For the last few years, I’ve been feeling like my sister is better than me, at everything. It started in 2022 when she started high school. She is a band nerd and has went to state band three years in a row with almost zero help from my parents. She is also driven to be an academic scholar, And has maintained a 4.0 GPA for probably three years.
I on the other hand, was a retard who didn’t know what the hell they were doing. I was always in special education, At first, it was for social reasons, But since going into high school, is entirely about academics. My parents insist I need it because otherwise I’ll just flunk out of school. They nagged me 24/7 to get my work done, and constantly corrected it if it was wrong. In sixth grade, My parents constantly bragged about my 3.6 GPA, And saying how proud they were of me. I don’t understand why, because they did all the work for me. They also pushed me to taking anxiety medication, because apparently I was in my room and crying a lot. They claimed to see dramatic improvements, but really, I saw none. The anxiety wasn’t caused or treated by medication or the stress of school, But rather because I was being nagged more than I could handle.
I was in band too, but my mom was always nagging me and telling me I wasn’t good enough. She constantly glared at me, and forced me to do things exactly the way my teacher had told me. I felt like I could never do anything right. In the end, I ended up quitting band because I couldn’t take the constant pressure my mom was putting on me.
Since that time, my parents were just nag, nag, nag. If I got a 90% on an assignment, My parents would make me redo it to get 100%. If I flunked something, My parents would ask me who my special education teacher was, And forced me to email them to redo it and get all the help I could. My mom would constantly label me as a “spec ed” kid, and I felt so embarrassed. However, They never pressure, my sister, and she is better than I’ll ever be. She’s also 2.5 years younger than me, so it’s embarrassing to be seen as dumb as I am.
It’s not just school that my parents make me feel stupid in, but also in life. It took months to decide where I was going to college, because my parents insisted That I stay local at a technical school for kids in special education because They were worried about me going off on my own not being able to keep my grades up, And they didn’t believe I would be able to advocate for myself if I needed something. Ultimately, I ended up getting into a four year college, And my parents insisted I get disability services and also a single room because I apparently need as much support as I can get. I ended up getting a single room because my mom forced me to do it, But I have not applied to disability services, nor have I used any resources available to me. As an adult, I can make my own decisions. I have flourished as a college student, applying for jobs and getting interviews, speaking up when I need something, and making friends. My grades are fair, Not 4.0 GPA worthy, but fair.
However, I feel extremely embarrassed whenever I’m at home and my parents are talking to people about how well my sister is doing. They’re always talking about how she’s learning drive and that she’s a great driver. My dad told me this morning that she’ll be taking her drivers test and getting her license in a few weeks, where I have yet to drive on my own after getting my license because my parents don’t think I’m good enough. They also boast to me that she’s already got an interview and job set up despite having no proof of it and make me feel below her there even though I have had several interviews.
It’s the same with college, My parents were on my ass for months about making a decision with my life, yet with my sister, they let her do whatever she wants. She graduates high school in about seven months.
The only place my parents are supportive of me is in my writing and extracurricular activities. My parents tell me that I’m an amazing writer, yet don’t ever talk to me about my writing though, even when I ask for feedback. It felt like they didn’t believe in me. They told me they wouldn’t send me to college to become an author if they didn’t believe I was good enough, and that has stuck with me since I’ve heard it. It makes me feel like I really am a good writer and will make it far in the future.
Has anybody else experienced feeling less than their younger siblings?
