this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2024
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Canada

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[โ€“] saigot@lemmy.ca 123 points 2 months ago (7 children)
[โ€“] _stranger_@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago

TEXAS IS TITS!!

TEXTITS!

TITSAS!!!!

[โ€“] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Hnnng... Blow your load in me daddy; give me that good-good healthcare batter. Nnnnnnhh~

[โ€“] PlasticExistence@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Uh, Canada? You could at least buy us dinner first.

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[โ€“] streetfestival@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 months ago

Maybe I'm getting carried away with the phalluses but it looks like Canada might also be enjoying a James Bay-shaped buttplug. Nice.

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[โ€“] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 60 points 2 months ago (5 children)

So it's blurred, but I definitely see the matching hue of Florida and Canada, which I'm interpreting as meaning the two are one in the same. I'm cool with being Canada's shorts if y'all are willing take that shit show off of our shoulders!

[โ€“] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 48 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Florida is absolutely North Americaโ€™s penis.

[โ€“] Awkwardly_Frank@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I enjoyed living in Florida, and I'm moving back, but I can confirm that they are both visually,and societaly, North America's dong.

[โ€“] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

florida's a miserable oozing pustule on the cock of the earth. no seasons, no landscape, only assholes, mosquitos, asshole mosquitos, and tourists going to either disney or one of the shitty florida beaches with no waves, only red tide and scientologists. and enjoy the 95+ heat when a hurricane knocks your power out for 3 days.

and despite being completely flat with nothing but the most boring straight roads anywhere, nobody knows how the fuck to drive. seriously wtf

fuck florida. there's no amount of money anyone could pay me to live there again

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[โ€“] Mac@mander.xyz 6 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Why would you move to Florida?

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[โ€“] HK65@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 months ago (5 children)

While Sweden is Europe's. But don't worry, size is not all that matters.

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[โ€“] magnetosphere@fedia.io 42 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Speaking as an American, Iโ€™d like to say that any other American who gets sincerely mad at this deserves to be messed with. Itโ€™s funny. Get over yourself.

[โ€“] Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm mad that Fl*rida is hanging out of the shorts. ๐Ÿคฎ

Cover that shit up.

[โ€“] hddsx@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Tell me that you wouldnโ€™t think Floridians would do that

[โ€“] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Unite as one humongous cock? That's what they do all day every day.

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[โ€“] primrosepathspeedrun@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

no but there are canadians I want to fuck and some of them have dicks and I have to imagine this now. I have to imagine touching florida. this is Not Okay.

[โ€“] doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 39 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I mean, this implies that Canada is a hapless idiot who walks around with its cock out, so this feels more like a dunk on the canucks

[โ€“] Astongt615@lemmy.one 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The biggest thing it implied to me is that Florida is part of Canada. You can have em!

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[โ€“] roguetrick@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

You ever been to Dartmouth?

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[โ€“] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago (10 children)
[โ€“] Nouveau_Burnswick@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Nope, America is the pants and Alaska is the hat.

America is Canada's pants AND hat.

[โ€“] someguy3@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Make Canada hat again.

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[โ€“] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Hey, as gently as this can be: maybe it's time to change your shorts, Canada. They appear to be full of shit.

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[โ€“] veeesix@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure theyโ€™re plenty mad amongst themselves as it is.

[โ€“] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

In our defense:

*gestures at the general state of our country*

[โ€“] Resol@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Of course Florida is the wiggly jiggly bit.

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[โ€“] WoahWoah@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

90% of the population of Canada lives within about 100 miles of the United States border. Canada being America's hat makes moree sense in that respect.

But Florida is clearly a cock, so... I'm into it.

Incidentally, 100 miles north-to-south is about the height of Connecticut from the Mass to NY borders.

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[โ€“] EarthShipTechIntern@lemm.ee 12 points 2 months ago

If big mad means "leaves 'em grinnin'" then mission accomplished.

Thanks!

[โ€“] saltesc@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

I like how Alaskans refer to the rest of the US as the southern states.

[โ€“] problematicPanther@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

I've always referred to florida as America's wang, but it's clearly Canada's

[โ€“] asymmetric@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 months ago

I like the sentiment, though it would be even better if Canada was facing backwards and Florida was a dangling turd instead of a dangling penis.

[โ€“] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Bruh. We Americans know Florida is just our wang.

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[โ€“] Etterra@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

American here, you forgot that Texas is a big poopy diaper. Otherwise no notes. ๐Ÿ‘

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[โ€“] TootSweet@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

I'll allow it.

(That's a joke. I'll encourage it, in fact.)

Credentials: am American.

[โ€“] YeetPics@mander.xyz 7 points 2 months ago

Haha that's great, but you have some sort of VD going on on your cock, mate.

Please see a doctor

[โ€“] roguetrick@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Canada's got that Hank Hill ass with California.

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[โ€“] wieson@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Shorts with a hoodie attached (Alaska)

Someone get this info to Milano or Paris

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[โ€“] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Europe staring across the pond:

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[โ€“] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

So now I can explain to foreigners that its technically Canada fucking the rest of the world with their Florida penis. Excellent.

[โ€“] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago

Canada is embarrassingly drunk, as usual.

[โ€“] JimmyBigSausage@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

Canada looks like blood exploding out of pants

American here: This shit is funny.

[โ€“] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago
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