Housing. This addiction is crippling me. I'm spending thousands on it every month.
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Following the news.
Between internet sites, twitch, podcasts, etc I spend hours a day just following the news.
Whatโs insidious about this for me is that following the news is a good thing. I feel Iโve found enough solid news sources that I can stay informed about whatโs happening in the world. When I donโt follow along with whatโs happening I feel anxious, like Iโm going to fall behind and then I will somehow get behind and not be able understand whatโs happening around me.
So while following the news in itself is not a bad thing, it has negative consequences in my life, mainly around time. It cuts into my time with my kids a bit. And it definitely cuts significantly into my time for reading books, which is probably my #1 hobby.
Iโve tried to reduce the time I spend on it all but it doesnโt usually work. So itโs a habit Iโm trying to kick but not really being successful at it.
I left the US 3 years ago
I've always been well informed - but I realized I've made my choices, and most of checking the news now is looking for confirmation. It's an anxiety behavior. It doesn't change what I'll do in any way - so why do I need to read it?
I generally don't condone AI use but this seems like a case where it may be beneficial. Is it possible to feed your news sources into a chat bot and have it generate a "daily feed" of headlines and summaries? If it works right it could save you a lot of time.
Cigarettes. Crack was easier to quit. Removing yourself from bad places and bad people doesn't help with cigarettes. They are on every street corner shop in every town.
I wish I had the willpower to stop wasting days in front of my PC and go out more, but it always feels impossible, no close friends, no car, live in a small town with an average age that's probably in the 50s. All I do is go to work and come home to sit in my room. I also hate talking to new people over voice chat (and it takes me some time to warn up to someone when only talking over text) so I don't do much socialising when sitting at home. I've been thinking of moving to a bigger city but that's a whole other can of worms and doesn't fix my ability to hold conversions past pleasantries
I feel for you and I hope you can figure out a way to work on it! Therapy and pushing myself to socialize even when I don't want to has helped me.
Food. Iโm a fat ass. :/
I've slowly dropped 100 pounds over the last 3 years (50 more to go) and I literally eat whatever I want. The secret is in moderation, which is the real problem with food. It is VERY easy to overeat. I live by 3 simple and easy rules:
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Stop all sugary drinks, or juices. As a doctor said to me: Don't get your calories from juice, eat the whole orange. And NEVER drink full sugar soda. Today, I drink Coke Zero Sugar (0 calories) when I'm in a fast food place, but other than that, it's only unsweetened Ice Tea, or my favorite beverage Ice Water. I have also been drinking those fruit flavored seltzer waters with 0 calories. My only real beverage indulgence is a single beer with dinner 3 or 4 nights a week. Cultivate a love for Ice Water.
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Eat only when you are hungry, and only until you aren't hungry any more. I have found that I really don't need a whole sandwich, I am satisfied after a half of a sandwich. I'm generally satisfied with a couple of small handfuls of chips, I don't need to eat the entire bag. It takes a period of close monitoring to reset your satisfaction levels, but once you do, you are living a new food lifestyle that feels normal. It now feels strange to eat an entire sandwich. Or have a favorite food binge until you are stuffed.
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Don't eat out of boredom, find another activity. This is a really important one. If you find yourself staring into the fridge for a snack, and having trouble deciding, you're not really hungry, you're eating out of boredom. My Dad quit smoking by picking up a Rubik's Cube whenever he got the urge, and it worked well because a big part of smoking are the hand-mouth habits that you develop. Quitters often say that those hand-mouth habits last long after the nicotine cravings have left.
Food shares that trait. Creating a late night mini-charcuterie tray, spreading cheese on a cracker, washing it down with a beer or wine, etc. are all hand-mouth activities that can become regular habits that help load in tons of useless calories just before bed.
I used the guitar as my distraction. I keep an acoustic next to my TV chair, and pick it up whenever I have a craving for food. It distracts me from my momentary craving, and I've advanced to an intermediate ability on the guitar.
Replacing one negative endorphin releasing activity with a positive endorphin activity is highly effective at changing habitual behavior. Exchange a bad habit for a good one. Learn a language, write a book, play a game, play with a pet, lift weights, do a Rubik's Cube, etc. whatever works for you.
Losing weight always requires a lifestyle change, and most people choose a temporary strict diet to do it, but it never works. The lifestyle change needs to be permanent, but nobody wants to go full keto, and never eat pizza or chocolate chip cookies ever again for the rest of their lives. It is nearly inevitable that anyone will fail that sort of diet.
Since you are committing to a lifestyle change, make it simple and effective, allows you the opportunity for guilt-free indulgence, and make it PERMANENT. Want some chocolate? Don't eat an entire chocolate bar, eat a few chocolate chips, let them melt in your mouth and coat your tongue, and it will satisfy your chocolate cravings with a fraction of the calories.
Of course, if you want to supercharge your weight loss, start exercising, especially cardio. I have a physically intensive job, so I don't worry about the exercise as much, but I am about to start running again, after getting the clearance from my doctor. I just got my new runners yesterday, and I'm going to add that to my efforts to lose my last 50 pounds.
Exercise could be my 4th rule, but I wanted to demonstrate that it is possible to lose a LOT of weight with a simple lifestyle change that doesn't include exercise (although exercise is always welcome). I've lost 100 pounds while eating anything I want, and learned to play the guitar at the same time. That's a food lifestyle that's worth the effort.
I have tried to explain to people what is like to be hungry all the time not matter what you do. AT one point I was 265 pounds and getting bigger. I did cut out sodas and it helped me lose weight. I am to 201 now and I I do not run 3 to 5 miles 3 days a week and bike the other days the weight comes right back. I was sick all last winter and in May I was 235. I take Ozempic 2mm shots and Metformin twice a day. I measure every thing I eat. and if I break the routine one day like on Thanksgiving I pa for it for a week because the weight comes right back over a few days. The struggle I have drags me down. I would like to have a beer or a burger every now and then but any thing with carbohydrates just make the weight pile on. The food noise in my head is deafening. It is all I think about. My doctor said the Ozempic would quiet the noise but it has done nothing.
Nicotine. Started as a kid, 25y ago. Smoked for about 18y, then switched to vaping when it was new. Started lowering my mg over the last few years, until I hit 0mg late last year, then put that down. Of course, stress doesnโt want to let me fully stop and Iโve learned that after all that time I canโt lean on just one cessation aid. But a combo of patch+inhaler+the right company have mad it easier to not think about as much. Hopefully I can keep that trend going ๐ค
"It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times." Mark Twain
Good luck friend, I had a very similar progression and after decades of addiction, I am now over 2 years without any nicotine of any kind. You can do it.
Just quit nicotine again for the 3rd total time. Sucks a lot. And I feel like the nicotine pouches are significantly more addictive than cigarettes or tobacco ever were.
My secret this time was nicotine lozenges. They taste so terrible that it even overcame the positive association I have with nicotine. Good luck out there!
For me its was self harm , it took over 10 years to stop finally . Im truly blessed that I healed mentally and physically ( barely any scarring , infections or anything of that matter )
Sugar. I'm prediabetic and this shit is everywhere. I know, medically, what I need to do: significantly cut back for 6-9 months until the insulin-resistant blood cells are replaced by normal ones, and start doing HIIT exercises to move that closer to 6 than 9.
But like, doing anything consistently for 6 months is a challenge for me, much less avoiding something that gives me the happy brain chemicals.
Bike bike bike!
Specifically, road. Put yourself aside, and just try it properly. The freedom is amazing and self motivating. The reason you don't see many people is primarily because they don't try road bikes and don't understand them. People tend to prejudice the unfamiliar. The bike is optimal for human anatomy in unintuitive ways. The efficiency is amazing. The number of disabled people that ride is far higher than you likely imagine. While women are a more rare segment in cycling, the primary barrier is only self perception. Roadies are super friendly and accepting of everyone, except during a race. If you've got a slower metabolism like me, you will likely excel at endurance activities. The airflow keeps your body temperature lower than any exercise other than swimming. That is why I always struggled with a gym routine; getting uncomfortably hot. Committing to a ride is not like other exercise where you are able to contemplate stopping early. It takes 3 weeks to get used to a saddle, and 6 to turn actively pushing yourself into a neutral routine your body accepts. Everything after 6 weeks starts to become harder to stop than it is to continue. I was 350lbs in 2009 and under 190lbs by 2013. Even after a broken neck and back in 2014, it is still easier for me to keep my routine than it is to stop. Your sugar problems will go away in a few months time. One of the other groups of avid cyclists is celebrities. Like Robin Williams was famous for people encountering him on the road and at events. On a bike, in a kit, helmet, and sunglasses, you are totally anonymous. It does not matter how you think it will be before trying it, on a bike you assume a new identity and no one knows who you are unless you tell them. Road is the only type of bike that is like this. Every other type of bike is a compromise and totally different experience. I've worked with diabetic amputees, people that could not walk, and been and worked with the morbidly obese. You can do it dear!
I'm a lifelong bike commuter and trail rider. I ride a minimum of 50 miles a week. It the wrong kind of exercise for this.
But hell yeah bike! bike! bike! for its own sake!
Are you in the states? I am, and once I started reading labels, I couldn't believe how much sugar was in everything. From bread to jar sauce, peanut butter, fuckin, soup. Like, it's incredible where you find sugar.
I'm fat from other stuff,mostly inactivity, but far from diabetic, and it's because I've been avoiding the hidden sugars in processed and ultra processed foods for over a decade. Read the labels, get grossed out, avoid. If I'm having sugar, it's my choice, not because they sneak 5g of sugar in a half cup of jar sauce, or 6g in a slice of bread. Know what's sweet? Red bell peppers. Avoid sugar a week, and then have a red bell pepper. You're taste buds will explode with its sweetness.
There are now, fortunately, plenty of low carb, low glycemic products that are a lifesaver when you have cravings. 5 years ago navigating the world without sugar was a nightmare but these days it's much easier. You can't really go out to eat, people will get offended when you turn down food they've offered, but you can do it.
I don't have any answer to the "hardest addiction" thing but OP, I don't think watching a lot of porn is inherently a problem. Sometimes people just masturbate because they're bored, in which case you should try to get some hobbies you find more fulfilling. But if you're masturbating because you're horny, why not, it does no harm.
Do it for your health. Ejaculation frequency and prostate cancer
The scientists found no evidence that frequent ejaculations mark an increased risk of prostate cancer. In fact, the reverse was true: High ejaculation frequency was linked to a decreased risk. Compared to men who reported 4โ7 ejaculations per month across their lifetimes, men who ejaculated 21 or more times a month enjoyed a 31% lower risk of prostate cancer. And the results held up to rigorous statistical evaluation even after other lifestyle factors and the frequency of PSA testing were taken into account.
Note that there are other ways to achieve ejaculation besides masturbating
๐
Use it or lose it.
Social media. I kicked out all the "algorithmic" stuff 6 years ago. Still find myself spending hours each day refreshing RSS feeds looking for a cheap dopamine hit.
I wish I could stop chewing my stupid fingernails
Everytime I manage to not bite my nails down and have actual nails, something stressful happens. Every. Single. Time.
I did it my whole life (~mid forties now).
I met and was talking to a guy about 10-15 years ago, and it came up - he said "oh yeah, I used to do that, I just stopped."
Now, consider that, we're both addicts and met at a 12-step meeting.
I'm like "You can't just stop guy, lawl, wtf?"
But he insisted - "No, really, I just stopped."
So I tried ... and was absolutely, completely fucking stunned - it worked - I just stopped.
This was a tough one for me. One thing that helped was always having nail clippers and a file at my desk at home and work. Any time I felt the urge to bite a nail I would use the clippers and file instead. Over time I have been able to taper down the biting quite a lot and now I'm to the point where I can grow my nails out. The ring fingers are by far the toughest to quit as they're the most satisfying ones to bite. ADHD medication also helped.
Using the phone in bed. Before going to sleep. Immediately after waking up.
Weed. I kicked weed about 6 years ago and alcohol about 2, but relapsed recently and canโt seem to stop. Itโs driving me insane, and my mental health is in the gutter. Hoping I can quit again before the new year.
My life got so much better kicking weed. I always knew it was bringing me down, but I never quite realized just how much. Add all the restrictions for jobs to it and it's just a cocktail for depression.
I've come to grips with, "it fits for some, not for me."
Yeah I came to terms with that years ago, unfortunately addiction is a crafty bitch. Congrats on you for kicking the habit ๐ช
Give yourself time to try again. Think about how long you smoked and drank before you quit the first time. I know you want to sprint to the finish line but you gotta stretch first.
If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now. Besides, being hard on you is everyone else's job. They dont need the help.
Broski, you got this!
Smoking. Quit for seven years and picked it back up. Worst decision of my life. Was cutting back on vaping to quit when the pan happened. Allowed myself the vice for stress. Donโt plan on trying a third time. Too much effort.
This. I know 'nicotine' is already here, but it's not the same.
Confused the hell out of me when I was trying to switch to vaping that I'd keep going back to cigarettes - "I'M GETTING THE NICOTINE, WHAT THE HELL?!", and it wasn't just habit, it was overwhelming need to smoke.
I finally figured some of those other 2999 or whatever chemicals in there must be addictive too, or something, I don't know.
I've quit drinking, when I was a daily drinker at risk of a seizure because my body had grown so chemically dependent on it. I've quit countless other 'behavioral' addictions.
NOTHING, was as hard as trying to quit smoking. Until, thank the powers that be, I met vaping, and after a couple months of back and forth, was able to transition to it entirely. Haven't had a cigarette since, and it's been at least 10-11 years.
Eventually lowered my nicotine to 0 mg, then gave up the vaping. Haven't done either since. That was, probably 8-9 years ago now.
I still get the odd craving to vape. Zero cravings to smoke up until last year, first trip in my life to Vegas (and two more since). The casino environment with everyone smoking, I don't know what it is. Got me looking at it with the rose coloured glasses occasionally while there - but then I quickly remember how hard it was to shake, and how happy I am without it.
Phone
Cigarettes
Sugar.
I don't consider myself a gooner or coomer or whatever, but there are days where I really feel like a fucking waste of a person due to how much I beat it. Sometimes I'm doing something else, but if I'm not focused, sometimes horny will just happen and that gets focus quite easily.
I know the best way for me to get rid of that is to block sites via hosts file, as it's a slight annoyance to edit it in Windows (gotta open notepad as admin, then make it open c:\windows\system32\drivers\etc\hosts), which is already enough to make me give up and do something else. I have added a bunch, but there are many that aren't blocked and it's so damn easy to find them...
My silver lining is that I don't use the phone for porn, so I only need to step away from my computer to avoid porn altogether, but the PC is my main addiction that I'm not even trying to break.
To stop smoking is a tough road to walk for anyone. I say stop, not quit, because I'm not sure the urge ever leaves you. Been 25 years for me, and just typing this makes me want a cigarette. At least a heroin addict can't buy a fix at the nearest 7-11.
Gets better as you age and your dick doesnt run your life.