ACKSHUALLY that's not how evolution works.
It's not a linear process with the goal of developing intelligence.
It's a linear process with the goal of developing crabs.
this post was submitted on 23 May 2026
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all hail crab god
i know it's a joke. but every animal alive is just as evolved as us. that includes apes (which we also are), zebras, fish and earthworms.
I remember reading somewhere that the indigenous people of a SE Asian country believed that orangutans could speak, but chose not to because they would be forced to work if humans found out
This is different but sort of the same energy.
I asked my dad one time "Wouldn't it be awesome if we didn't need to sleep?"
And he go wide eyed with a horrified expression on his face and said "Hell no, can you imagine how much they'd make you work??"
I feel like even if that was untrue in the past, itβs definitely not untrue today
it's a good myth. i like that the tooth fairy is a raccoon. i'm not sure why. i just like the image of it. got the right size hands.
OooOok
Apes are constantly changing, including humans. How fit the survivors are now that Humanity has fucked everything up is questionable.
Iβm gonna stop working and hope thatβs a survival trait.
Narrator: It wasn't
They didn't. They keep evolving different way than human. Ape evolution is slow. We can't see it due to our preception of time. They just seem to exist as is and the gene pool is quite narrow.
nah man it's cause they peaked
The human/gorilla common ancestor walked upright on two feet. Humans kept it, gorillas evolved towards foot/knuckle walking.
some of us humans (such as me) are heading back toward knuckle walking
Video or it didn't happen
no need. I have a recumbent tricycle and used to snowboard. i'm literally a knuckle dragger
Now I definitely need a video for that recumbent tricycle
So you know how it feels weird showing someone an unfinished poem or whatever? I haven't got the fenders on my bike yet. They're just sitting there. Have been for a year. I gotta figure out how to install them (long story. Well okay not really they fit street tires but the dude I bought the bike from put these fancy tires with cool sidewalls on and they are too big. It's an orange bike and the tires are orange. I'll put the damn fenders on when I get new damn stupid fucking boring tires)
:(
i have a good relationship with my local bike shoppΓ© (they deserve the Γ©) and i'm willing to pay them the markup to find tires that fit that are cool and have flames on the sidewalls or whatever, but like, not until these ones are done. reduce reuse rebullshit y'know
WE are apes too, so they did evolve and have to go to work.
so like divergent evolution. there was a common ancestor. we evolved to go to work. they were smart and evolved to be communal banana eating tree peoples. fucking geniuses.
not how evolution works.
But you do
They didn't stop evolving. Neither did humans.
Some humans did
[Morbo voice] Evolution does not work that way!
they did not "stop evolving", thats not how it works
The smartest thing I ever heard about evolution: βItβs rolling dice and keeping the sixes.β There is neither a goal, nor a peak. Evolution is a load of completely random mutations. The ones that help a species to survive in their specific environment are βkeptβ.
Also oftentimes, stuff that was kept because it makes thing possible, turns out to be useful for completly different thing Fingers helping apes climb, but they also allowed the use of tools.
It's worth pointing out that evolution sometimes will just randomly evolve traits that don't really help a creature survive more, it just doesn't make it worse at surviving.
i want to point out sickle cell anemia.
if you have it, life is hard. pre-modern-medicine you died young. however if you are just a carrier (you have to carry two recessive genes to have the disease, but if you only have one you're a carrier. i think it's recessive, i learned this 20 years ago) you have remarkable resistance to malaria.
life is funny that way.
I mean, DNA does have regulatory and feedback mechanisms. Some of which we don't even understand yet.
I find "it's always just patches" from software engineering more fitting.
Without referencing H. G. Wells' The Time Machine or species of the Homo genus aside from Sapiens, describe what you think it would look like after humans split into two new clades.
Not like pale humans with brain mass exposed at least
There's proof that we still select for more gracility, despite our bones already being close to as thin as they can, without getting blood amenia. So, maybe more elf-like.
Or, if we fuck it up and devastate earth with a nuclear war, like the disfigured small "aliens" in Blake and Mortimer, with additional "filters" in the nose and so on.
I would say, from all Apes on earth, we are the only ones who are working 8 hours for living.
They didn't stop evolving. They just evolved better.
Return to monkey!
Ape together make union!
The real question is what was the point in evolving if they were just going to evolve into morons like whoever made this.
Stone age bonobo