this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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Let's say there's someone I want to call Mr/Ms/Mrs [Name], but I don't know their gender, is there a title I can use that doesn't assume their gender?

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[–] feral_hedgehog@pawb.social 19 points 2 years ago

"Oi, fuckface!"

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 19 points 2 years ago

"Hey cunt" works for anybody. But your mileage may vary depending on your location.

[–] ItsTom87@kbin.social 15 points 2 years ago
[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 12 points 2 years ago

'Citizen...'

[–] whofearsthenight@lemm.ee 10 points 2 years ago

stolen from a post on mastodon earlier, but: foolish mortal(s)

[–] Laticauda@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Lord [name], my [name], my dear [name], the one they call [name], oh great and powerful [name].

Jokes aside, one I've heard of that I liked was "misc" like miscellaneous lol. That one works a bit better in writing that verbal though.

Some other popular ones include Mx, M, Ind/Div, N/A, Mt, Nb, and many others.

For my own personal suggestion, I kinda like the idea of using "The" as a gender neutral title. Like instead of Mr or Ms Smith, it's The Smith. Has a nice ring to it lol

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] Laticauda@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 years ago

You can't tell me that isn't objectively the best way to refer to someone named Gary.

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 2 points 2 years ago
[–] frankPodmore@slrpnk.net 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Not a contemporary one, but during the French Revolution, they used 'Citizen' for everyone.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 years ago
[–] sivanataraja@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Which, in French, is "citoyen" (masculine) or "citoyenne" (feminine). Not a neutral gendered word.

[–] meadsteve@reddthat.com 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Slightly off topic but I really like the approach where the honorific is just dropped entirely. So just [Name]. No Mr/Ms/Mrs. It mostly doesn't serve any purpose anyway.

[–] mundane@feddit.nu 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That's what we did in Sweden in the 60s. It feels so archaic whenever I have to enter an honorific on documents (i.e when booking hotels and flights) from other countries.

[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Sometimes they allow for you to write in other stuff. I put in "His majesty" once, it printed out as "His Firstname Lastname" in my hotel reservation paper. Disappointed.

I also put in "Emperor" for some mailing list stuff. I get a chuckle when I get mails from them. "Emperor RaivoKulli, sign up now for the conference"

[–] itinerantme@lemmy.wtf 6 points 2 years ago (4 children)

I have started just using M. Like, "Dear M. Lastname". I saw it being done in French and just adopted it for English too. No one's complained yet. (Have also seen Mx. but figure that could be confusing.)

[–] bitcrafter@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 2 years ago

In the sci-fi book Hyperion (which takes place hundreds of years in the future) they use this convention throughout and it works really well, so I've also wished that it were widely adopted in our society. (Except for androids, where the title is A. rather than M.)

[–] charles@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Just fyi, M. in French is only equivalent to Mr, it's short for Monsieur. Mme (short for Madame) is equivalent to Mrs, and Mlle (short for Mademoiselle) is equivalent to Miss/Ms.

So using M. for everyone is equivalent to saying Mr. for everyone.

[–] itinerantme@lemmy.wtf 0 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Yeah, I know! That's why I was surprised when someone addressed me as "M." (while I don't present as such, traditionally) in French. So, I thought "that's neat!" and picked it up.

[–] Ghost33313@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago

TIL M. Bison was nonbinary.

[–] Wahots@pawb.social 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

A sci-fi book from 1991 used that (Hyperion), and I thought it was just futurespeak. TIL!

[–] poppy@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago

Too bad we can’t adopt the Japanese “-san” honorific, as it is gender neutral!

[–] Silverseren@kbin.social 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Mx. seems the most commonly used for gender neutral. It's used both by non-binary people and in cases where you purposefully don't want to put a gender as a prefix.

[–] h3mlocke@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Is it just pronounced "mix?"

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[–] bingbong@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 years ago
[–] wildbus8979@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 years ago
[–] Firefly7@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Mx is common-ish among nonbinary people. Here’s a relevant poll regarding people’s usages of it: https://www.gendercensus.com/results/2023-mx/

[–] Maddie@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 years ago
[–] NekoKamiGuru@ttrpg.network 2 points 2 years ago

There are tons of titles that do not make reference to gender.

Doctor , The Right Reverend , The Reverend , The guru swami I am all right Jack bugger the rest of you thanks gee , The honorable , The Right honorable , Your Grace , Your Honor , Your Holiness , Your majesty , Their Infernal Majesty supreme overseer of the pit of wailing souls and lost left thongs...

[–] Dr_Cog@mander.xyz 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My wife and I are both Dr. X

[–] httpjames@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] girl@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

Dr. The Site Formerly Known as Twitter

[–] danhab99@programming.dev 2 points 2 years ago

This is one of the reasons why I call everyone " friend"

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 points 2 years ago

Doctor and Professor are the only two I know.

[–] regalia@literature.cafe 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] teuast@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 years ago
[–] bokster@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 2 years ago

In all seriousness, I think I've seen 'Mx' used in this context.

Usually though, you'd go with a generic greeting such as 'Dear Sir or Madam' or 'To whom it may concern'.

[–] nemo20000@mastodon.online 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Blamemeta@lemm.ee -1 points 2 years ago

Does it come with RGB lighting?

[–] theKalash@feddit.ch 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] wrath-sedan@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I was about to say this. Downside is you have to get a PhD first…

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Not for professor. I taught with just a bachelor's.

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