this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2026
439 points (98.2% liked)

Not The Onion

20778 readers
1125 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 7 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Conservatives clearly hate our Constitution. So why don't they secede? Seems like something they'd be into. They even whine about it from time to time.

The answer is because their failing red states require our blue states to exist.

This is an abusive relationship and it's high time we end it. We do not need them. They need us.

[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 2 points 5 hours ago

At this rate, we will have duels to the death between the Blues and Reds.

[–] KeenFlame@feddit.nu 25 points 14 hours ago

Nope, that is not democracy

[–] villainy@lemmy.world 14 points 14 hours ago

State law already allows challenges to a voter’s registration up to the 90th day before an election, if a person is suspected of lacking South Dakota residency, voting in another state or being registered to vote in another state. The new law adds citizenship as a justification for a challenge.

Challenges may be filed by the South Dakota Secretary of State’s Office, the auditor in the county where the voter is registered, or a voter in the same county. The challenge must be in the form of a signed, sworn statement and must include what the law describes as “documented evidence.”

So the "challenge" this already exists but citizenship is being added as another reason. I wonder what the requirements for evidence are or if some county officials will call the sworn statement itself "documented evidence."

[–] NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca 27 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

So when they receive a complaint about every non-Republican voter, are they going to say that there is a 2 year backlog on paperwork, so these people will have to skip this election?

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 16 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Start challenging the Republican voters, then.

[–] IphtashuFitz@lemmy.world 8 points 12 hours ago

If I lived there then this is what I’d do. Challenge every single person who shows up to vote. After all, how can I personally know they are allowed to vote if they don’t prove it to ME?

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Probably the most not-the-onion headline I've ever read. My brain keeps trying to illustrate it as comedy to explain it to myself in my mind.

My brain's conclusion?

Jesus fucking Christ, I'm so tired.

[–] pedz@lemmy.ca 64 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (3 children)

Not being from the US, I was flabbergasted when I learned how voting laws are working there. Where I live we're all automatically registered by the government. They send a card with your name and your address. If there is an error, or if people don't get a card, they can manually register or correct the error. And we all stay registered unless we move or there is an error. That's it.

I'm in my mid life and had to register once in my 20ies because I moved a lot. Otherwise the government just automatically registers me. Nobody can challenge that except the election's office. They decide who meets the requirements to vote or not. Not some random conservative asshole that thinks people are not white enough. Democracy in the US seems like a joke.

[–] you_are_dust@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago

We don't do "efficiency" round these parts.

[–] Hacksaw@lemmy.ca 7 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

In Canada we have the same thing. You can every year when filling taxes tick off a box to update your voter info to save you the work. You also can register at the voting booth with ID, or proof of residence, or the statement of a registered voter in the area willing to vouch for you.

Basically zero voter fraud.

Voter ID and registration laws are pure voter suppression!

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 0 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

In Canada, though, everyone has Some form of gov ID, if even just a health card (from the gov, With your pic and address).

Many, many Americans don't have ID.

Also. "Real ID" is another animal, not produced in all regions, barely usable, a mess. If they're demanding "real ID" the challenges will be exciting.

[–] Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 hours ago

No not really, a bunch of us Canadians don't have ID and there are alternate criteria to register

[–] pedz@lemmy.ca 3 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Voter ID and registration laws are pure voter suppression!

Indeed. I'm in Canada too so that's why this is familiar to you. As an anecdote, I don't drive and have no license. Once, a long time ago, an election worker was kind of insisting that I had to show one to vote. I had the other required documents and was able to vote but not having a diver's license apparently made them suspicious. And that was my biggest hurdle with providing ID at an election!

Lots of comments can be read about people not going to vote, some even blaming them for the election results, but it's just incredible how difficult they seem to make voting in the US.

[–] Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 hours ago

https://www.elections.ca/content.aspx?section=vot&dir=ids&document=index&lang=e

You can literally show up buck naked and have your next door neighbour vouch for you.

If anyone is prevented from voting, they should make a report regardless of if they think it was right or not.

Look at that list of acceptance ID, literally a pill bottle and your work issued ID will count as two pieces.

[–] GalacticGrapefruit@lemmy.world 36 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

It isn't a joke. Jokes are funny. This isn't funny. If hasn't been funny, ever.

[–] hector@lemmy.today 2 points 16 hours ago

It's funny to them.

[–] EvilBit@lemmy.world 212 points 1 day ago (7 children)

Time to start looking up every white-ass right-wing voter in the state that has a second home or spends early November out of state this year and challenge their registration 91 days before the 2028 election.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 6 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

Do it. Let me know if I can help.

Don't limit it to those that spend time out of state. It's not your job to be accurate. I assume everyone travels.

[–] RymrgandsDaughter@lemmy.world 24 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

flooding the office is the only way to deal with these things

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago

We can "flood the zone", too.

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

If a county auditor deems the challenge valid

The article doesn't say how South Dakota county auditors are chosen, how they make decisions or what scrutiny they are subject to but I'm not sure I like your chances here

[–] SpikesOtherDog@ani.social 4 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

It doesn't matter. If 50 people challenge every voter in the state, that's almost 50m reports that need sorted. Ideally, there will be enough outrage that thousands of people will be reporting. Also, manually reporting without using an API to create a denial of service would be the best tactic. The point is to display how insipid the process is, not to cause a denial of service attack.

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 hours ago

In the worst case, maybe they could simply disallow manual reports, and automate the selection of reports that match their desired outcomes, and the silent discard of all others.

[–] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 57 points 1 day ago (8 children)

wait'll white people start claiming indigenous people aren't citizens.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 94 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You’re too late. ICE has already arrested people with Native American IDs, claiming they are invalid.

[–] Burninator05@lemmy.world 59 points 1 day ago (4 children)

ICE has arrested people with valid REAL-IDs claiming they aren't real. They'll do whatever they want to whoever they want.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (7 replies)
[–] kboos1@lemmy.world 39 points 1 day ago (2 children)

That would be hilarious. Just start challenging anyone and everyone with a MAGAt sticker just before the election and lock them all down in pointless bureaucracy of proving their citizenship

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Real chaotic good energy. I dig it!

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] AnnaFrankfurter@lemmy.ml 17 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Good now challenge citizenship of all white ppl

[–] SpikesOtherDog@ani.social 7 points 16 hours ago

EZPZ.

Find red districts.

Cross reference with public address information.

Automate the challenge process.

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

GO BACK TO EUROPE YOU PALE, TERRITORIAL CHEESEWHEATS

edited to add specificity

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 4 points 15 hours ago

"John Smith"? Doesn't sound like a local name to me! Yeah don't bother with the Dakota people ancestry either. They aint from around here. Oh you claim the land belongs to Paleoindian people called 'Ugluk' or 'Kroar'? Well fuck off, glyptodonts should rule this place.

[–] BigTrout75@lemmy.world 17 points 22 hours ago

How else are you going to legally bully and intimidate voters?

[–] GuyFawkesV@lemmy.world 23 points 23 hours ago

“How could this go wrong?” Said absolutely no one.

[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 99 points 1 day ago

So they added pvp to voting

[–] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 81 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Republican Gov. Larry Rhoden signed legislation into law last week that authorizes challenges by individuals and election officials.

It would be a terrible shame if a bunch of people started challenging Larry's citizenship.

[–] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Rhoden"!?!

Sounds like a foreigner to me!

[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

He’s obviously a very large monster from Japan. I’m thinking some kind of kaiju mosquito. Dibs on the band name

[–] grimpy@lemmy.myserv.one 32 points 1 day ago

South Dakota? Home of Kristi Noem? UNBELIEVABLE!!!

[–] SpicyLizards@reddthat.com 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] perishthethought@piefed.social 8 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Who are you who is so knowledgeable in the ways of science?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›