this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2026
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[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 12 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (2 children)

They wanted an explanation about why all species are humanoid, mostly because makeup on an actor is cheaper than making unique species. the explanation sucked, no explanation could have worked.

That is like having a whole 3 part episode on why there are no toilets on any federation ships, or why there is sound in space, or why they don't use seatbelts...

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

why there are no toilets on any federation ships

No way, half the time JLP says he'll be in his ready room he means he's heading to the porcelain captain's chair to fire off some earl grey torpedoes.

In the future you can choose to deuce the traditional way or have it beamed directly out of your colon, and Picard loves his photon bombing rituals.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

I've held that theory for years. that due to teleport tech, people no money need toilets, as urine and fecal matter gets teleported out.

And part of Starfleet training involves potty training, where they have to train on how urinate/defecate during away missions.

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 54 minutes ago) (2 children)

Do teleported urine and feces leave vacuum behind? Because that would mean massive cavitation bubbles in both the bladder and the rectum, immediately collapsing with a loud bang and a momentary increase in temperature over 100°C. Plus the organ walls experiencing sudden huge acceleration, either shaking the fuck out of other pelvic organs, or straight up ripping. (Must be fun being between the bladder and the rectum at that moment, and the anus is gonna pucker like it never puckered before.)

The alternative is replacing the feces and urine with something of equal volume and pressure, which most probably means either compressed air or water. This would leave you either with water in your bladder and rectum, or large amount of air in your bladder and rectum, which both are of dubious utility and ill advisement.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 2 points 43 minutes ago

maybe instead of teleporting out the entire contents of a full rectum, you teleport a ml at a time, or basically teleport every tiny bit as it enters the rectum, same with the bladder.

Honestly, teleporter tech is criminally underused in that universe.

can you teleport out co2 from the alveoli and replace with oxygen instead of needing a respirator? imagine 99% of surgeries could be done with teleport tech instead of needing to cut anything.

fuck, maybe that is how Hypospray works, and how it can inject drugs into the bloodstream without hurting the skin or the clothes they are wearing.

There is also the transporter buffer, they can put a lot of stuff in the buffer, why not use it for storage? Or maybe a brig?

One of the Abrahams movie casually made spaceships obsolete by having teleporters that can reach across the galaxy.

And those are ideas that I came up in a couple minutes of thinking.

[–] jaennaet@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 hour ago

No wonder McCoy hates transporters

[–] MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 hours ago

Photon < Quantum < RECTUM TORPEDOS (or rectal, if you prefer)

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

I agree. You gotta look at it like when a live theater actor starts pulling red scarves outta their shirt when their character gets stabbed. Obviously it looks nothing like real blood but bruh. Pipe down and enjoy the play, OK? For a while I followed somebody on tumblr who did art of what each species might look like if star trek had way more sfx resources. They were also a massive scaly LOL a looot of the art was Garak/Bashir.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 8 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (2 children)

although honestly, a play where someone gets stabbed in the first scene, and all the actors are horrified by the fact that instead of bleeding and dying, a red scarf comes out, they see he is still breathing but unresponsive. then they spend the rest of the play having an existential crisis slowly realizing that they are in a play and they will all cease to exist when it's over.

that would be an awesome play.

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

‘Rosencranz and Guildenstern are Dead’ is sorta this. The film does a good job of immersion, which enhances the meta-play effect.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 1 points 51 minutes ago

great suggestion, I will check it out

[–] Crozekiel@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Holy shit, please write that.

no idea how to write theater or scripts, I did write a short story where someone starts hearing the narrator on his dream and they have a conversation and end up having an existential crisis. even when the narrator promised him that he will forget the dream.