I posted this a long time ago. Got sent Cody's Labs list, and it was very different. He has licked so many...
this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2026
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The goat
Thats a lot of alkali metals to have had in your mouth. I thought they all explode/burn when in contact with water. And I am pretty sure the inside of a mouth is wet
Good luck finding enough Astatine to lick. It's the rarest naturally-occurring element on earth. It's estimated there is less than 30 grams in earth's crust at any given time.
Did anyone ever find any?
Yes, but we still don't know its bulk properties.
Everything that isn't green should be 'definitely not' and several green ones are questionable
The particular form the element is in also matters a lot.
Take helium, for example. Is it really possible to 'lick' a gas? I'd say it's not. You could lick liquid helium, though ... and you really shouldn't, unless you enjoy severe frostbite on your tongue.
What? No. The Leidenfrost effect would apply. You could pour a few milliliters of liquid helium over your tongue and it would boil on contact. You just need to make sure to minimize total contact time.
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Na: bad. Cl: bad. NaCl: amazing!
If you can get your tongue inside the machinery they use at Lawrence Livermore to create a split-second instance of some rare Earth actinide, you deserve to lick it.
It's 100% accurate. But just in case, could you have the map on you when you go around licking things? The resultant news article will be way funnier that way.
Sure! I'll keep that in mind for my next lickpacking tour across Europe.
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Some of the purple ones have a time limit to lick them before you die that starts once you enter the room they are kept. You'll still die after licking them, but you would at least have licked it if you're quick.
So those are "yes, but hurry"?
jots down in notebook
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I'm glad someone listened to me a couple years back. The first comment I ever made on Lemmy was on the original version of this, pointing out that Magnesium was DEFINITELY fine to lick.
If it's got a nice oxide layer on the outside, fine. Otherwise it's fairly reactive.
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It’s really funny, yesterday I saw a dude walk around with a T-shirt with exactly this periodic table and thought it was hilarious and now I find this
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Okay if you think licking lead and uranium is maybe not a good idea then I think you need to reevaluate your decision making skills.
Thank you, I came here to see if it was at least somewhat safe to lick uranium, I don’t have access to it but if I ever did I wouldve tried because that sounds like a badass story to tell at a bar/party
Definitely don't do it.
Yeah that was my standing rule until this chart threw it into question. But thanks for rehardening it
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how can something be 'maybe not a good idea' on a lickability scale but also be used as a medication?
Well, you saw that uranium is colored yellow so...
I wouldn't advise licking calciums:
The chemistry of calcium is that of a typical heavy alkaline earth metal. For example, calcium spontaneously reacts with water more quickly than magnesium but less quickly than strontium to produce calcium hydroxide and hydrogen gas. It also reacts with the oxygen and nitrogen in air to form a mixture of calcium oxide and calcium nitride.[14] When finely divided, it spontaneously burns in air to produce the nitride. Bulk calcium is less reactive: it quickly forms a hydration coating in moist air, but below 30% relative humidity it may be stored indefinitely at room temperature.[15]
Because calcium reacts exothermically with water and acids, calcium metal coming into contact with bodily moisture results in severe corrosive irritation.[59] When swallowed, calcium metal has the same effect on the mouth, oesophagus, and stomach, and can be fatal.[46] However, long-term exposure is not known to have distinct adverse effects.[59]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calcium
Because of vigorous reaction of quicklime with water, quicklime causes severe irritation when inhaled or placed in contact with moist skin or eyes.
So.. I should lick it fast and then hide from the effects under a table?
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Yeah maybe mixing up medicines and giving 11 year old me iodine tincture to drink wasn't the best move
Licking calcium is fine?
I guess if you're okay with the nasty burn...
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If lead is "maybe not a good idea", the rest of these must be really bad ideas. I like that there's still 2 more levels above lead. I assume the second level just explodes or vaporises you instantly or something.
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Licking calcium is a bad idea (it reacts with water). Licking phosphorus is really dependent on its form. Red phosphorus is okay, white phosphorus is a painful death.
If you find enough oganesson to lick, you should get to do it
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