When you can't escape the ads for it.
movies
A community about movies and cinema.
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- !mediareviews@lemmy.world
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If it's desperate to give me the whole plot in the trailer to try to hook me into watching it.
Movies funded by Germany.
It's always the same type of movie. Either we get some boomer vs. youth plot, a family (+child) with relationship problems or something about the second world war. It's the most boring slop for our aging population you can imagine.
The first three minutes is a mish-mash string of production company logos, and half of them you've never heard of before.
budget blown in the first 5 minutes followed by 85 minutes of people in random uniforms in blank rooms with crappy laptops
If you have a character singing and dancing in the first 5 minutes and it is not produced by Disney, or a musical.
Adam Driver.
Jared Leto
This is a 100% accurate statement
I see your Jared Leto, and raise you an Adam Driver.
You see my FIFA and raise an orange slice? 😅
Every minute over 90 minutes adds to how much a movie sucks exponentially.
I watched Lord of the Rings, which seems to be one long movie broken into pieces, and I don't think it sucks as much as the formula suggests for a 720-min runtime.
When the trailer is just a highlights reel of the entire plot. If the movie was worth watching they would let it speak for itself.
- Netflix lighting
- Generic, Zimmer-stolen OST
- Franchises
- Standard blocking
- Overexposition
- Whedonisms
- More broadly, anything that's been big budget Hollywood for the last 30 years or so.
Whedonisms
What the heck is that? I liked buffy and firefly, so use those as an example if you could.
Yeah, do they mean pre- or post- marvel?
Starring Mark Wahlberg.
The only exception is The Other Guys.
In a world...
Anything where the poster/promo has a man and woman apart but kinda the same each other (grumpy or lustfully). Relationship waffle made into movies is the most boring looking crap. It usually has a 3-5 word little like ‘you said forever’ or ‘beneath the elderflower moon’
"you've got mail"?
"When Harry met Sally"?
It’s more the newer stuff. Netflix style stuff.
Opening exposition that involves silly names for things ...
There's examples if good exposition (see: the start of Mad Max 2) but anything that starts with shit like
"They came from the skies, mysteriously, the monsters we now call the Xergifaltuns. With their Spiglyzarfix weapons we didn't stand a chance ..."
Yeah, it's going to be rubbish.
Wow first one to say Jared Leto.
Unless I've missed morbin time suddenly becoming popular?
Bladerunner 2049 is great. In that, he plays a self-absorbed sadistic rich asshole. Phenomenal casting if you ask me.
Meh, of course this is all subjective but I wish Jared Leto’s character wasn’t there in Bladerunner 2049. The first Bladerunner worked so well precisely because there was no real baddie. Everyone had reasons, a story, anguish, frustrations, internal turmoil. Jared Leto was standard issue evil mastermind creep.
Two character immediately infordumping to each other as if that’s how humans normally communicate.
“Are you ready? This is going to be a hard job. As you know, they’ve tightened security but we got a man on the inside. As long as does his job then it’s smooth sailing.”
“I was born ready. Eveeything will be fine as long as the shipment is on time. As you know, we put a tracker on the lead car and I can watch exactly where it is from this device in real-time.”
Agreed, this reads to me like the whole introduction hit the cutting room floor
Two character immediately infordumping to each other as if that’s how humans normally communicate.
How dare you besmirch The Princess Bride!
Unfortunately for too long now: “A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far Far Away”
Directed by:
- Uwe Boll
- Michael Bay
If you see this logo:

The company is the king of what used to be called Direct To Video. Now it is all Direct to Streaming.
Don't forget Adam Sandler
Only if it's a Happy Gilmore production. If he's acting in someone else's movie, he can be a great actor.
Directed by JJ Abrams
Oversaturated marketing campaign and overly bloated cast are the two big red flags for me.
Both are indicative that the budget for the movie was not put towards the actual content of the film but about trying to pull in the largest demographics of people.
If the only thing promoting the movie is it's politics, or controversy over its politics, that means the rest of the movie isn't very interesting, otherwise that's what people would be talking about.
This is a very lazy observation, but for a US production, if it’s released in the US first it’s often a sign they’re trying to get the opening weekend without many reviews available to dissuade attendance.
If it’s actually a good film, it’ll open in a foreign region a week or two before the US so they can use those reviews in promotion.
More than five 'executive producers.'