If everywherr ypu go smells like shit you should probably check your own shoes
this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2026
401 points (97.4% liked)
Programmer Humor
32324 readers
508 users here now
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
- No advertisements
- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
Try becoming senator in the USA, it's so good people even keep doing it whilst being brain dead
bevolking
Ok, I see that these letters are next to each other on the keyboard, but ... damn.
Swipe typing on the move with three languages on the keyboard. It leads to this kind of problem. Most of the time I check it, but some get through the cracks
Any day I learn some Dutch is a good day.
In that case, your user name would be 'kippen mevrouw houdt van het leven'
I used to do this. Now they have corps that they outsource background checks for them.
get into secops and start hacking banks.
that's a job, and it pays well even if you suck at it.
The job Mythos is legitimately better at doing than a human because it has a database of techniques a human can't reliably replicate?
Like, yeah, they stole the techniques from humans and the rest are brute forcing but... It can't forget them.
Now, getting a job as a crime guy and tricking idiots into plugging in usbs, that's got a future
In this loop 2 jobs get started and only 1 gets left. Anon is going to get real busy real soon.
Not their problem, collect the check until they notice you're not showing up
No one wants to be a good employer anymore!
Oh boy, do I have just the idea for that!
I did this for a few years. "Oh, you are refusing to approve my vacation? K, I'll just quit"
I didn't do that exactly... but when my boss told me to do overtime during end-of-quarter crunch on a Saturday night shift (Sat 22:00 to Sun 10:00, factory jobs are fun), the next person I spoke to was my family doctor. She put me on a two-week compulsory medical leave with full pay and straight up told me to get a new job. Unfortunately I couldn't help the company meet their quarterly growth targets. The next time I saw my boss, I handed him my resignation papers.
Sure feels nice to live in a country with real labour laws.
I enjoyed the work itself. It was very autism-friendly. Unfortunately some absolute boneheaded decisions by the middle management wankers during the pandemic resulted in a huge backlog of orders, a shortage of parts, and a constant state of short-staffing.
I have not worked since I adopted the "antiwork" philosophy, but I think I'd do the same. I look at leave now as not asking for it, but telling your employer you're not going to be in during x time.
Honest question, how do you afford to live without working?
I’m on disability. It ain’t easy, that’s for sure
Anonny gets jobs really fast, good for him
I feel seen.
I've hated everything I've ever done. Even when i turn my hobbies into a job, I end up hating the hobby AND the job. I am thankful now that I don't have to work, but yeah, I hated every fucking thing.
I'm a school bus driver now and it's great. I get to drive a big Tonka truck around and gaslight children. Sure, I make about 1/6 of what I used to make as a mobile apps programmer, but at least I get good subsidized health insurance and I only work 5 hours a day.
My mother-in-law used to drive a school bus. Now she makes like $250k per year, but she always says the school bus job was when she was happiest.
She's me but in reverse. Benjamin Bussin'.
You can't be this deep in the thread and drop a gem like Benjamin Bussin'. I keep checking back and get frustrated that no one else is upvoting.
The CGI face really creeps me out, what is that from??
Thats Tighten from the movie Megamind.
"Tighten"
Edit: Leaving for posterity, that I forgot that fucker's name was misspelled on purpose.
Megamind
Selfhost, selfemploy