I knew I recognized him from somewhere.

I have no idea who he is, but this is my favorite quote ever, as someone who's both a goth/punk poser and works in cybersecurity.

Keep your condoms behind the books, impress me

My last three books read have been on a Kindle. I am considering dumping all my books because I can fit a whole library on the Kindle and saves so much space in the (very small) house. Have I become unfuckable?

Once I offered to buy John Waters a drink, and the bartender got offended

Edit: at the very idea that John Waters would ever be charged for a drink

Says the man that hasn’t moved homes a lot.

Fuck them book boxes. All hail the public library where you most importantly give the book back!

Well it's kinda hard to fuck the books when they don't exist, so yeah that makes sense

Some people read ebooks, especially if they're in a small apartment

If no books, a well worn library card is a sexy substitute.

what if i've drastically reduced my physical books, but have thousands of epubs?

I like books but its media in a different form. It could be great or it could be trash. The book format says nothing. I'd consider someone who watches the YouTube channel Angela Collier as more educated than someone who has a bookshelf full of Danielle Steel novels.

So my steam library isn't enough hur?

I use the presence books or an e-reader in a home as a barometer for how much have in common with the people in it. I'm not a snob about it, either. I don't care if its Harry Potter or obscure volumes of post-structural literary criticism. Just read, please.

But I can't afford to keep books! They take up a lot of space that requires large rooms with shelves and shit. I can't even afford a decent apartment!

What if I show you my Chinese e-reader with my digital collection of pirated books instead? You like Terry Pratchett?

Sure, the guy has a ton of books in the shelves. But how many mysterious badly sorted storage boxes of books he has? Now that's the real test of character.

Also ask probing questions about how many obsolete programming books he has. It may get awkward but it has to be done.

I think books are cool. Anyone who read books is a cool person and not yet lost to social media addiction. They can still be in the moment with themselves.

I had a period when I could not read a single page in a book because my mind was constantly wanting to use the phone instead. Many people are like that right now.

I have the core rules book, investigator manual, and keeper manual for the Call of Cthulhu TTRPG, does that count?

Looks at hot accountant.

"QuickBooks"

Close enough?

I have books.

Honestly, a bookshelf tells you a lot. Even one messy little stack of books is a green flag.

Only fuck people who make an expensive signal like Jay Gatsby.

I have lots of books and prefer physical media. I've organized them various ways, mostly by author, then by series name and book number (if applicable), then by book title.

I generally prefer mass market format because it's easier to hold, but sometimes a collectible version is too tempting or, in other cases, the mass market option simply isn't available. As a result, my library consists of a wide variety of shapes and sizes of books.

Unfortunately, for assorted reasons, most of my library is in boxes right now. Less unfortunately, I haven't been dating for a long time. However, back when I was dating and my literature was on shelves around my bedroom, sometimes I would bring a partner home and they would complain about my books not being arranged by size or, alternatively, by color.

Of course they could setup their library however they wanted, but I did feel a bit of despair every time I heard this desire for form over function.