a bard wears donuts
this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2026
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I played naked frisbee in college one time. I hadn't realized it before, but running with your nuts flopping around is fucking painful. I had to hold them with one hand which is fine when you're playing frisbee, but how the hell did men fight like that with a sword in one hand and a shield on the other arm?
at the time they had swords and shields, they also had decent clothes. but you can look up how indigenous tribes deal with it. afair they also come up with something to hold their balls, or even put their dicks in a hard case (like a thick piece of bamboo) to protect it from the penis fish
They didn't do it naked
Favorite quote of the day
Why are these men walking through crowds naked? Was this a common issue in Sun Tzu's time???
Probably, but then some of those men wouldnt have balls to cover anyway.
legitimately not all of ours do either
It is very difficult to accurately track the source of a quote on the internet." Abraham Lincoln
"I said that!" - Michael Scott
A confident man covers neither and walks.
A stylish man moonwalks.
"Don't you see my clothes? Then you either must be a fool or too incompetent!"
Hands on hips, shaking the money makers
🚁
I see you've met Mr. Wang Hung Lo
I knew it sounded familiar: In Shadow Warrior the one you control is called Lo Wang and the main enemy his brother Hung Lo.
Tbf Shadow Warrior is explicitly trying to be Blood with more dick jokes.
We Tu Lo
Smiling, shaking hands, nodding, pointing, like he's Gordon Ramsay. Wait, that IS Gordon Ramsay!
Just sauntering around, enjoying life.
Unless the point is to avoid getting kicked in the balls without one's armor on. Then, it makes sense to cover your face, so your enemies don't recognize you.
Nah, I'm okay with getting hit in the face if the only other option to get hit are my balls. Not sure covering my face would even mask my identity to people who already would recognize me.
"oh shit! Is that Tim?"
"With a rats nest like that, it has to be."
"Hey Tim, a wise man trims his bush once in a while!"
"Jesus Christ. Is that a Cheeto?"
"Besides, in this town, more people would recognize me by what's down there than what's up here 😏"
~ Things I would say if I wasn't such an NPC.
Man who walks on his hands will have crack up
Man who walks in front of bus gets tired, man who walks behind bus gets exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
I learn something new everyday
That wise man is going to run into a lot of people and things with his exposed balls (because he can't see where he is going with his face covered in case that wasn't clear)
Gotta give the boys some support when you get up to speed.
A red hot chili man puts a sock on his noodle and crosses the road
eric forman, wise beyond his years.
"Have you heard the tale of Darth Pendulous the Wise?"
I heard this many years ago in a different context, as a joke of sorts.
"If you came out of a shower naked holding only a wash cloth, and there were people in the room unexpectedly, which part would you cover?"
"My face."