this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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…and then I found five dollars!

*Edited to use original source with artist’s credit

top 40 comments
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[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Um, there's a mollusk, see...And he walks up to a sea, well he doesn't walk up, he swims up. Well, actually the mollusk isn't moving. He's in one place and then the sea cucumber, well they... I mixed up. There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that I... There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally, they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks. So the sea mollusk says to the cucumber...

With fronds like these, who needs anemones?

[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Curse of parenting a kid that loves Finding Nemo: I identified that dialog by the time I hit the first ellipses.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 6 points 2 weeks ago

I was just about to say "the blessing of being a full grown adult that loves finding Nemo"...

I always wanted to hear that joke the right way...

[–] Atherel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Maxxus@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you. I saved this years ago and didn’t know the source. I’m going to swap this in.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 weeks ago

there we go, thank you

[–] SolacefromSilence@fedia.io 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Practice, practice, practice. The best stories have been told 100x and the presenter adjusts each new telling to fit the audience.

I know this and still tell stories like the second pane, haha

[–] zout@fedia.io 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The best stories have been told 100x

I had a coworker like that, thank god he retired early.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's important that those 100x are to different people.

Your coworker sound like my grandpa.

[–] NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My grandpa had a handful of stories that he told over and over again. Yes, it got a little hard to laugh and react at the correct parts after 20 listens. But I must say that I would absolutely love the chance to travel back in time and hear him spin one of his yarns again.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 4 points 2 weeks ago

Same.

Every time I visited him, even if it was the third time that week, he would break out a small flashlight he replaced the incandescent bulb with a (very dim) led, tell me about how LEDs work, and demonstrate the fact that it won't work in reverse...

I still have the flashlight.

[–] HMWYSPlease@lemmy.org 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Might want to look into getting tested for ADHD if this resonates with you. This is a more accurate representation of how our brains work than the old "squirrel" joke.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Tested and medicated, still have that problem. Wat do?

[–] HMWYSPlease@lemmy.org 2 points 2 weeks ago

It's not a problem in the sense that you can "fix" it. If you try really hard you can train yourself to notice when you jump mental tracks then possibly steer yourself back to the main line. At the same time even if you have if it's a topic you're really excited about? pfffff good fucking luck. Other external factors can also make it next to impossible to do anything about.

That's just how our brains work.

Honestly some of the best conversations I've had were with my best friend who also has ADHD. Good fucking luck following those conversations if you aren't neurospicy. We just embrace that we are enjoying the conversation so it does matter if the conversation started about D&D and 10 min later we are talking about tacos being to salty. -shrug- we will probably get back to D&D if we are exposed to the stimulus that started the conversation.

[–] huquad@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 weeks ago

I think the best way to tell the story is by starting at the end, briefly, then going back to the beginning, and then periodically returning to the end, maybe giving different characters' perspectives throughout. Just to give it a bit of dynamism, otherwise it's just sort of a linear story.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

They are as good at talking as they are poor at listening. :)

Some of them predict what you are going to say and interrupt you as well when you are talking, so they can get back to talking. Lol.

I once asked someone why they do that and she said because its boring to wait for me to finish talking.

I guess their brains are always full of things to say and there is too little time to say it, specially when someone else talks and takes up time..

[–] oracle_of_vp@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

😂 that‘s me

[–] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago

Wait… You guys make it to the end of the story?

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Have I just been diagnosed?

[–] CombatWombat@feddit.online 5 points 2 weeks ago

If it's any consolation, most of my favorite facts I've learned about my closest friends have been because they lost the plot while telling a story.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 2 weeks ago

Starts talking

30 minutes later "Ah shit... I forgot where this was going."

[–] synapse1278@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

I know someone like that, but honestly I always loved it listening to their stories.

[–] akakevbot@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I felt the apologize tile in my soul.

[–] Mister_Hangman@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Hi is this the group where we all hold hands and cry about how fucking on the nose this is?

[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

This could have been a straight line with the same nodes and edges. Maybe some 90 degree turns to stay in a square image format.

[–] chortle_tortle@mander.xyz 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think that's kinda the point.

[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Then it should have been called ADHD storytelling and illustrating.

[–] chortle_tortle@mander.xyz 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That seems unnecessary, the intent was very clear.

[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

The graph is needlessly confusing. If you wanted to describe the ADHD storytelling process, a clearer graph would be easier to read.

[–] chortle_tortle@mander.xyz 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Are you trolling?

The graph is needlessly confusing. If you wanted to describe the ADHD storytelling process, a clearer graph would be easier to read.

What an astute observation, I wonder what that suggests about ADHD storytelling?

[–] sem@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago

It is hard to understand the graph because it is so hard to read.

If they wanted people to read it they could have made it easier. Us ahdh people have it hard enough as it is.

I can tell this is true because even your meme has a lot of reading

[–] Teppa@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

ADHD has become the new "I'm so random" for 13 year old girls. Before they realize nobody gives a shit.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

With age this improves: I can now come back to were I left the story after I went down on a tangent, even after going down tangents of the tangent.

(Well, usually).

[–] Professorozone@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Classic RPG story telling.

[–] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 3 points 2 weeks ago

It's the Kingdom Hearts series storyboard.

[–] Linken@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Honestly I feel like half my time in therapy is just talking to her about whatever.

I just want to include all the details so they can experience it like I did!

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

I spent like 3 hours doing this to explain the Gundam UC timeline to somebody once. Except for the apologizing part. Why would I apologize for that? It was glorious.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago