Ask Lemmy
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There’s sort of a racist undertone to that kind of question that can put people on guard. I think you just need to be cognizant of that when you frame a question.
The annoying version goes like this:
White person: Where are you from?
Brown person: Calgary
White person, squinting at their skin: Ok, but where are you from?
Brown person: Still Calgary.
White person: visibly frustrated
The annoying/racist part being that white people are assumed to originate from North America, but literally everyone else (including indigenous people, lol) are immigrants.
The basic question is fine and I’ve never seen someone upset about being asked. But if you go into more detailed questions, keep in mind they might mispercieve what you’re asking.
So much is contexts dependent.
If it is obvious that you are asking because someone is different, it can feel icky regardless of the asker's intentions. For example, if the one brown person at the front desk always gets asked this by customers, but no one seems to ask their coworkers. No follow up questions necessary, just the fact of being singled out feels bad.
I think it is less about being from North America and more about being in the ingroup or outgroup depending on ancestry.
Compare this to the context of travelers hanging out at a youth hostel. Everyone is curious about where everyone else is from and it is fun to talk about it.
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