And don't even get me started on how we drive on parkways and park in driveways.
this post was submitted on 02 May 2026
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Or how shipments travel by car and cargo travels by ship.
Car go ship? No, car go road.
Car go road? No car go beep beep… you okay buddy??
You cook bacon, but you bake cookies.
Jon's definitely having a stroke
You can bake bacon, but you can not cook cookies.
Sounds like a skill issue.
Your toes do have toetips, just nobody gives a shit about them.
Shove your toes in a politicians face and all of a sudden the whole police force cares about em now
If only that were true, the world would be a slightly less weird place.
Actually tipfinger is what your mom calls that thing I do to her butt.
Just the tip?
The fuck do you mean you don't have toetips? Do your toes not end?
Pretty brave of you to admit openly that you don't have endless toes.
I come from a long and proud line of endtoes.
Where are the Germans in this thread? I'm pretty sure they have a word for your tippy toes.
Yep, for us its the same. Fingertips are 'Fingerspitzen' and the tips of your toes are 'Zehenspitzen', whereas "Spitzen" literally translates to 'tips'
Wanna touchenspitzen?
🥺👉👈
🥺🦶🦶
🐾
Whoa there's a paw track emoji? Nice.
Not a German here, but I bet that word is KurztrumDummerungHimmsschplatzHoch or something.
You may not have toetips, but you do have tippy-toes.
My tongue has a tip, you wanna see what I can do with that?
My asshole is a little crusty. I don't wipe. By the time I get around to it weeks later, I'm pulling out ass hairs trying to cleanup. Horrible all around. You think you can moisten it a bit, or even get it for me? Thx.
This is assault. You're assaulting me.
It's like one of them play-doh fun factory squeeze machines when I take a dump. Some times that tugs on the hairs too.
Also like, they call them fingers, but I've never seen them fing.
Oh wait, there they go…
It’s too late for this shit. Take my upvote
You can tip toe because toes aren't tipped. Likewise you can't tip finger because they are already tipped. 🙃
I won't tip toes for simply doing their job.
Jokes on you. I cut my fingertips off.
Then the new spot is your finger tips
"Captain Sparrow, who is robbing me and what are they taking while you're here beguiling me?"
You can't tipfinger because you're already using your finger tips, but your toe tips are not in use anywhere else, and therefore exclusively used for tiptoeing.