this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2026
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[–] egrets@lemmy.world 78 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

In case anyone's wondering, the response is made up. The editorial that the OP excerpt comes from is also fantastical and totally unsupported by any accounts that I can find, but for the sake of context, it continues:

He buried a quantity of beans in mud, let them remain there for a few weeks, and then retrieved them. He noted their resemblance to human fetuses, thus convincing himself of the intimate relationship between beans and humans. To eat a bean would therefore be akin to eating human flesh. Equally, to crush, smash, or dirty a bean would be to harm a human. Thus the very strict rule to abstain from beans.

Just to restate this, that article is not verifiable or based on reliable accounts, and it cites no sources.

No one really knows why the Pythagoreans didn't eat fava beans. Historical speculation from a few sources includes:

  • farts are bad
  • beans are bad for your health
  • beans cause bad sleep
  • they're basically animals, in the same category as meat and eggs
  • temple mystics advise not to eat them
  • they're the same shape as the universe
  • they're the same shape as genitals
  • they're used to cast votes, and you shouldn't associate with politicians
  • Pythagoras just didn't like them
  • just don't, okay
[–] Zarobi@aussie.zone 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Mediterranean people are often allergic to fava (broad) beans. I have this and am Greek and almost died discovering it

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Explains why I don't see beans in shawarma despite the dish being basically the Middle-Eastern burrito.

[–] cosmos8188@leminal.space 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

they're the same shape as the universe

they're the same shape as genitals

TIL, Im hauling the whole weight of the universe with me.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 days ago

why do you think stuff goes all saggy with age? mere mortals were not meant to carry such burdens

[–] Zizzy@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 days ago

Thank you for the added context

[–] SalmiakDragon@feddit.nu 2 points 2 days ago

He noted their resemblance to human fetuses

Ah yes, the early human fetus, famously very visually distinct from the early fetuses of other mammals. /s

Also, would he even have had access to human fetuses in the first place? More so than other animals' fetuses (since he apparently naturally associated the shape of the bean specifically to human fetuses)? I looked into it a bit, and I have my doubts. Pythagoras (Wikipedia) lived c. 570 – c. 495 BC, hundreds of years before human dissections were a thing in Ancient Greece. His listed main interests do not include anything medicine-adjacent. He did travel, I suppose.

[–] Kraiden@piefed.social 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)
[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

it smelled like what? cHm? cym? cxm?
We will never know

[–] wraekscadu@vargar.org 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Naah G🫟d gets angry if you say c🫟m. /s

[–] A_be_seedy@beehaw.org 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

That c🤑m load you sh🤪t on my screen is purple. You should probably get that checked out.

[–] ToiletFlushShowerScream@piefed.world 31 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This is what people did before the Internet if they weren't drinking or copulating.

[–] OmegaMouse@pawb.social 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Think, drink, fuck, repeat

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 days ago

plow the fields, plow the wife
plow the fields, plow the wife
plow the fields, plow the wife

Truly we haven’t changed much. We think a lot less now though, on the whole.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 days ago

According to Thomas L. Heath (1861–1940), no specific attribution of the theorem to Pythagoras exists in the surviving Greek literature from the five centuries after Pythagoras lived. However, when authors such as Plutarch and Cicero attributed the theorem to Pythagoras, they did so in a way which suggests that the attribution was widely known and undoubted. -- Wikipedia

Schrödinger's Pythagorean theorem.

[–] gandalf_der_13te@feddit.org 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)

thank you for this excellent-quality shitpost.

if i had to guess, the people in antiquity were obsessed with the kidney as the "source of life" or sth. the reason was that the kidneys are around the womb area so they were thought to give off some kind of fluid that makes the child grow or sth. iirc.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I mean they went the wrong direction, but I'd say our body's filtration system is a decent thing to call the "source of life"

[–] LePoisson@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

Honestly, I think you could call almost all of our organs the "source of life" using that barometer. Not to say you're wrong, just that it's kind of crazy how many things have to keep on keeping on inside of us to simply do the bare minimum of staying alive.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 days ago

source of not dying in excruciating pain as the rest of your body collapses form systemic toxicity

[–] Zizzy@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I dont know anything about that but i trust you so im believing it wholeheartedly

[–] gandalf_der_13te@feddit.org 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

source: i read it in a book about antique and medieval mythology and mysticism. so take it with a grain of salt

[–] bad1080@piefed.social 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"people just thought whatever" in complete contra to today...

[–] matlag@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

I was thinkkng the same:
"Earth is flat" (Pythagore knew it wasn't)
"They use chemtrail to turn you [whatever]"
"Give all the money to the rich, it will trickle down!"
"Vaccines don't work"
The list goes on

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

In what world do beans smell like cum?

[–] gray@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 days ago

Ancient greece, probably. Wish I was there...

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 15 points 2 days ago

Great, now that you've shared it on Lemmy we will never hear the end of it

[–] DonkeyStar@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

“Pythagoras didn’t eat meat or beans!” -The Death of Pythagoras

[–] HexesofVexes@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

When you eat enough beans for your cum to smell like beans, you ate too many beans.

[–] Duranie@leminal.space 3 points 2 days ago

I trust Liam to answer this one honestly.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

No fiber? What a fucking loser. I eat beans almost any day and my poop is always soft as silk. Shit you not.

[–] tomenzgg@midwest.social 3 points 2 days ago

Sounds like shit you much, though.

[–] Elgenzay@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] morto@piefed.social 4 points 2 days ago
[–] mcbang2000@piefed.social 2 points 2 days ago

and a real hero

[–] kettuli@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Well, all life has spawned from the same source so technically correct.