this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2025
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Funny

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[–] Tempus_Fugit@midwest.social 42 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I've played enough Dark Souls to recognize this weapon. It's the Flamberge. Not my favorite quality weapon, not the best strength or dex scaling. Still a cool greatsword.

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

That seems like an unwise way to hold that sword. "Ow, my shoulder!"

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The beef jerky never complains.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Well yeah but they also moan when hit.

[–] Mnemnosyne@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 weeks ago

Got a pauldron protecting the shoulder, gorget protecting the neck, helmet protecting head and ear. There's no possible harm that might come to you holding the sword that way.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 27 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Fuck I'd pick that in the blink of an eye

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

You know, that's how you end up with a cursed sword that does no damage and reduces your armor by 20%.

Good luck letting go of it once it's too late.

[–] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Doesn't matter ~~had sex~~

[–] Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 3 weeks ago

For real, I wouldn't even have a chance to take a fucking picture

[–] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I bought a fucking claymore once. It was as tall as I was and weighed a ton. Swinging it, even the correct way, was absolutely batshit for a 175 pound human. I have no idea what I was thinking.

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 22 points 3 weeks ago

You were thinking.

[–] hypna@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Modern replicas of many of these historical weapons are often twice as heavy as the real thing. A field Zweihander would have been somewhere around 5 lbs.

[–] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 weeks ago

Yep. Unless crafted in the correct way with the right metal, shape, etc., etc., it's a glorified piece of rebar.

I have a beautifully made hand-and-a-half sword that is very wieldable.

[–] ook@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 3 weeks ago

You thought about slaying your enemies, that's what.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What is this contraption it's leaning against? Feels like a trap.

[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's what I'm wondering. Everything about it screams "dumpster" but then why does it have those giant, trap-like appendages?

[–] Lumisal@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

Because it's a cybertruck

[–] thelsim@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

This has cursed written all over it.

[–] ExtremeUnicorn@feddit.org 3 points 3 weeks ago

I'm getting my Diablo 2 PTSD triggered by this.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 3 weeks ago

A zweihander?!

I can become...

GIANT DAD