this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2026
950 points (99.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

36539 readers
3931 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] BrickEater@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

What in interesting use of free will

[–] vaionko@sopuli.xyz 25 points 2 days ago
[–] klay1@lemmy.world 41 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Among everybody here, you have the most potential to learn something.

I've been told that a few times....

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 38 points 2 days ago

You can't be underestimated

[–] nirodhaavidya@lemmy.world 139 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Every moment I spend with you is better than the next.

[–] nailingjello@piefed.zip 23 points 2 days ago

Bravo, that one took the most thought to figure out it was backhanded.

[–] Birch@sh.itjust.works 49 points 2 days ago

You cured my impostor syndrome, thank you.

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 26 points 2 days ago (7 children)

Many of these rely on big words, or are actually pretty obviously insults even if you don't understand.

The real gems are the ones that read like simple english compliments, unless you spend actual effort looking for the insult.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

During my short tenure in the American South I thought women of all ages were in to me because they'd often say, 'Bless your heart!' and call me 'Honey'.

Turns out I should have kept my head down. Don't be fooled by Southern Hospitality.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 3 points 1 day ago

Honestly, if someone hadn’t let me in on the secret, I probably still wouldn’t have figured it out. Three thoughts later? This one could take you anywhere from three days to three years to figure out.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Objection@lemmy.ml 63 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Colbert at Bush's correspondence dinner:

The greatest thing about about this man is that he's steady, you know where he stands. He believes the same thing on Wednesday that he did on Monday... no matter what happened on Tuesday.

A burn so severe, so long-lasting, that he no longer has to pay to heat his home.

[–] squaresinger@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

I don't have one in English, but I have some in German for those who understand.

My Granddad had a female coworker that was higher in rank than him. He would always greet her with "Meine Allerwerteste". It's a word play because "Meine Werteste" is equivalent to a very formal version of "my dear". "Aller" is a superlative form, so basically "My very dearest". But "Mein Allerwertester" (so the male form of what he used) means "my ass".

The other one is to use terminology like "Er versucht immer sein Bestes zu geben" ("He always tries to give his best"). In Austria, you are legally allowed to ask for a work testimony from your employer when you are looking for a new job. There is some legislation that prohibits negative speech in these work testimonies so that your employer cannot make you look bad in front of your potential new employer (which makes the whole concept pretty useless, but it is what it is). So to get around that, employers adopted a kind of "secret" code where e.g. "tries to" means "fails to". So you can use the same kind of terminology to deliver something that sounds like a compliment, but for everyone in the know (which is most people by now) it's clear that you deeply offended the person you are talking about.

[–] officermike@lemmy.world 182 points 3 days ago (7 children)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Cattail@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What you lack in evidence or convincing argument, you make up with conviction.

That's the trick. End with the part that sounds nice

[–] zebidiah@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 days ago

Wisdom has been chasing you, but you are faster!!

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 140 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (6 children)

Shakespeare had a banger.

"I was going to challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed."

I also like.

"I could agree with you but then we'd both be wrong."

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 64 points 3 days ago

“I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

A former co-worker got me with this one many years ago. I laughed out loud. I've never forgotten it.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 93 points 3 days ago (9 children)

You're really at the top of the bell curve!

[–] runner_g@piefed.blahaj.zone 29 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Your intelligence is at least on the top 95% of people.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] Romer@reddthat.com 65 points 3 days ago

You are a testament to the quality of the educational system.

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 64 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

"That's a surprisingly confident take."

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] 18107@aussie.zone 71 points 3 days ago (9 children)

"See you soon!"

"Not if I see you first"

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] treesquid@lemmy.world 45 points 3 days ago

Your ratio of words to significance is extremely high

[–] borokov@lemmy.world 80 points 3 days ago

You are hard to underestimate.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 53 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Almost every British insult is like this.

  • I admire your courage in wearing that!
  • Your personality is unique.
  • I'm genuinely impressed by your unconventional approach to social intercourse.
  • Your hair is magnificent, does it grow everywhere like that?
  • You have such a tremendous, characterful appearance. Ever thought about a career in radio?
  • You're really very special, aren't you?
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Bgugi@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

😀😀😀...😠

[–] TheDoozer@lemmy.world 33 points 3 days ago

"My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."

-Malcom Reynolds, CAPT.

[–] crapwittyname@feddit.uk 7 points 2 days ago

I would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

[–] SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 46 points 3 days ago

This one's not so brainy, but considering the character it was addressed to it was enough - that being one of my favorite lines from the show Firefly: "Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."

[–] nailingjello@piefed.zip 59 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Not directly related, but I've always liked the comeback

I've been called worse by better people

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago

I see you are not hindered by the restrictions of logic.

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 43 points 3 days ago (16 children)

These kinds of insults just make people sound like redditors.

load more comments (16 replies)
[–] vga@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 days ago

lemmy.ml might be a good instance for you.

load more comments
view more: next ›