
Wellβ¦ the satanists Iβve met definitely seemed like a Linux crowd, so itβs not the worst suggestion prior to sacrificing a goat or something of that nature.
Demon: What the fuck, how to I install Chrome, what the heck is a tar gz? Fuck this I'm out
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