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"getting back at someone" and fantasies about same never leads to healing, which is what you ultimately need. in fact it usually makes things a LOT worse.
When my ex wife burned the family and marriage to the ground, I was wrecked. About a year later, I started writing a story about solving the mystery of her "perfect crime" murder. Plot twist: the detective (me) did it!
I realized I was reliving the pain over and over again during the process. After a while, I gave up and moved on from that. Now I could go back to it as a funny project.
I have had a very hard time living by some of the wise nuggets I've learned, but some of the truest happiness and peace has derived from letting go and -- as half-assed as it was at first -- forgiving my ex.
Now I try my best to live in the present. The last and the future are untouchable to me. Only the now matters, and in the now, those who have hurt me don't matter to me. Only the healing and moving on.
Whatever you decide -- whether it's to try to find closure in mock confrontations or never thinking of them again -- I hope you find the best path for you to a lasting peace. ❤️
Thank you for sharing! What an inspiring story! 🩷 I know how anger and hate can be detrimental to a person, so I won't easily give in to any of that. 💪
Also, did you have a Watson, or were you working the case alone? 😃
I think that violent fantasies are a common (perhaps even ubiquitous?) psychological phenomenon. The most frequent manifestation in my experience is what I call "mind fights" (a term I have shamelessly stolen).
A mind fight is a past situation, or sometimes an invented one, but with a simple change: I fight my agitator. It's always epic, and I always win. It's great! And probably bad for me; I dunno.
On a more serious note, it greatly upsets me that people hurt you. I don't know you super personally, but you seem like a really cool gi—are you a girl? Lemme check your bi—OMG Silmarillion reference‽‽‽ Sorry, got distracted :3
Serious mode again. You seem really cool, and I would beat up anyone who hurt you <3
This is the sweetest comment ever 🥲🩵🍓you are an exceptionally fine strawberry enjoyer!!! 🩷
My therapist told me me, that defeating your aggressors and adversaries post trauma can be healing. One time, she made me relive a particularly traumatic event and when we - or I? - was done replaying the scene, she said quietly but firmly, "if I had been there, I would have told everybody that bullying is not acceptable and that they have to apologize". I know it seems trivial, but I cried like a baby, seriously. 🤣😭 And afterwards, I have been able to feel - and to know - that I'm to blame for having been bullied. 🥰
I was assigned male at birth. Right now, I don't know. I have always been uneasy in boyish environments. I finally got a referral to a clinic where I'll be tested to see if I'm eligible for hormone treatment, wigs, voice training, the works - tax funded. We'll see.
Funny story: I didn't want to dox myself in any way - which I since have done anyway to some extent in comments and posts LOL - so I chose to only write quotes and simple values (?) in the bio. And YES Silmarillion 😍 I read it about fifteen years ago - fuck me - and now I'm listen to an audio book version. 😊 I hope I didn't offend you by insulting Fëanor xD
Yeah, you're not to blame for the abuse you've suffered. I'm bot sure how to phrase this... I'm glad you liked my comment? I'm glad that it provided at least some emotional comfort of some sort, and perhaps some delight <3
Also you live in such an awesome place if they're gonna pay for hormones, wigs, voice training, etc. I lowkey want to move there now lol. Where I live, the government basically won't pay for any of it :/
Yeah, not doxing oneself while also participating socially online is very difficult. Hence, I have no proper name on here. Hmm... folks could call me Strawby, Berry, Joy, 42, or maybe other things. I'll have to think about this.
Oh, and don't worry; I think Fëanor is a total jerk. I cannot forgive the kinslaying.