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That people are either purely evil or purely good. I once argued with a homophobe who wanted to protect her children from seeing lesbians on tv. She said she had to protect her kids because they came to her from turbulent backgrounds. So she adopted kids in need, that makes her a good person. Still, she was a bigot and teaching her kids to be bigots and that is a problem. Homophobia is bad and harmful but not all homophobes are automatically completely horrible people.
As an add-on to this, people having the thought pattern of:
They're saying that my friend said something racist -> Therefore they're saying my friend is a racist (TM) -> However, my friend is a good person -> Therefore they're not a racist -> Therefore what my friend said wasn't racist -> Therefore the people calling my friend out are the bad guys
You can substitute in words like homophobic, transphobic, ableist, classist etc. for racist — the flow goes the same. An excellent book that helped me to understand this was "racism without racists". Reading that as a teenager helped me to more constructively respond when I have been called out for prejudiced attitudes, such as racism.
It makes me feel deeply uncomfortable to think of myself as a racist — and so I don't. However, unlike people who default to this thought pattern that turns cognitive dissonance into indignant resistance to change, I work to accept the fact that I am absolutely capable of doing, saying or thinking racist shit — it'd be hard not to, when I've grown up in a systemically racist culture. But I can acknowledge that without blaming myself for it, which allows me to avoid the discomfort of considering myself a racist whilst maintaining my moral fortitude.
A phrase that's helped me a lot is "you're not responsible for your first thought; you are responsible for your second". That helps me to actually interrogate where something is coming from if I catch myself having a reflexive thought that shocks or disgusts me. Unfortunately, this habit isn't one that many people have.
Thinking about things in terms of innate essences people have (even if they're less binary than good Vs evil) is harmful even when we're just looking at harms to ourselves. For instance, I was a super bright kid, and "the smart one" was a core pillar of my identity. However, as I entered my teens, I was so scared of losing this that I became more concerned with appearing smart than actually being smart. It felt like something I didn't have control over, which was terrifying. But I often say that I got a hell of a lot smarter when I let myself be dumb. That's because when I think about what a smart person actually does that makes them smart, it's stuff like being curious about the world, self reflecting on one's beliefs and knowledge and being open to being corrected etc.. It was a lot less pressure once I stopped thinking about things in terms of immutable, innate essences
I find myself with "racist" emotions often. After 9/11 we had months of terrifying imagery, the concept that nobody is safe, and the images of a turban-beard-combo alongside it.
Not being from a very multicultural area, when I see that classic look I dont think "guy going to work" I think "maybe got a bomb?". I actively work against it and ignore it, but it was deliberately and forcefully brainwashed into us.
Im so cheered up to see you saying "youre not responsible for your first thought, but you are for your second thought".