I used to joke that if you named a crime, I could name a family member.
They'd probably start recommending criminal defense attorneys.
this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2025
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you named a crime, I could name a family member.
Rape?
They'd probably start recommending criminal defense attorneys.
LMAO!
Third oldest Cousin from my second oldest aunt: Sexual assault of a minor
Technically rape, as she was too young to consent, and he was way to old to not know better.
Pretty much every family has one... I helped my grandmother do our family geneology. We got as far back as 4 brothers from Germany who were forced to leave England and come to the US because one of them had rape accusations.
Before that, all the records were in German so that's as far as we got. Johann Braunwart, died Duchess County, New York, 1620.
Thats helpful of them. Never shit on good criminal legal advice
Ya never know, might need it someday. Everybody's a criminal
Pretty sure it would depend on the crime. Speeding slightly over the limit or jaywalking would be basically a no reaction crime because everyone does it.
Theft? Depends on what I stole and from who. A few coins go missing fromy brothers room and my parents probably aren't gonna care as much if I tell them later ( which I never tell them ), so long as it's not a significant amount of money. My dad would also have no leg to stand on since there have been plenty of times he's taken stuff from our rooms without asking ( like the time he took some snacks I had stashed in my tech junk drawer in my dresser maybe a year or two ago, which I'm still salty about ).
Stealing from a store? They'd be shocked and I would definitely be punished. As to what the punishment, no clue, besides definitely returning whatever I stole to start.
Murdering someone? More than likely gonna be reported to the cops and locked away.
Piracy? Don't get caught. They have received emails about me doing it a long time ago and just don't want us to lose our service.
Tax or other kind of financial fraud? My dad wouldn't approve at all and might report me if he ever figured out I was in on some type of financial fraud because he doesn't want to get screwed over by association of being my father. No clue how my mom would react, but I don't imagine she'd be thrilled about it either.
Illegal things like CSAM, beastiality, etcetera? Ain't no way I wouldn't be put in some sort of psych ward or something of the sort for such sick and dastardly material. If not straight up sent to prison because the feds get to me in this hypothetical before they find out. There's definitely a chance I wouldn't be part of the family if this ever happened, which I hope it never does and that if I have a midlife crisis that it's just me buying stupid things instead. Especially since I know someone who got caught during his midlife crisis flirting online with a "minor" ( some form of either fed or law enforcement honeypot account ).
Mine is similar except the theft part. Stealing from a local store I'd be a little pissed at my kid, but from Amazon or another company that reports BILLIONS in PROFIT? Nah, fuck them, just don't get caught.
As for the murder, I'd help hide the body and then need a full detailed reason why. Sometimes it's not the murder, but why. I trust my kid enough to not do it stupidly or randomly, there's be a reason. SA? bullying? Abuse? I'd side with my kid first 100%.
We saw the Malcolm in the middle episode where Craig called and said Malcolm threw eggs at his house and Lois went apeshit on Malcolm without even asking him. It was 100% a lie to get Malcolm to come over and help setup a new entertainment center. I paused it right then and told my kid if anyone ever called me with some shit like that, I'd pretty much call them a liar until I got his side of the story, no question.
Very much dependent on the crime. If it crosses puritanical, compulsive heteronormative shit, they'd call for corporal punishment. If it's something they've ever done, it's NBD. Their moral framework is "whatever my bigoted pastor and Trump tell me".
Attack the Capitol and kill a cop in an act of sedition: they sleep.
Drive a teenager to a woman-friendly state to get an abortion: real shit.
Sorry to hear that. That must be rough.
It would depend on the size of the crime. If it were harmless to others like doing illegal drugs, they'd disapprove but they probably wouldn't turn me in. If I killed someone, they'd probably turn me in.
Australian, so it runs in our family.
My father in law, uncle, other uncle, and cousin are all retired cops. So... uh... crime wouldn't go over super well. Though I imagine it would depend on the nature of the crime.
When I did (disclaimer: It was long enough ago to be legally relevant) sail the seven seas, my mom wasnt stoked on it and repeatedly mentioned "if you get caught it's on you" yet still participated in watching said content and requested media.
Lol
Growing up my brothers were arrested so many times I stopped counting.
What are my families view on crime?
See above and there is a reason I cut them out of my life.
Well, my parents are dead, but my kids would scold me.
But obviously it depends on the crime:
- 33 mph in a 30 mile an hour zone? My kids would scold me, my wife wouldn't care.
- Smoking a joint? My kids wouldn't know, my wife wouldn't care.
- Going on a killing spree with a machete? They'd report the shit out of me, and quite right too.
I'm inclined to think they wouldn't report me, but they would be utterly disappointed if it's a serious crime.
Putting homicide and drugs on the same level seems pretty weird.
Their worldview btw, not mine.
Its a remnant of British Colonialism.
"Drugs = Bad" is deeply engrained into Chinese culture (We are Chinese-American). Actually this is the case in many Asian cultures, including South Korea, Japan, and various Southeast Asian countries. If I accidentally killed someone in a bar fight, its viewed less as bad as if I were a drug addict, in terms of "losing face". That's how seriously they react to the idea of (non-medicinal) drug use.
Edit: And speaking of bars, its kinda funny how alcohol is semi-okay and encouraged when adults go to restaurants. I mean, isn't alcohol a drug? Its strange where the lines are drawn.
US is ruled by the pedos and police protects them, not the victims
But the normie fears of drugs jaja
They actually put drugs above/ as worse than homicide as long as the murdered person is not "innocent"
All depends on the crime, doesn't it? I'm sure my mom and sister both speed on the regular. There are "crimes" and then there are CRIMES.
The more victimless the crime (pirating from Blizzard, jaywalking, etc.), the less they'd care. My mom always told me "as long as you ain't hurting anybody, what's the problem?" and I've taken that to heart. I'm also a very (?) religious person (in the real sense, not in the "American megacorp disguised as a church" way) and I care about God's judgment... trust me, nobody is harder on me when it comes to doing the right thing than myself. 🤷
Well my dad went to jail for dealing drugs when I was young. Still didn’t feel the need to share with him when I was doing illegal things though.