this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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top 44 comments
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[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 79 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I’ve never been ashamed of or regretted licking ass.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 3 points 11 hours ago

I too have never been asshamed for licking ass

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

you've never drunk 14 beers at chilis, huh

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 37 points 1 day ago

So uh, you busy later?

[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 49 points 1 day ago

Found the dog. /s

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 35 points 1 day ago (2 children)

The cells that licked your butthole, the parts of me that once placed tongue to ass, will be purged from my body and perish forever within seven years.

[–] udon@lemmy.world 9 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (3 children)

The cell next to the cell that touched ass touches the cell that touched ass. So indirectly it also touched ass. Once the cell that touched ass gets regenerated, it touches the cell that touched the cell that touched ass.

There is no escape.

[–] Ashelyn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 9 hours ago

By that logic every cell in your body has touched a cell (that has touched a cell)^n that has touched ass

[–] syaochan@feddit.it 9 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] udon@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

It's a classic

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 5 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

If I fuck your twin, did you lose your virginity?

[–] udon@lemmy.world 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Am I the twin of myself 7 years ago?

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

I apologize for the crudeness, what I mean to say is just because a part of you touches something that touched something else doesn't mean that the second thing touches the same thing as the first thing.

I guess a less rude analogy would have been, "If you put a ladle into hot soup, did you burn your finger?"

[–] udon@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

We're just having a totally sincere intellectual deliberation here about the Tongue of Theseus conundrum

[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Pretty sure tongue cells regen pretty quickly, it might be shorter?

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Burn your tongue on a pizza roll, they'll be gone quick

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

what about capsaican? can i sweat everything out with a billion capsaicans?

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

This made me picture someone panting so hard their tongue was flopping like a dogs tongue out the car window wearing off skin cells

[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

A vintage meme! Nice

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

I really shouldn’t have let go of the girl that was into doing that to me

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You've rimmed this.

my My MY

My bunghole felt so good

You made me say "oh my lawd"

Thank you for blessing me

With unexpected taint cleanin'

STOP

Felchin' time

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Well now I want MC Hammer to record a song about how you can't take back all times you licked his butthole.

Maybe it's a colab with Sir Mix-a-Lot.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 points 9 hours ago

Finally, a use for AI.

[–] GreenDust@lemmings.world 26 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I LIKE
LICKED
BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face, it gets TONGUE

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I want 'em real thick and juicy, so find that juicy double. Mix-a-Lot's in trouble! Beggin' for a piece of that bubble

[–] Skanky@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

Ooooh baybee, I wanna get with ya, And lick your sphincta

[–] moistclump@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Sir Lix-a-Lot

[–] Triton420@mander.xyz 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

are we gonna have to make hammer an abe vigoda website

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] potoo22@programming.dev 5 points 1 day ago

Mongo is appalled

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Yeah but you'll never have that pleasure again

[–] organ@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago

Things that didn't happen

[–] ChristchurchAsshole@lemmy.ml -2 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

This is just fucked up and it shows that people these days don't have a functioning disgust reflex.

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 6 points 15 hours ago

If you've never eaten or had your ass eaten, you're missing out.

[–] yum@lemmy.eco.br 6 points 16 hours ago

You can wash your ass, you know

[–] nibbler@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 18 hours ago

Being horny hampers the disgust reflex

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world -2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

And this is why I don't eat ass.

Well that and it's ass.

Correction: There is a scenario where Id eat ass. I'm not going to give it up, because if it happens it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. And nobody cares either way.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

one lick and you'll be saying, "this tastes like shit!"