Start masturbating in public. People will forget whatever your other problem is.
this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2026
36 points (97.4% liked)
Ask Lemmy
37764 readers
3057 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I built a hundred bridges but am I known as John the bridge builder? NO! I built a dozen a castles but am I known as John the castle builder? NO! But I fuck one sheep...
Are you a generously proportioned italian assumed to be a mobster, by any chance?
Suppose I was, what advice would you give?
Seriously, that's actually a pretty good analogy. 😂
Get a blue Mohawk and wear Hawaiian polos, cargo shorts, and tennis shoes everywhere. If you really don't like what people see, change what they see. Or change the context they see you in. If you're always hanging around a cleaners with other people who look like Italian mobsters and you look like you fit in then there you are. Whether it's ultimately worth it to you to change your appearance or lifestyle is ultimately up to you. There are, ultimately, 4 ways to deal with a problem:
- redefine / stop thinking about it as a problem
- accept that the problem exists
- be willing to do whatever you have to do to change the problem
- be upset about the problem.
#4 is the only one I vehemently recommend against. 1-3 are all roughly equal in the amount of distress you will be left with in the end.
I suppose you could become Big Tony by turning fat to lean muscle but that would only increase the mobster stereotype despite all the hard work. If there's a skill or love you have, you could lean into getting noticeably good at it. Then at least you'd be Fat Tony the Mobster Who's Surprisingly Good At Textile Art.
hugely depends on the social setting and maturity of the people involved.
It doesn't sound like you don't care about your image/reputation.
Fake my death; start over elsewhere.
...again
Learn to stop giving a fuck.
"Ist der Ruf erst ruiniert, lebt es sich ganz ungeniert."
German proverb, that once the reputation is ruined, life can be lived without inhibitions.
Yeah... I guess it depends what happened to cause the reputational ruin though.
Nothing to be done - that image is all in the minds of other people, and you don't control what they think.
Just do you, people will be who they are.
People don't randomly assign you to a stereotype. They based it off of your appearance and actions.
If you want to be seen as someone else, you need to act like that instead.
What I do is, I blast Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation" at full volume and dance around until I feel better.
Keep living your life however you want to. If you lean in to it that can solidify said stereotype, if you lean away from it people can see the opportunity to bully you further with it. Grey rocking the stereotype with simple disinterested answers will lessen it's hold over you. Like the other person said, if you're assumed to be a mobster, saying things like "yeah people have been making that joke all my life now", "ohh original havne't heard that before", "sure, watch out or I'll get the boys onto you." Passively engage with it giving it as little energy as possible and people will usually match that. If someone thinks they're hit comedy gold with your stereotype ask if they'll ever have any new material or are they planning on using the same tired joke through your entire relationship?
So what should one do when they have an image they don’t care for?
If one doesn't care, why bother?
"Don't care for" means "don't like"
I don't care for rutabagas
This is the first phrasal verb that doesn't make sense to me, or I can say, I don't care for?
thx :)
Wear a funny hat.
You should focus on being true to yourself and let others think what they want.
Anyone's opinion of you, that isn't close enough to you to know if it's accurate, doesnt matter.
hermit.
Get a new group?