this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2026
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[–] Signtist@bookwyr.me 121 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)
  • Live in America
  • Have enough money to become immune to legal repercussions
  • Do whatever you want, knowing you'll never have to face any sort of real punishment for it
[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 52 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Live in America

Regret it everyday

???

Die, I guess

[–] Mantzy81@aussie.zone 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Die from a treatable but financially crippling disease that would have been covered by a public health system anywhere else.

Ftfy

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)
  • Be born rich

  • Spend the rest of your life falling up stairs

[–] lagoon8622@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

I always seem to skip step 1 on NG+. I just can't remember how to do it at that stage in the game

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[–] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 77 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 5 points 1 week ago

Beat me to it

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 60 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)
  • Ally yourself with whoever you spoke to last.

  • Do diplomacy by shouting in public and assuming the message will reach your enemy.

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 25 points 1 week ago

There's another, even dumber world where Trump has such a great visit to Iran, we team up to invade greenland.

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[–] Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 52 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If "the other side" actually wanted to prosecute the kid fucker they would have done so during the Biden administration.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He was found guilty of a felony and the allotted punishment was... LITERALLY NOTHING

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

It's always funny how absolutely nothing happened to judges who let Trump off and the electors who elected Trump against the vote of the people. Such democracy, wow.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

He has the biggest stick in the world, but he doesn't meet the strength, intelligence, or wisdom requirements to wield it, so when he uses it it degrades faster than normal and doesn't work.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

He has the biggest stick in the world, but he doesn’t meet the strength, intelligence, or wisdom requirements to wield it

Trump with more competency would be a different kind of disastrous. Better military leadership, a broader global alliance, and more effective (ie, not the AI slop) weaponry would just mean another Libya or Syria instead of an Iranian state that's held firm.

Trump with more intelligence would have meant doing an Obama-style Stuxnet attack or a new and more pernicious sabotage/infiltration operation. One that would further destabilize society in Iran until it was ripe for collapse, a la Yugoslavia or modern day Cuba.

Trump with more wisdom would have meant not doing any of this shit to begin with. The wisest thing to do with a The Biggest Stick is to cast it into the fire. Destroy it. Trump's not the first President to become seduced by the mad whispers of a dozen different Pentagon analysts and John Bolton minded strategists. Iran is ultimately just a repeat of Iraq and Afghanistan, Vietnam and Korea. Our imperialism is a cancer upon the planet and the source of our own social decay.

when he uses it it degrades faster than normal and doesn’t work

When anyone uses it, all it can do is degrade society and undermine long-term socio-economic goals. To war is to splatter yourself with the blood of your neighbors. You can never justify it, in the end. You can never war "correctly".

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[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago

It isn't as big as it used to be by comparison. Power creep is a removed

[–] belastend@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The first bullet point is actually just copied from the great warlord ImaQTPie: "If you don't know what the fuck you're doing, how's the enemy supposed to know?"

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[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I like that last one ... but I doubt Democrats will do anything at this point. Dems are just Republicans that still play make believe and sort of pretend to care about people.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I mean establishment Dems are (so most of them) and they need to be primaried.

[–] SirEDCaLot@lemmy.today 6 points 1 week ago

Amen to this. There's a very few couple of good ones, but for the most part the Old guard Democrats really need to go enjoy their long overdue retirement and let some new people with new ideas and new energy carry the torch.
The old playbook isn't working anymore. It doesn't resonate with voters. It doesn't address the major problems with our country.

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[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What about "throw tantrums like a little boy" ?

[–] comfy@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Art of the Squeal

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

AFAIK, The only blackmail we've seen in the 2% of epstein files that were released was blackmailing Gates to cover up how he gave his wife an STD. It seems like they were simply ideologically and materially aligned with Israel.

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think its most likely a mixture of both. I don't want to give the impression that I subscribe to the ZOG point of view

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Given that we're talking about terabytes of data, it wouldn't be surprising if the bulk of the files were video used for blackmail, but what doesn't add up is how friendly they all seem in the emails. You don't ask the guy blackmailing you when the wildest party is.

Do we live in such a dumb world that Epstein set up all this blackmail infrastructure, but never ended up using it because the perspective victims were happy to support him anyway?

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I see it as a mutual insurance thing. We probably have something on them too. Doing horrible things together can also be surprisingly bonding.

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 week ago

America I guess. It is weird to say we huh, I wasn't really thinking about it.

[–] moakley@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

prospective

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trump - the fart of war

[–] canniest_tod@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Pretty good, but the Dems are equally rudderless and won't prosecute, just like last time.

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

it's wild to me that they're considered progressive when like. my aunt is literally an old white bitch that romanticizes the kennedys as "american royalty." Like don't get me wrong they're way better but like in the sense that they don't want to just like. Shoot me. They still want me to know my place as a peasant. They're not gonna do anything that's going to risk them actively losing any power in the normal electional way. They're just crossing their fingers that the other guys won't just like. Start shooting. We're reaching the point where it's the dems that are regressive in that they want everything to stay the same and it's the alt right that's pushing for change. It's terrifying genocidal change but it's attractive to a certain segment of the population on the sole merit that at least it's technically change.

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[–] Linken@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

I think the only thing I could have in common with a Trump supporter is that we can agree the Democrats are useless, and that the Republicans can get shit done.

Republicans are also pure evil, and only work to create as much pain and suffering as possible.

[–] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

they also won't allow good Democrats to be elected to any position of significance

[–] wpb@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That last part was interesting to me. Every president since Eisenhower, every single one, no exceptions (none), was a war criminal. Has any administration ever prosecuted a previous one for war crimes?

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago

No and they probably never will. At most they would he prosecuted for endangering the national project.

[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

who is Jeffery Epstein? 🫲🍊🫱

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 week ago

I read that from top to bottom and not a single thing was wrong or even an exaggeration.

It really is that bad.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

4chan users now: makes greentexts like this.

4chan users before: voted for DJT for the memes, for gamergate, and that the transes transed their favorite gay bamboozle character, Bridget from GGST (reminder that the "trans women are tricking straight men" myth came from straight men tricking each other into watching femboy/trans porn); and due to the wizard game drama.

[–] jaemo@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

4chan: The forever unwashed taint of the internet. Ever has it been so.

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[–] desertdruid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 week ago

4chan users before before:

[–] Asfalttikyntaja@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That “little girl” thing sounds better if it were “toddler”

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[–] Mudman@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago

Glad he got a soccer prize. What a joke.

[–] libre_warrior@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Girls and boys are equally likely to throw tantrums.

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[–] ruuster13@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 week ago

How to lose allies and alienate your own people

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago

On Iran specifically:

  • When you surround an enemy, leave an outlet free. Realize they have control over that outlet, and you really need shit to pass through there too. Remove sanctions on them because that outlet being closed really fucks with your oil prices and holy fuck are people mad about that and if your enemy can sell their oil prices will come down slightly. Shit, that only gives them more profits, and it helps one of your other big geopolitical rivals whose economy depends entirely on oil. Declare victory.
  • If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant -- wait, that sounds like something a pussy would do, pretend to be strong, no wait, strong and really fucking crazy, then back down and declare victory.
  • If ignorant both of your enemy and yourself, you can make up for it by POSTING THREATS TO COMMIT WAR CRIMES ON SOCIAL MEDIA IN ALL CAPS.
  • He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight and tells his golfing buddies ahead of time so they can make their bets on prediction markets.
  • Move not unless you see an advantage; use not your troops unless there is something to be gained; fight not unless the position is critical; if details of your paedophilia are coming to light, join your least popular ally in the most pointless war and hope Fox News stops talking about Epstein.

And more generally:

  • The most clever of States will spend generations building a military alliance containing the richest countries in the world, and will use that to ensure that all conflicts happen on other continents, never endangering their home. They must then throw that away in a few moons by threatening to annex territories belonging to allies but always chickening out.
  • If your State is endowed with wealth, use that wealth to slowly shape the world to your liking over many generations. You may push other countries to adopt laws and treaties that are preferential to your interests. Be sure to squander that in under a year because you don't understand what a tariff is.
  • All warfare is based on deception. Hence, one should lie constantly, about fucking everything. It matters not how obvious your lies are, people donning hats of red will believe and repeat those lies.
  • Communication is the key to warfare, so guard well your lines of communication. If you can ensure that the communication of your allies and enemies passes through your territory, use that to your advantage, but draw no attention. Then, one day, just fucking throw that whole advantage away because of some shit you saw on teevee.
[–] OctopusNemeses@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The last point hasn't actually happened.

[–] Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The democrats don't prosecute their political opponents, because that would be weaponizing the justice system. They ignore the fact that using the justice system against people who are doing extremely illegal shit doesn't constitute an abuse of the justice system. How they are portrayed by their enemies is more important to the Democrats than accomplishing any sort of political objective. It's the sort of pathetic that is really hard to respect.

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[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I don’t even want trump prosecuted anymore because wanting and not receiving feels psychologically harmful. Now I just want normalcy but I expect nothing but a move toward antivax natalist theocracy in the US. Presently planning to permanently move to another country when the option becomes available. Fuck this place

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

When did he "appear strong and manly"?

When he was fucking little girls and throwing unwanted babies into lakes?

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