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Everyone's able and pretty much always has been, but rejection can be very painful and a blow to the ego, which ceteris paribus is more uncomfortable for women so they only shoot their shot with men they find really attractive ("if the risk is always the same, at least go for the high reward", and being rejected by a guy who isn't very attractive can be even more painful), something that is rare.
This is the thing, realising you're not everybody's cup of tea shouldn't be painful - but it is because many folks don't have good psychological health
Yup yup yup. Although to be fair it's a bit more understandable coming from women (the fact that men are very horny, horny enough to fund 99% of hookers and OF girlies, horny enough to fuck a McChicken even, can make male-to-female rejection seem even more painful), we have it easier handling our emotions (any man who's less stable than the average woman is evidently broken and needs to get on top of their shit ASAP, we don't even have luteal phases!) so I don't mind being the sex that approaches.
Yeah, this also creates a lot of weird pressures on women who are generally horny ... that's what led to a lot of the more atypical parts of my life up until I hit early-onset menopause