Pedantry time: I'm not an expert on whisky, but I doubt you could fill a tanker truck that large with just one batch of single malt whisky. If it's more than one batch in the big tank, then by definition it's no longer single malt, but blended whisky. Doesn't hurt the joke any either way, just was my first thought on reading the label on the truck.
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It's clearly a brand.
Single Maltβ’ Brand Blended Whisky, huh? Fun idea. Something tells me that wouldn't fly in Scotland. They take their whisky terminology regulations pretty seriously.
Is the guy Australian or Scottish?
Was gonna say, Nessie got so wasted she woke up on the other side of the planet.
It got so wasted it booked a flight to Australia just to pass out in a hedge.
Next to a castle that looked like Inverness since it reminded it of home.
Haven't we all mate, haven't we all...
It's entirely plausible that an Australian could have emigrated to Scotland and gotten a job there as a groundskeeper near Loch Ness.
Yeah, my brain short-circuited trying to envision a guy saying "crikey" in a Scottish accent. Something like "craykey", I guess.
Not nearly enough swearing
That's not nearly enough whisky for a lake, we need more trucks
Loch Ness is fucking big and holds around 7500000 m3 of water and while no such whiskey barrel truck exists, a large tanker truck can hold around 40m3 of liquid. Let's say it's a super strong whiskey of 60% alcohol content by volume, that leaves us with 24m3 alcohol for the whole lake. That's an alcohol percentage of 0.00032% for the lake. To put that into context, most foods contain a certain amount of alcohol. Beer for example can contain up to 0.5% of alcohol and still be labeled alcohol free. Something like a burger roll might contain over 1% alcohol, an overripe banana might be around 0.5%. So the amount of alcohol in the lake is basically nothing and would be hard to detect even with proper equipment. Therefor the non-existent monster would not have gotten drunk from drinking some of the lake water.
Since we clearly see the monster being drunk af, we must consider another scenario. I would speculate the truck was actually intact when it hit the water. The monster happened to be nearby and heard or felt the impact (does the monster have ears? We do not know). Upon reaching the truck, the monster proceeded to pick it up and drink it shot-gun style. He got so drunk, he forgot to crush the truck on his forehead and just dropped it on the bank.
I further postulate that alcohol isn't a part of the natural environment around the loch and thus the creature has somehow acquired the taste for the drink from humans. A chemical dependency might have formed, leading to severely altered behavior for the creature. It is my hypothesis the creature not only caused the crash of the truck, but has done so more often in the past and will continue to do so in the future.
Further investigation shows the route for the truck makes no sense and went out of its way to drive at that exact road along the loch. The company that owns and operates the truck hasn't altered this inefficient route, even though many such accidents occured. My theory is they allow these incidents to happen because the media attention from these incidents works in favor of the company. Your honor I respectfully submit my statement as evidence of wrong doing on part of the company. They knowingly and willingly allowed the Loch Ness monster to form this alcohol dependency, therefor indirectly causing the accidents and risking the life and well being of my client, the truck driver!
Do we have any idea how alcohol in water affects fish? They aren't just drinking it. They're breathing it, and living in it. I have to imagine a fairly small amount of alcohol in water with fish would dramatically change things. (It'd probably just kill them.)
Still, this amount is nothing. Unless they're right by where this spills, it's so diluted that it doesn't matter.
What if the whiskey spilled and it was close by and it was very tasty? Your calculation only takes into consideration it already being completely spread out across the lake. We need calculations for the diffusion rate too.
It is my hypothesis the creature not only caused the crash of the truck, but has done so more often in the past and will continue to do so in the future.
She does have previous form, although she was on holiday in the Hebrides at the time
The monster happened to be nearby and heard or felt the impact (does the monster have ears? We do not know).
Yes, plesiosaurs have inner ears similar to other aquatic reptiles.
Dude, Nessie doesnβt have a shark fin, back to cryptozoology school with you
Stop with the plastic surgery shamming. You don't even know if it's covering a scar or something.
Plastic surgery addiction would explain why Loch Ness always needs about three fitty
It would also explain why no one has spotted Nessie in a while. They're basically unrecognizable at this point!
That sounds rather similar to Boston's great molasses flood, I guess "storage tank fails and floods area with some kind of food product to deadly effect" is something that's happened a few times throughout history.
