this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2025
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I'm sure one would have a better idea than you whether they're trans or not regardless of clothing.
As described here, calling someone trans when they themselves don't identify that way is problematic, since you are imposing a gender on that person.
Reinforcing gender stereotypes and misgendering others is not the kind of thought that should be shared out loud. Like people might have horrible intrusive thoughts but if and when they recognize them for what they are they will let them pass without acting on or speaking them.
I used to and still on occasion have intrusive thoughts that are transphobic but I know not to speak them because they are hurtful and untrue. You need to do the same with your idea that people are trans because of appearance of clothing, just let the thoughts pass or stuff them down, and not speak them out loud. You wouldn't act on intrusive thoughts you know to be harmful. This isn't much different.
You are, saying that you think people are trans because they'd "go all out n women's clothes" is indeed reinforcing gender stereotypes, and it is misgendering to say that people who don't identify as trans are trans.
You're right, I was too charitable. You don't have intrusive thoughts, but straight up harmful ideas that you openly admit to and act upon, especially since you're still going and haven't gotten the message that what you're doing or saying is uncool and needs to stop.
Just couldn't keep your mouth shut could you.
Don't argue that dressing a certain way makes someone trans or makes them seem trans. This idea blatantly reinforces gender stereotypes because it assumes that a certain threshold of gender non-conformity changes or is indicative of a different gender, this is toxic as fuck.
By the way I dress as feminine or more feminine than the last panel, very often might I add. I am more than certain that I am indeed 100% a boy.
Also before someone says it, yes, one can still be a femboy if they choose to take estrogen. I know femboys who do, they're still boys and will absolutely remind you if you forget or try and insist they aren't. Some might ask how is that possible? Answer, because they identify and call themselves boys. Simple as that. You can't decide someone else's gender for them, no matter the circumstances.
I would like to learn more about this, do they have dysphoria? do they want to be girly all the time or only some of the time? Are they taking E permanently or are they planning on mixing E and T like some nonbinary people do?
sorry if these are too personal, I live in a conservative area and haven't ever seen a femboy IRL, much less talking to one about what it's like, so I don't really understand. Also if you have any resources that you'd recommend me read id be more than happy to look into it :)
edit: to clarify, I'm not the person who was arguing. I just wanted to learn from your experiences while reading the thread
I think it's a little different for each of them, I know some femboys do have dysphoria and take it full time, I also know that some mix it or take lower doses like Nonbinary people do. It's different for each of them, not all femboys are the same, just like not all trans and nonbinary people are the same. How they feel and what's best for each of them depends on the person.
oh ok, I see. Thanks for explaining! :)
It is extremely wrong to say that cross-dressing makes a person trans, and it is offensive to call other people trans who don't identify as such because it is literally misgendering them. Trying to argue that cross-dressing is "under the trans umbrella" is just a roundabout way of trying to say they are trans without directly saying it and you're not fooling anyone with these deceitful tactics.
You like, really need to drop this because you've already been given the hint to stop and you keep going.
I agree with, the post op on this, because look. If a person identifying as one gender is cross dressing to look a certain way, they are not trans just from that because at the end of the day it is just cloths. Also where you say, "You don’t think about how you respond to people’s missteps" you seem to be broadly talking more than just simply cross dressing, but since you didn't say anything specific I won't judge you, but that is suspicious.
It’s not offensive, it’s just incorrect? Someone dressing as a woman but they identify as a man is still a man? They don’t face the same prejudice and discrimination as trans people so they aren’t trans people?
You did get it wrong. The OP, a femboy who posted a meme about femboys, directly told you that you had it wrong.
You're still here arguing, and show no sign of being open to being corrected. Unless that changes soon, your time on this instance is up.
A femboy posted a meme about femboys. You came in and tried to tell him that actually, some of those femboys are trans women based on their appearance.
This was a misstep, but that's OK, because mistakes happen and people's understanding of gender diverse folk is often limited.
He then told you about his direct lived experience as a fem boy that contradicted your opinions. At this point, instead of listening to folk who are talking about their own experiences, you got offended and started arguing.
At this point, you're simply out of line. Arguing with folk about their own experiences, whilst not even sharing those experiences.
This isn't an argument about when it's ok to assume and when it isn't. This is a case of you assuming, being corrected, and then trying to turn it in to a debate.
And to be clear, I'm not simply asking you to stop, I'm asking you to consider what happened, acknowledge you fucked up, and then stop.
I hate to say it but I think that person is a troll, after their last few replies I checked their modlog history and they seem to have engaged in very similar behavior before. The only reason they "stopped" here is because they were given a community ban.
Most likely! Either that or they’re an asshole, and neither is good.
They're definitely an asshole.