this post was submitted on 16 May 2026
260 points (93.6% liked)

Greentext

8296 readers
1134 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
>be me
>19
>autistic khhv
>lonely
>get great idea to work on my people skills
>join a friend finding server
>add foid
>we chat
>shits pretty boring she gives typical one word foid responses
>says shes a history major
>I know how to spice this conversation up 
>I think about asking her the classic would you kill baby Hitler to stop the holocaust?
>but then an even better question dawns upon me
>would you molest baby Hitler to stop the holocaust?
>calls me a freak then blocks me
>hour later I get banned from the discord
>pic related

Staff

We don't need these "jokes" in our server. If you don't know better you present a risk we wish to not allow in our server.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Every time I think i suck at life, someone always comes by and proves I could be worse.

[–] red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com 167 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Terms like "foid" are great in a way, because they make it very easy to identify assholes.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 74 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Definitely offered an abundance of context for their conversational partner’s curt responses. You don’t even need the rebuttal greentext, they’ve already confirmed everything.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] vagrancyand@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Chud Etymology, excerpt from lesson six, Women, or How They Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love Self-Indulgent Misery

Foid <- Femoid <- Root 1: Fem android, implying women have no agency and are simply following society`s programming
               <- Root 2: From Mongoloid, implying women are genetically inferior
               <- Root 3: -oid (derogatory), used in english as a suffix to usually mean "having the likeness of or related to," meant to separate "Women (read: conservative trad-wife type idealized fantasy women)" and the rest of women.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 89 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah that's uh... I mean I'm autistic and I was nowhere near that socially inept at age 19, damn.

Also, because I had to look it up:

khhv = kissless hugless handholdless virgin

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 70 points 2 weeks ago

There's no level of autism that can get you to think that talking about molesting baby Hitler would be a good idea, especially with a girl that anon is presumably trying to impress. There's a reason that anon is on 4chan, and it's not just autism.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] SsxChaos@lemmy.ml 77 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Honestly, pretty sure not even autism causes a question like that to surface..

« be me, say I have autism to excuse my anti-social behaviours and refusing to see my own fault in this situation. Probably because of my higher brain chemistry and women’s fault »

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 25 points 2 weeks ago

“Not even”

Autism is officially the final boss of communication issues

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 35 points 2 weeks ago

behold, the Platonic ideal of the 4chan user

[–] amio@lemmy.world 32 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

While in many ways it's genuinely hard to navigate neurotypical society with all its prejudice, it's also actually relatively easy to just not go there

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

it’s also actually relatively easy to just not go there

Into neurotypical society or broaching baby molestation? Because I’d have a harder time avoiding one than the other, but I won’t judge my experiences as the only correct ones.

[–] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 24 points 2 weeks ago

Anon is ... special. And not in a good way.

[–] a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I'd rather try and give baby Hitler a nice comfortable life with an understanding mentor, so that he never develops the hatred and closemindedness needed for the implementation of the Holocaust.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 8 points 2 weeks ago

I'd let him be, he prevented a worse genocide by giving America the ick of eugrnics.

[–] IronBird@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

don't kill hitler, go further back and kill Alexander the Great

say goodbye to the HRE and all the catholic romaboos that followed

[–] carmo55@lemmy.zip 21 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

Huh. I can't come up with a reason for why molesting baby Hitler feels so much more wrong than killing baby Hitler. You could even make the argument that it's less wrong.

Is it just because of how killing and death is so normalized in all of modern media?

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Typical people deal with rape, murder is far rarer so there’s less “reality” to it. Go to a war torn country and you’d get a different response. Possivly “who is hitler?”

But, more specifically, the kill baby Hitler question already exists in the social ether to be finished through call and respond. Branching into molestation requires recontextualization which pulls us into reality. It’s no longer call and respond, and you’ve just asked someone if they’d molest a baby.

[–] curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 7 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

See for me I don't think killing babies is any more or less appropriate. They are both horrifying questions that I can't understand anyone not being able to say "no" to either question.

If youre back in time you could just work to not create a genocidal piece of shit. Also, this presumes that he was the only problem - there were many other horrible people involved, so there would likely just be another to take his place anyway.

Both questions are just off the charts level wrong to me and worth reporting. Though I bet there were plenty of other things said in the chat which would have also fit this ban message.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

You’re not wrong to feel the way that you do. But I would recommend that you try to understand where others tend to draw the incredibly arbitrary violence line

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Frankly, I don't see how killing baby Hitler is not... extremely obviously morally superior to molesting baby Hitler.

You can kill anybody nearly instantly.

'Molestation' implies... over a signifcant amount of time.

It also implies that this is done in lieu of directly killing baby Hitler.

So you've now generated an even more fucked up Hitler.

Who will... regardless of how their time travel affrcted lifepath plays out... well they'll have been molested. As a core memory.

That... seems to me to be less moral, causes more Hitler-suffering, unnecessarily.

You've minimized total suffering, via killing baby Hitler.


... this is all assuming that just... doing either of these things somehow results in Hitler not coming to power, WW2 doesn't happen, holocaust doesn't happen.

Frankly I also do not see anything near a guaranteed causality to 'molesting baby Hitler' -> 'somehow WW2 does not happen'.

Whereas it is at least semi-plausible that killing baby Hitler at least could result in ww2/holocaust not happening... I guess the ... Strasserists just stay in control of the Nazis? And do not have a strangely charismatic firebrand to massively expand the movement?

So it also just seems very impractical, unlikely that molesting baby Hitler would achieve the presumably desired aim.

And it also assumes that these are your only two possible actions.

Of course the entire thing is ludicrous is the sense of hinging on perfect foreknowledge, and time travel, which is fundamentally paradoxical, and/or results quantum suicide/immortality type nonsense, and/or in the Red Alert timeline.

Oh god, and we essentially have to assume that this will be the only possible instance of time travel that ever happens, otherwise we potentially get into a kind of battling time travellers scenario ala whatever the fuck the Terminator series is doing now, and/or just a reality where many people can do time travel.


Why not just do... teleportation, and either kill or molest Trump or Netanyahu, right now?

I think I'd again conclude that telefragging them would be morally superior.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

See this one 4chan creep there is why all those time travelers are shooting everyone who goes to see baby Hitler. We could have just killed baby Hitler in peace with Marx but someone had to and ruin things. Was this SCHOPENHAUER? IT WAS YOU WASN'T YOU SCHOPENHAUER ADMIT IT

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Society disensitises us to the idea of killing bad people, all the movies and TV you watch and games you play will have you kill someone because they're an enemy or a bad person. No media justifies the idea of molesting someone because they're a bad guy.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] FoxyGrandpa@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago

When anon says they're autistic, you better believe them

[–] manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml 16 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Is this supposed to be funny? you're just sharing horrible misogynist shit from a poorly socialised anti-social loser

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 24 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, that's 4chan. Greentext comes from 4chan, what's the issue?

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think the issue is that this one just isn't funny. At least that's my issue.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I mean, it’s funny in the snarky cart narc sort of way, not in the “haha how clever” sort of way. You laugh at, not with.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago

Yes, laughing at bumbling chuds (oxymoron I know) is enjoyable for me. Pretty sure you have a few communities for that as well.

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Would I molest baby Hitler to stop the holocaust?

I mean, probably not?

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

“…I molest baby Hitler to stop the holocaust”

~queenhawlsera@sh.itjust.works

Thank you for your service

[–] MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

We need a quote maker bot for Lemmy.

[–] Magnum@infosec.pub 8 points 2 weeks ago

“[…] I molest baby Hitler to stop the holocaust [...]”

~gullible@sh.itjust.works

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Well, knowing who was really behind 4chan, this is not surprising.

It left a generation of...waste, for us to deal with.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Rather out of topic, but these one-word-repky people just spite me. Like, come on, I'm trying to be your friend, don't come with "hm"!

[–] bountygiver@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Why must every time traveler kill baby hitler? Does no one realize if you raise Hitler right he might not have become a fascist instead?

With this reasoning wouldn't molesting baby Hitler made it worse?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

khhv?
foid?

never mind, found answers in thread.

not autistic, just asstastic.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Nangijala@feddit.dk 7 points 2 weeks ago

I love how he uses autism as a shield for edgy, anti-social behavior.

This phase will be something he either grows out of and later cringe at or he's 45 years old and a lost cause.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 7 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Kind of an easy one.

I would molest baby Hitler if I knew beforehand that it would stop the holocaust. Its disgusting but to save that many lives its above my personal comfort. its a duty to humanity at that point.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 weeks ago

I would molest baby Hitler

~fizz@lemmy.nz

Now everyone will know, for better or worse

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Not everyone is even capable of that.

How the fuck can you reduce everything to a binary operation?

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I dont expect everyone to be capable of it. Im just saying put me in there coach and I can get it done. To save millions of people of course.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago

This comment section is precisely the goldmine that I hoped it would be

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] froufox@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago

absolutely deserved

load more comments
view more: next ›