"Why does this sweetener taste kinda like gasoline and makes my teeth numb?"
"Just following orders sir"
this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2026
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"How do you know what gasoline tastes like?"
Somehow the mention of coffee in Voyager made the ship seem instead like an office block on earth that they were cosplaying in. All they needed was a water cooler on the bridge to completely kill the immersion.
That would be the replicator.
Right above Forever Ensign's head are two people shootin' the shit by the replicator.
I can’t unsee it now!
“G’morning Walter. How ‘bout that traffic on deck 12 today!”
EDIT: That exchange would fit seamlessly into an episode of Lower Decks.
Doesn't hurt that he's Badgey.
Have you made one of your "Yep, they were in Star Trek" images about him?
I know I made some sort of reference to him before, but I don't think it was in that format. Something to do later, thanks.
I'm not sure how well-known of an actor he actually is, though. I am definitely biased, as a big fan of 30 Rock, and am very familiar with him.
I bet it would show up on a medical tricorder. Then again, I guess your last glass of water would show up on a medical tricorder.
Aaaaand, yoink
I think the captain might need a fresh pair of knickers.
Heh. Why is "knickers" such a funny word?
Yeah, but before she can even get them on, Picard will have seen everything.
I find myself wondering if it would have been practical to replicate a viable coffee plant seed from a recorded coffee genome, and then grow coffee beans directly in the ship's arboretum (assuming for the sake of argument they had one, or could construct one).
But then you're into how difficult it is to replicate viable coffee growing conditions onboard a ship, and it might not even be more efficient than direct replication anyway.
then grow coffee beans directly in the ship’s arboretum (assuming for the sake of argument they had one, or could construct one)
Voyager definitely had an "aeroponics lab". But I know absolutely nothing about botany/horticulture, so I have no idea whether or not a coffee plant is able to be grown in that kind of environment.
I can’t not read this in SF Debris’ crazy Janeway voice.
When you brew it so strong that it has the viscosity of heavy syrup.
So, maybe just use a real stimulant? Lol
As opposed to fake stimulants like… caffeine and sugar???
Yeah seriously, why waste your time with caffeine when we have Adderall? It makes you way more productive and unlike coffee, gives you a mood boost too.