this post was submitted on 05 May 2026
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Ok so this is a shit photo, but seriously, go make it. Beans on toast is easy and brilliant.
Also, What's going on with those beans? Heinz those are not!
heinz beans? what? just make some godsdamn bbq beans. go look up a recipe. hell, just go look up pioneer woman's doctored canned beans if you need lazy beans, those are pretty damn good too just full of sugar.
I certainly would encourage anyone to cook it they have the time but the point of beans on toast, is it's quick and easy. And Heinz is the best choice though an own brand is usually fine.
no, your tastes differ from mine so we must fight on the internet i prefer bush's beans. i don't think i've given heinz beans a fair shake though so like my opinion is pretty uninformed,
i usually just throw my own recipe on the smoker. if i'm not doing straight up chili, i'll cook some beans up most of the way smooth but not entirely smooth (the smoothest hummus of your life is 45 minutes in the electric pressure cooker. i do 20 with bbq beans), make some quick gravy (mix my favorite BBQ sauces with a few spices but not too many as the meat's rub contributes a lot, come to think of it i usually just use extra rub and bbq sauce and a can of tomato sauce) then throw it all on the smoker in a disposable foil tin with some sauteed onions and peppers underneath the meat to catch all the drippin's and the rub that comes off the meat with it. after 2-3 hours the beans are done, stir it once an hour maybe if you want, put another foil pan underneath to protect from burning, and let it sit in with the meat until it's done. top it up with tomato sauce, water, broth, wine, beer, rum, whiskey, or bbq sauce (whatever floats your fancy) if the liquid runs low, taste it before serving and adjust the spices. it'll take a few attempts to get your recipe to where you want it and to figure out which sauces and rubs and spices you want to use, but it's worth the experimentation and you get to eat the results. also they keep forever in the fridge/freezer
Sure, but I can grab a can of beans and some bread on the way home then cook and eat them in all of 20 minutes. They're not something you make because you enjoy cooking, they're just cheap, quick, easy, and filling.
why do lazy foods have to be devoid of love
They don't have to be devoid of love, you can put as much cheese as you want on.
Beans are a staple side dish of BBQ, one of my very favorite foods, and it is often served with white bread, so we understand what it is. There's just no reason to put the two together.
Besides, I know that with that first bite, a generous glob of beans is going to drool down the front of my shirt, and piss me off.
some foods need bibs (or eatin' shirts) and that's okay.
i can't remember what it was we were eating, but i smoked something good (it was our first time using cherry, and i was hungry). probably SLC ribs. i warned my wife she might want to move down the table a little bit because there was going to be a splash zone this meal (i had just dripped a big drop of food onto my lap, rolling all along my shirt, as was foretold by prophecy). her response was to dip her finger into her bbq sauce bowl and then flick it at me :3
I have an unknown eating disorder, in which it seems impossible to eat anything without dripping it on my shirt. I suspect a lot of others have this disorder as well. It's a secret American tragedy, hidden in shame.
I actually keep a hand towel in my car (I've got dozens of them for my job) and I take it in when I'm eating at Chipotle or something. It embarrasses the shit out of my son, but I always point out that I'd rather look dumb for an hour in a restaurant, than have to look stupid everywhere I go, because I'm wearing my lunch on my shirt.
When we finish, I always show him my "bib," so I can demonstrate all the drips that would have been on my shirt. He thinks I'm pathetic, but that's normal.
so i've had a "benign tremor" my entire life so i just wear patterns that make the spills hard to notice. hawaiian shirts, stuff like that. i have a couple shirts that repel water and food stains and shit. i have to leave for an appointment but i'll get you the fabric blend.
one is 65 cotton 33 poly 3 spandex, two are 58 cotton 42 poly. if i spill food on these (and my family very literally has an urban legend about my mom eating a chili dog that has spread around the western US and part of el caribe, this is an heritable trait) it wipes right off, no stain. normally I'm a natural fibers, natural, breathable fabrics dude but when there's a specific use case like yours (or mine i guess) it's worth it to have a few microplastic-shedding shirts that keep us tidy.
Knife and fork my dude. I tried it once and it was a fucking disaster. Beans everywhere.