I want a coffee with a short skirt and a loooooooooooooooong jacket.
this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2026
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Whoa...imma go listen to some Cake
I got to see them at Austin City Limits one year. It turned me into a lifelong Cake fan.
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You’re looking for amphetamines, I think
Intravenous methamphetamine for that good good.
Yeah but ain't none of my usual contacts holdin', ya know?
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Coffee should taste good. Why hate on coffee that tastes good? It's not even hard to find.
this. it's not that hard to make a coffee that is both strong and tastes good.
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I'll take that cocoa and cherry one then, if you're not having it.
Caffeine content probably the same. I'll take the one that doesn't taste like chalky dirt.
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Black as midnight, on a moonless night.
I don't understand... can it not do that while also tasting good? Is that not exactly what good coffee is supposed to be?
Of course it can, but then we wouldn’t have a shitpost.
People who drink mud for tough guy points are cringe.
What about the people that make it for themselves because they just like it that way?
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Hard disagree. I am a weak eepy little boy and I need a strong, girthy kick in the ass to start my day. Anything less won't do
ITT: Folks who don't know a light roast has more caffeine than dark, and muddier coffee does not equate to more caffeine.
Performative declarations that things people enjoy are cringe is also cringe.
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Caffeine is very slightly negatively correlated with darkness of the roast. Dark roasts tend to have less caffeine than light roasts.
Also, drip/pourover/percolator/press coffee tends to have more caffeine per serving than espresso-based drinks. The longer steep time extracts more of the caffeine, and serving sizes tend to just be so much larger to overcome the higher caffeine per unit volume of espresso.
So in reality, the lighter pourover coffee where you have the roaster or barista talking about tasting notes tends to be higher caffeine than the dark, densely brewed bitter stuff.
Basically this, although from what I remember the caffeine difference between light and dark roast is only about 2%.
It is also worth noting that for most people (due to the standard western diet), their daily coffee is one of the few appreciable sources of polyphenols they're likely to get, and lighter roasts are a better source of that as well.
Aaaand if that weren't enough, dairy cancels out the health benefits of coffee by reducing bioavailability.
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For context I'm the "at the fourth or fifth energy drink I can start to feel it" type, and their Trioxin coffee beans made me twitch after a pint
The two are not mutually exclusive. Just drink stovetop espresso made from decent beans.
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So you want it to be whiskey?
Nah, just Irish.
What you get: coffee that walks into your colon, flips a table over, and says, "Get up. We have responsibilities."
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AND has hints of cherry and cocoa. Why not both?
thats called meth
you can buy 200mg caffeine caps for that
I like my coffee like I like my women. Cold and bitter.
I like my coffee like I like my women: completely devoid of STDs.
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Is it so bad to have both?
I mean plenty of caffeine AND a good flavor without .25 lbs of sugar and 50% half and half is pretty nice...
Yeah I felt that way when I was younger, now I want caffeine AND flavor.
I used to feal that way when I was younger, now I want caffeine, flavor, AND an extra kick from my little flask.
Sure, I felt that way when I was younger. Now I want caffeine, flavor, an extra kick from my little flask, AND a bump of cocaine.
I remember feeling that way when I was younger. Now I want caffeine, flavor, an extra kick from my little flask, a bump of cocaine, AND a blowjob.
Gin, it’s not just for breakfast anymore.
you don't get hints of cherry and grass until you have relinquished the mere desire for caffeine and ascended into true understanding of the bean
I once worked with a Brazilian woman that complained about all the weak office coffee, and said, "I want my coffee so dark and rich I can chew on it."
100% agreed with her on that.
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