It’s not the slow walkers. It’s the aisle blockers.

How are you so fucking self absorbed you can’t see that you’re blocking the aisle?

I don't let it get to me.

I usually go through the store following the same path, picking up the same items every week. If something is blocking the way, I'll skip the aisle and come back to it. Every time, when I come back, the aisle is clear.

No one owes me anything. They don't owe me walking faster, or staying out of the aisle, or whatever other little things people bitch about because apparently they've run out of important things to bitch about. Life should be so good for all of us.

I'll be patient most of the time, but this isn't a one way street. The other person should also have situational awareness to make room, not block the entire path, not jackknife their cart. Also my desire to go fast is equally as valid as their desire to meander / dilly dally. As long as I'm not running them over there is nothing wrong with shopping at my pace, saying excuse me, or passing them when they are taking too long.

Skip one aisle and come back.

Start at the end and go the opposite direction you normally would.

Park off to the side and check your phone for a minute.

It's really not hard to not be an asshole. Some of y'all just weren't raised right.

You don't realise how widely people can have conversations til you visit the grocery store. Wide. Conversations.

I've long legs and I walk fast, if I had to get angry for every person slower than me I'd be dead already. Just use another path and leave people walk at their conformable speed.

They are perfectly welcome to walk at whatever speed they prefer …. As long as they allow me the same courtesy

It’s very rare to find a grocery with aisles less than three carts wide so you need an extreme lack of self-awareness to become an obstruction. I’m patient with slowness, but why should I be patient with obstructions: they chose to obstruct, not just go at their own speed. They chose to be rude to everyone else

I must subconsciously go to the supermarket when there are fewer people there. Because the few times I have to go during peak hours I ask myself why there are suddenly so many people.

You know folks, there are things you can do to communicate that you need to get by…

Things like:

• Asking nicely in a heavy cowboy voice.
• Wearing a diaper over your denim shorts.
• Tasmanian Devil impressions.

I’m in and out of there in 5 minutes every time!

So true. Just the other day I went to the supermarket before noon (which I rarely do) and ... well, let's say my appreciation for covid and heatwaves went up considerably!

No that's fine. I'm tired and not moving fast either.

wat?