Programmer Humor

Management

Pray to the Omnissiah and light some candles.

Should have checked the blame before running clang-format himself.

Man past me should have done a better job

//Crappy hack to make this work immediately so management will stop breathing down my neck

Oh wait nevermind lol

Been writing the same software for 20+ years now, don't even need git blame to figure out what asshole wrote this shit.

I love that they called it "blame" lol. They knew what it would be used for.

That exact chain of events happened to me at my last job and I audibly laughed realising it was my own code. To my own credit though, it was a file I had written four years prior which at that point was more than half my whole career in the past

Sometimes you don't even recognize your own trash, 6 weeks later.

These days I see so much AI slop that my reaction when I see code I hand-wrote myself is "hey, that's pretty good".

My team's code is great, but we use a lot of shared code written by other teams, with varying levels of quality.

In each of us, not two, but three. Paraphrasing Superfast matt, "that was done by past baahb, and he's an idiot, but it matters more to future baahb, and that guy is an asshole."

I was complaining to my friends about how bad the programming was on a project I was wrapping up and then they asked, "Isn't this a personal hobby project?" yes it is.

I like to structure my comments as song parodies and see if anyone notices.

"Is this a real object, or just an interface?

This gets caught in a pipeline, no escape from transformations.

Any way the data goes doesn't really matter to this service.

..."

The worst part is when I leave comments and still wonder wtf I was thinking.

That comes with experience. I rarely find things I wrote anymore where I could add or remove a comment.

Sometimes one does something in a certain way (which would otherwise be a shit way to do it) for very good reasons which are external to the code, be they requirements related, external upstream or downstream systems or due to existing system limitations or deployment environment.

More than a decade ago, I learned that even if one isn't at all prone to put comments in the code, you should add comments for such reasons in that quirky code: months or years later that will yield exactly the reaction of this meme when you or somebody else sees that code (whilst you might remember why you did, somebody else will certainly not)

Maybe even more importantly, it allows other people to actually remove that crap if the reasons behind it don't apply anymore, which they would otherwise not do because they would be fearful that the hacked-together pile of crap was needed for some reason elsewhere they were not aware of so they could not risk refactor it - most long lived codebases out there are riddled with crap which had pretty good reasons to be there back when it was done but it doesn't anymore, but which newer people can't just remove until they've gained a full understanding of the whole code base and how it's wired to the rest (and, even then, there's a risk that the reason is a requirement and if they just remove that code it breaks something that the users expect).

Even if you're the kind of coder that thinks that "the code is self explanatory" (something which, by the way, betrays a lack of experience in the full life-cycle of software that has been in production for years and been worked on by several people) do your future self and others a favor by explaining the choices derived from external reasons ("Why has the auto engineer chosen to put the steering wheel in a British car on the right side?") that led to code design which is NOT explainable by purely internal or good design or coding reasons.

(Or at least make it stupidly clear in the appropriate level of tests, which normally is requirements testing or integration testing)

If you're really good and working in a proper professional environment (most programmer aren't), consider tracing things back to the entries in the software requirements document, use cases or even elements of an use case, at least for the "quirky" choices.

But it would work beautifully, if it would work.