Don't. We're all stuck on this little ball of rock together, and making each other miserable just makes life worse for everyone.
this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
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Move his house 2 inches to the left, so when he tries to unlock his front door, he misses the keyhole.
In the middle of the night, take a bunch of nitrogen fertilizer and lay out a "Fuck You!" message on his lawn. Water it into the ground.
The message won't appear for months until after you move away.
If you wanna spend money, glitter mail. or if its a house, set up a flood light pointed at their house and set it up on a random timer for only at night and blast them with "security" lighting.
Attract tons of wild life with the food you need to get rid of.
Sign up for grindr and start sending people their way.
Learn the noise ordinance laws and maximize that to the fullest for a short period
Stand on the property line constantly and try looking through their windows, or watch them, if they approach, quickly leave (don't enter their property)
Sign them up for stuff. Especially if you can find their email through LinkedIn etc.
Or, just move on since they will be out of your life regardless, don't spend your energy on them,they aren't worth it
Edit: Actually rather than grindr, send scalpers, leave good people out of these shenanigans
Everything except the Grindr one. Endangering people is never cool.
Yeah, I added that edit pretty immediately
Why be petty and justify the neighbor... just move and never think of them again.
The best revenge is living well.
So we need some form of sentient water hole to attack him?
If his TV is close enough to the window to see what he's watching, and you can find a remote with enough range to change the channel from your own house, well, you know the rest.
If you know a little electronics you can build a high power IR led circuit to generate super powrful IR signals that would work for this purpose.
And then automate it so his tv just does something random every 10 mins.
If Canadian, chuck a bag of milk in his eavestroughing. The heat will rot the milk and the bag will degrade in the sun till one day it fails, releasing STANK.
"Gutters" for anyone else about to look up "eavestroughing"
I don’t know what kind of neighborhood it is but sprinkling cat food or something like that everywhere would probably attract something. Your friend could even do it to his own yard. I’d be weirded out if my neighbor moved and suddenly his yard had 25 raccoons in it.
Let Scientology and the Jehovah's witnesses know he's interested in knowing more. Do the same with military recruiters.
Sign him up to receive junk mail from sex toy stores. Use his name and his neighbors' addresses. Maybe try to get travel brochures sent to him for countries known for sex tourism.