Ask Lemmy

Installing Linux turned my life towards computers and now I'm doing a compsci degree

In grade 12 i took calculus instead of an easy A in art class, i figured it might be useful if i went into engineering which i was vaguely interested in at the time and it helped when i did actually take calc in university

Positively impact? Not much that I'm aware of. Negatively impact? I mean the bullying caused so mental mental damage that it's still affecting me and making life harder 13 years later. I'm now getting help from a therapist and have been for the past year, but the road to normalcy is long and rough.

Does forgiving my ex for cheating on me count? I think I wouldn't be so socially unhealthy if I stood up for what I believed in.

None. Every year at school was so boring I forgot what happened, but I don't care since I had to learn everything on my own way after it happened.

I resolved to go to college out of state. I did and it went well.

Can't think of any offhand. Until college I pretty much just coasted along doing what was expected of me. Didn't make any mold-breaking decisions until my 20s.

Probably most of them, at least in small "butterfly effect" ways. But mostly, I paid attention in class and remember how to think without having to have answers spoon fed to me. So many people I work with, of a variety of age groups, just seem to lack that skill.

You mentioned home economics, and I only had to take one semester as a required elective (yes, you read that right) and just kind of coasted through it. While I didn't think much of it at the time, but I appreciate knowing how to use a sewing kit to make small repairs. I've patched several holes in my favorite "lounging around the house" robe and extended its life probably 3 times.

I didn't start getting stoned out of my mind until my late 30s so I guess my brain developed normally.

Go me.

The things you THOUGHT were the most important, never matter at all, but everything that you considered background noise (school, family, jobs, morals and values) that shit will determine EVERYTHING that happens after high school.

The elective classes I chose played a huge part in who I became. More so than friendships or cringey moments or anything that happened in the mandatory classes.

I took home ec and made crappy fried rice and sewed an apron with the pattern upside down. I thought it was lame at the time. Today I cook every day and I can sew well enough to fix things. They are ridiculously valuable skills.

I took electronics and made a dumb little siren that pitched up and down when you held down a button. Once every couple of years, I need some simple bit of electronics and I design a circuit board, etch it onto copper, and solder on some components. If I hadn’t chosen that elective classes, I’d think that sort of thing was super advanced.

The hilariously basic “IT” class (I made a PowerPoint slideshow with animation and fart sound effects) is probably responsible for me having a career in software development.

I had to choose an elective in 9th grade. Nothing looked interesting except for drafting, but I sucked at drawing. I took the drafting class.

Now it's ~25 years later and I can go around town and point out the buildings I had a hand in designing.

I chose languages instead of the science side because I was told to do so because I was a girl. So now I'm an unemployed translator instead of a doctor.

The decisions I made in high school were things like to take AP classes(I started college with enough credits to be a junior, so instead of studying I partied and ended up finishing late, so I guess that decision didn't help me out), to read books(this one helped a ton, I was a voracious reader all my life and I can tell the difference against people who don't read. I still read today and I'm pretty sure it's much easier now), to play basketball (I have always been in better shape that my peers and I've maintained that into my late 30s).

The decisions I made like who to date, kinda still affect me today. I definitely didn't chase after girls who there was a mutual interest, but rather girls who were "easy" targets for me. This decision has haunted my dating life. It took me nearly a decade of work to undo the damage of this habit. I am engaged now, but man I made it so much harder for myself.

The friends I chose in high school are a mixed bag. I am still friends with them to this day and for that I am very grateful. But at the same time, we all went through dramatic changes in viewpoints, politics. But a lot of the people I hung out with in high school I don't even talk to anymore.

I spent the entirety of my high school years dating one girl, at the time I was in the thick of things and didn't realize it, but it wasn't until we broke up that I realized how disfunctional we/she were and made me realize that my life with her was the exact opposite of everything I wanted out of life.

I spent five years with her and was on a fast track to a very different life, and I hopped off that train at the very last moment.

I refuse to argue with my wife, I try to be compassionate to those around me, strive for financial stability, and take care of my body and mind. All things I didn't have with my first real girlfriend from high school.

Furthermore her constant pregnancy scares (yes I wore protection, every time.) taught me that I have zero urge to be a parent. Every time she told me she might be expecting, but subsequently refused to take a pregnancy test, my entire existence was filled with dread. I couldn't contemplate a single possibility where having a child resulted in anything good.

That might be my biggest visible 'scar' from those days the circumstances of my life and finances are drastically different, but that revelation remains consistent.

Having an abortion. It was probably the one good decision I made for several years, and the only one not informed by chaos and despair. I mourned on the day for years, but have had zero regrets.

Declining an ADHD-evaluation. I didn't think having another diagnosis would help, nor understand the symptoms enough to think I had it, and thought it would only work against me because of the stigma (certain jobs, licenses etc). This is probably the one I regret the most. It could have changed so many of the other choices.

Those are probably the ones that single handedly would have impacted my life the most if made different.