this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
386 points (95.3% liked)

Not The Onion

11854 readers
1083 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 21 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 131 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Somewhere out there, a writer is feeling smug as fuck over that headline.

[–] Birdie@thelemmy.club 41 points 7 months ago

As he should. It's pure gold.

[–] Lord_ToRA@lemmy.world 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] csolisr@communities.azkware.net 2 points 7 months ago

Dan must have waited a lifetime to pounce with that pun and dear lord he finally did it

[–] burgermeister@lemm.ee 63 points 7 months ago

That crazy son of a bitch, he did it.

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 53 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] eth0p@iusearchlinux.fyi 47 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I went to one of their concerts, and their lead singer, David Draiman, was one of the most wholesome and honest guys I've ever seen. Funny headline, but I hope he recovers quickly and without any long-term effects.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 12 points 7 months ago

I've got a distant cousin that practically worships the guy, and the band, specifically because he met David a couple of times and was beyond nice.

Also one of the best voices out there imo. David, not my cousin

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 28 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Get up, come on!

You fucker get up!

[–] GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world 25 points 7 months ago

We shouldn't have opened up our hate and let it flow into him 😔

[–] RanchOnPancakes@lemmy.world 21 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Is the lead singer slowly morphing into Phil Collins?

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago

We should all be so lucky

[–] OpenStars@startrek.website 15 points 7 months ago

Do you promise to be a good boy and never do it again?

Why did you have to be such a bitch?

[–] bedrooms@kbin.social 11 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

...down with a sickness

What kind of editor changes "the" to "a" in this instance!?

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 13 points 7 months ago

It's because there's no punishment when we die

[–] GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

Because there's a lot more than one sickness?

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

"This content is not available in your country/region."

[–] Aggravationstation@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I read that as a line from "Down with the Sickness."

Also, I had the same problem. Solved by good ol' 1ft.io

https://1ft.io/proxy?q=http%3A%2F%2Fwho13.com%2Fnews%2Fdisturbed-show-postponed-after-singer-comes-down-with-a-sickness%2F

[–] Caligvla@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 7 months ago

At least he's staying true to his motto.

[–] troyunrau@lemmy.ca 2 points 7 months ago

Mommy issues is not a sickness... Unless it is.