this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2026
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Comic Strips

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[–] DaniNatrix@leminal.space 46 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

For anyone confused and making "parenting is hard and parents do their best" apologetics in the comments, this comic portrays long term, systematic child abuse and survivors recognize it immediately. If a parent's "best" involves abuse of any kind, it simply isn't good enough, and no victim owes their abuser a single thing.

For any fellow survivors, I see you and it's not your fault. They made choices when they raised you in a climate of terror, abuse, blame, and cruelty, you had no choice. Leave them to the natural consequences of their choices, your one wild life is your own, don't let them take any more of it than they already have.

[–] RustyNova@lemmy.world 290 points 3 days ago (11 children)

There is no taking. By having a child you automatically give to him a lifetime of support. That's your role as a parent. Children are not your slaves. If you don't want to accept that, don't have children.

[–] NoSpotOfGround@lemmy.world 59 points 3 days ago (54 children)

My opinion also, but in a slightly darker radical tone that I never share otherwise: bringing someone into this world of suffering is a misguided act of unconscious selfishness and whoever does so owes all available effort to reduce that suffering. In practice, no one is able to acquit themselves of this debt, which is why I hope I never have kids...

[–] Cock_Inspecting_Asexual@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

that just sounds like anti-natalism and those people kinda weird me out

I think it's exactly that, although that's a name I've only learned of recently... Sorry about the weirding out. I can understand how it sounds when it's not a conclusion you've reached on your own already.

[–] Zarobi@aussie.zone 45 points 3 days ago (9 children)

That's a very nihilistic view that implies existence is not worth anything. Personally, I believe that existing is actually beautiful and worth experiencing, even if it sucks sometimes and has inherit suffering. Otherwise we might as well all lie down, stop eating or drinking, and wait for death. Kids don't see the world as suffering and pain β€” they enjoy every moment with unjaded, curious eyes.

[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 32 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Kids don't see the world as suffering and pain β€” they enjoy every moment with unjaded, curious eyes.

Well, you know, ideally

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[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 57 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

When they say "You owe me for ______", ask them: "How much?"

See if you can get them to put a dollar amount on it.

Not that anything particularly useful will come of such a conversation, but it will be kind of funny. Possibly it might even cause them to think a little bit. Maybe you can wrap up the conversation by telling them, "Well, I'm not paying it. You can try to sue me for it."

[–] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 22 points 3 days ago

Yes, from personal experience. They can even keep track of it for years.

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[–] KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca 55 points 2 days ago (5 children)

That's my monster boomer mother. Also include "while you live under MY roof... blah-blah". I spent my early childhood not feeling like I had a home. I was just visiting her house. Nothing was mine. She of course forgets my father paid for that house and she got it for free in the divorce.

She'd also say to me "the world doesn't owe you a living." She only had a high school degree and a year as a "kelly girl". That turned into a secretary job at a community college, which later turned into a better secretary job at a huge aerospace company. After a few years that paid more than enough to live and she got stocks and a pension out of the deal. Her aunt died and left her a fortune (none for me). She's one of those boomers that did the bare minimum in life, sits on a pile of free cash, free house, retired early, and complains about people on welfare or "damn government handouts". Meanwhile she has never contributed anything of value to society, never volunteers, never donates to charity. She's a fucking leach.

Oh yeah. When parents got divorced, she got primary custody of me. She was so insane, I ended up moving to my fathers house when I was 10. My father continued to pay her child support to stop her from filing a complaint with the court about me living with him (He was chill and figured it was the easy way to deal with her). So add that to the list of free money to her.

Anyway, now she's old, fat, stupid, with no friends and will die alone. I actually expect her to die in the house alone and they'll find her weeks later after her cat has chewed out chunks of her. LOL. Good kitty.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago

This makes me feel bad for the cat.

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[–] starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)
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[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 106 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (18 children)

You can't play football, it's too dangerous!

You can't take a martial arts class, it's dangerous and too expensive!

You can't get a drum kit, it's too loud and too expensive!

You can't have guitar lessons, it's too expensive and too loud!

Never leave this neighborhood it's too dangerous!

15 years later

Why do you sit inside all day!?! Get a hobby!

[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Boomers and Gen X were heavily conditioned by the wave of crimes and news of serial killers. So it's understandable why they have been overprotective.

[–] lemonbun@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

seriously my mom would tell us about all the rapes happening on the daily. wasn't till I could comprehend basic statistics did I realize how many screws she had loose.

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[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 57 points 3 days ago (6 children)

My parents gave as much as they could. I never thought it was enough when I was a kid. Now that I'm in my forties, I know just how much that was.

I come from work tired as fuck and I know my old man was the same way, but he still found time to take me to the playground and then taught me math and English every night. My mom did the exact same but there was always a lunch and a dinner cooked for my ungrateful ass.

Through it all, they always loved me and said they were proud of me.

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[–] bridgeburner@lemmy.world 49 points 3 days ago (3 children)

It's not like I asked to be born, jeez. That's like deciding to get a dog and then be surprised that it actually takes work to care of it.

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 38 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I think the Raised By Narcissists group needs more activity. This was my childhood fer shurr.

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[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 33 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Cut toxic people out of your life. No matter who it is. Period.

Simple best rule for a happier life.

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 15 points 3 days ago (4 children)

OK but what if you're 6 and the toxic people are your parents?

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Go into the world, learn a trade and make a man out of yourself. There's no rule that says a steel worker, a deep sea welder or an HVAC repairman can't be six. /s

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[–] WereCat@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

When I was 6 I was already 7

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[–] BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That's pretty much every narcissist's view of having kids. That you owe them something for just making you exist.

Exactly, parents owe the children they bring into this world a safe and happy childhood, the child owes the parent nothing....nothing.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 31 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I once told my mother i didn't owe her shit for getting drunk and horny on NYE (i'm an early sept baby)

....hilarity did not ensue

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[–] Lumisal@lemmy.world 61 points 3 days ago (1 children)

She never got over him stealing Blobby

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[–] Stupidmanager@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I have never felt more connected to a comic, ever.

You had a pet blobfish too?

[–] criss_cross@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

How did you interview my mother to make this comic?

[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 54 points 3 days ago (3 children)

When ya comin' home son?

I don't know when, but we'll get together then.

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[–] LittleBorat3@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago (5 children)

"Children in Africa are dying, doesn't this make you more grateful?" -No...

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[–] obey@lemmy.wtf 33 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Imagine they bring you to this suffering planet against your will and then give you this bullshit. Wow just wow 🀩

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[–] FukOui@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 days ago

I love my parents but my relationship with them is complicated. This hits hard

[–] diemartin@sh.itjust.works 43 points 3 days ago (6 children)

Not my mother, but my father.

He spent literally all my childhood "working" 16 hour shifts (not because he needed to) while neglecting his kids, and tries to solve all our problems with money instead of, you know, actually listening and supporting his kids emotionally, and now asks why none of us visit him.

/rant

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[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 24 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Both of my grandfathers were horrible, and then largely absent. When each of them died, I managed a shrug and a mild bit of interest in learning more about them from their obituaries than they had ever shared with me over my entire life. My parents both show signs of generational trauma. They did their best with me, and I give them each passing grades, somewhat elevated by the fact that they got divorced when I don't remember, rather than sticking it out in a malfunctional marriage and no doubt allowing me to get caught in the crossfire. Even for all of that, I recognize in myself some of the echoes of what was done to them. I've done therapy and I've resolved to make sure my kid knows that, even if we sometimes argue or have to tell her things she doesn't want to hear, that no matter what we'll always love and cherish her.

Try to live your life in such a way that, when you die, the people you leave behind can manage more of an emotional reaction than a shrug and moving on with their day.

[–] MrRandom@lemmy.zip 27 points 3 days ago (13 children)
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[–] mister_universe@lemmy.zip 27 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Unfortunately some people are like that.

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[–] BoosBeau@lemmy.world 26 points 3 days ago

"Do you want me to give you something to cry about?"

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