This specific joke format is one of my favorites.
this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2026
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You're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?
Reminds me of this old one:
Wife : Honey, please go to the super market and get 1 bottle of milk. If they have bananas, bring 6.
He came back with 6 bottles of milk.
Wife: Why the hell did you buy 6 bottles of milk?!?!
Husband (confused): BECAUSE THEY HAD BANANAS.
That ain’t marriage material, 10 is only the beginning.
When someone asks how much coffee you drink and you respond with a specific milligram of caffeine you intake on average.
Miligram?!
milligrams of caffeine, not milligrams of coffee. coffee is only about 0.04% caffeine by weight, so a 250mL/8.5oz cup of coffee has about 100mg of caffeine
I just have the machine make espressos until my mug is full. It's not a small 250ml one either.
I just pour whatever's left of the pot my wife made, when she got up for work, into my mug and then microwave it to heat it up. I'm something of a coffee connoisseur.
I said what I said 😉
lol one of my friends does this.
asked me how much caffeine I drink and like idk dude I rebrew my used grounds like a disgusting person does, because it just naturally becomes decaf that way, right?
then he goes on to say how many mg of caffeine he likes on an average day and how it varies depending on length of work day, intensity, and weekends etc
aight dude that's way more thought than I put into it, all I know is that I have a caffeine addiction and I'm slowly weaning myself off it
Yeah I'm a 400-600 mg a day kinda guy lmao. I'm one of the people who answers the question like that. It's really just because I intake caffeine from a variety of sources.
Hmmm I should maybe do that, I dehydrate yesterday’s pot so I can compress my intake
eats the grounds at the bottom of the mug
Hey I paid for that! Water is the cheap bit.
Oh yes. Leave it in the sun, then eat the goo that remains.
Sounds like he's a lightweight.
No commitment.
Is there such a thing as too much coffee?
No
NnNnoOo!.!.
short answer no
long answer in specific medical situations, yes. like, there are heritable heart conditions that you shouldn't have like any caffeine. (i am close to a family where everyone but the folk who married into the family have pacemakers because of it) i'm sure there's other stuff out there, but at a conceptual level for the rest of us no.
Im kidding Ive gotten shaky hands from too strong or too much coffee and Im a teen xD BUT, nevertheless, yummy!
that's nonsense you're an outlier drink more coffee and the shakiness goes right away^1^
^1^i think it goes away by you dying, but all bleeding stops, right?
I haven’t slept for 10 days.
Because that would be too long.
-Mitch Hedberg