this post was submitted on 05 May 2026
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What do you do in bed that drives your partners crazy?

top 47 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Tedesche@lemmy.world 8 points 6 hours ago

Right as they’re about to climax, I do my Donald Duck impression.

[–] bcgm3@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

Cthulhu driving his partner crazy

They take one look at me, and they're stark raving mad.

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

First put the beads in... Then

[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 0 points 2 hours ago

I've always wanted to rip them out like I'm starting a lawnmower.

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

First put the beads in then..... Let 'ER RIP!

Well communication and asking what they prefer listening to their responses etc BUT getting good with my mouth has gotten me amazing reactions and awe whether it is a dick or a tit I am sucking on.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 11 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

speak eloquently about the existential threat of climate change,.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

*boing* Go on...

[–] 87Six@lemmy.zip 16 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Do the dishes and other chores. If she's not relaxed and thinking of all the other shit in her life that she has to do shortly after she won't enjoy it

Never had sex in my life tho so idk

[–] kalpol@lemmy.ca 10 points 22 hours ago

You're not wrong though

[–] enphurgen@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Can we not turn into reddit please? Just fucking talk to your partner

[–] happydoors@lemmy.world 8 points 18 hours ago

No, there is a simple answer for sex and relationships out there. There’s gotta be. I JUST NEED TO FIND IT. LOUD NOISES.

[–] Confee@fedinsfw.app 13 points 1 day ago

I'm fine with it. Asking questions is a good way to get ideas you may have never thought of yourself.

[–] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 7 points 20 hours ago

I like to rip one out that lifts the bed clothes

[–] throbbing_banjo@lemmy.world 77 points 1 day ago (2 children)

First, I put on my wizard hat...

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 day ago

I was there Gandalf, 3000 years ago...

[–] hemmes@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 12 points 1 day ago

“after me and the missus do it, I wipe my dick on the curtains, and she hits the roof”

[–] thurstylark@lemmy.today 51 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I am pan, and have been with all sorts of people, and I have this one ancient, infallible technique that always guarantees a good time:

Listening

I'm dead serious. It works wonders across the entire board, regardless of gender, sexuality, body type, ability, or equipment configuration. Whoever your partner is, communication is your most valuable tool. Whether verbal or non-verbal, listening to what your partner has to say about what they want and how they feel will always tell you what to do.

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 1 day ago

Yup, former part-time sex worker and all-round slut here - when I saw the title, this was the first thing I thought of.

Second was, learn to enjoy giving pleasure. Nothing gets me off more than getting them past what they thought their limits were >:-)

[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

As someone with less experience I experience that is exactly what I would have expected to be most important but I would have also thought that it is so trivial that it probably doesn't need to be said.

[–] Bwaz@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Maybe not. The basic idea, not obvious to all, is that this is something you do WITH a partner, not a performance you put on for them.

[–] Confee@fedinsfw.app 2 points 1 day ago

I would have also thought that it is so trivial that it probably doesn't need to be said.

In my experience, the majority of people I know who were in relationships don't get it. So many times, their problems could be resolved by simple communication. Sadly, no matter how hard I try to ram it in their heads, they still don't get it.

[–] AskewLord@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago

except when the person lies

[–] guy@piefed.social 9 points 1 day ago

I touch the parts they enjoy and listen to their response for how the touching should be. 9/10 success rate

[–] Gnugit@aussie.zone 40 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Cook dinner, wash the dishes and help with the laundry.

[–] remon@ani.social 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Damn, the housing crises is really bad ... do you at least have a separate room for the toilet?

[–] Gnugit@aussie.zone 2 points 1 day ago

That depends on how spicy we feel.

[–] mech@feddit.org 5 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

You gotta keep up 88 thrusts per minute for at least 2 minutes, then roll over and fall asleep.
Yes, women too.

[–] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 6 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Doing this generates 1.21 jizzywatts.

[–] mech@feddit.org 1 points 8 hours ago

Great Scock!

[–] Confee@fedinsfw.app 5 points 1 day ago

My favorite, (and theirs :3) is combining toys and body. Whether it be a vibrator and your hand or a vibrator and penetration, that double combo makes for some intense times.

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 16 points 1 day ago

!askfedinsfw@fedinsfw.app

[–] AskewLord@piefed.social 5 points 1 day ago

just tell her what a good girl she is.

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Two minutes of wild missionary then BOOM!...Johnny Carson. /s

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago

I like to turn on Johnny to set the mood, actually.

[–] HeyMrDeadMan@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

🤟

Don't forget to use your thumb, too.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
  1. Knees towards stomach, any position
  2. Incredible endurance
[–] ghen@sh.itjust.works 2 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

I got number two in spades but my wife hates it.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago

Not everybody is into poop.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago

did you know that you can stop once she runs out of vaginal fluid? It's true!

[–] Nosavingthrow@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Cunnilingus also, somehow, taking 'no' for an answer.

[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Not Wheelbarrow

[–] SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I give them full control and power. I am the opposite in public life, which is interesting I suppose. I tend to seek out those who want such things. That and going back in for round 2 before I leave.