Motorcycle at 16.
this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
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I don't think there's a reason, which I think is the saddest reason. Growing up and drifting apart. Tried many times to fire up conversations but don't know where to start.
Good friend, helped me through my parents long divorce. I moved abroad and got a bit lonely out there. Him and his then longterm gf who I was also good friends with had planned to come out and see me.
They then split shortly before. I wanted to be friends with both of them, but if I'm honest with myself, I thought the gf had feelings for me, as her texts to me were getting very high in emoji content. I encouraged them both to come separately and my friend said that our friendship was over if his ex comes to visit me. I guess he knew me better than I knew myself.
He didn't visit, she did. Nothing happened but there were clearly mixed messages on my side. Lost two good friends in one go.
Have made a few good friends since then, but I do miss him and that social circle a lot. I surprisingly haven't learned to not take liberties in friendship circles, but I'm trying to learn.
His girlfriend at that the time said I was handsome causing dude to become incredibly insecure and petty.
Cocaine laced with fentanyl. OD'd in the bathtub. Wasn't even (remotely) a regular user; just having a little extra fun on New Years. Was about to finalize the adoption of his and his wife's baby girl too
Another one from alcohol, fell asleep in the bath
Another one from an undiagnosed heart condition
Another from a peritoneal infection from peritoneal dialysis (they had sickle cell)
My sister from benzos and falling asleep in the bath
All of them in their 30's. Been a difficult few years of losing friends/family for me, ngl
That's really rough. I hope you are doing OK and taking care of yourself.
Good lord what a hand you've been dealt. My sympathies.
He became a Qanon ass licking dumbfuck and a pro Trump cum sandwich.
Also, we are French so his savior isnβt able to place us on a map.
Within reason ofc but I think it's a valuable thing to have friends with different viewpoints
It is, but not when they try to "educate" everyone around them at every breath they take, every text message and every conversation.
It ended up with everyone saying "dude stop, we donβt care at all" and him apologizing then saying "ok sorry, my mistake, I explained it wrong thatβs why you didnβt understand".
Again and again and again. It is a disease that needs medical treatment (psychiatric, the same as people leaving cults) and the way he described it fits the description. He said that he "fell in it" (tomber dedans in French, as in falling in a pit) by being bored at work and watching too many YouTube videos to pass time.
We tried to help, but after 2 years we were exhausted. Dude doesnβt want to be helped and we are not medical professionals.
Last news was that he now hangs with another former friend from school that also refused to change and get help, the only cocaine addict of our small town. To the village they are known as the crazy guys sitting on a park bench all day and feeding each other craziness. To them they are probably the only two enlightened dudes and everybody else is too dumb and needs to be awoken.
If nothing else, then to have a reference to whom else not to befriend, and to have a known source for all the hottest new nonsense.
Kinda like Urban Dictionary. Lots of degenaratory stuff on there, but at least i got somewhat reliable definitions for all the weird stuff people call me and/or each other.
One where I was dumb was when I sold my then one of best friends a laptop and took his word for him going to pay a week later even though I knew he was a small time grifter. We were tight so I thougt he wouldn't screw me over but alas, believing in people is dumb.
The second was an online friend of many years and good emotional support one way and the other, but then out of the blue the dude starts spewing hate and straight up tells me he's a nazi. Fuck that guy. Well fuck the first guy too, but at least I knew the devil back then.
I bought tickets for a concert for us both provided she drive. She never showed up and didn't answer her phone or anything but was somehow mad at me a few days later.
Dude became an outspoken anti vaxxer, tin foil hat wearing plandemic twat.
The final nail was when he shows up at our business out of the blue one day (literally had not spoken with him in almost a year) where he had left some oil paintings & other artwork to pick them up, then sent a shitty passive aggressive text the next day about how they were not kept in perfect condition.
My dude, you left them without a word otherwise over 4 years ago, we have shit to do besides take care of discarded art.
A mutual friend of ours got into an argument with him because he made some new friends at his local pub and was buying pints for them left, right and centre. He took serious offence to the suggestion that they were using him for his money (he got about Β£120k in inheritance after his mum died) and cut both of us off, even though I never said anything to him.
I don't want to elaborate on his backstory but he had a lot of mental health problems and past trauma. After a lot of bad things happened a few years ago, he decided that he was done with life and vowed not to outlive his cats. Have tried to talk him out of it but he's set on ending his own life after his cats pass away.
I presume he's still alive, but I can't get in touch with him as he nuked his phone number and blocked me on all socials.
Lost all my friends every couple years growing up thanks to the US military moving us around. Do not recommend.
Got a great dad out of the situation though so Iβm not bitter. Much.
I'd bet, even if he doesn't say it, one of your father's biggest regrets is that you didn't have a stable location and set of friends. And if it's not, I'd suggest not bringing it up. Realizing that after all this years could be pretty traumatic.
I used to have an online friend who never really texts me first unless I do. Since they're a leftie, I wished them on Happy Left-handers Day and they replied that I don't need to wish them, which I only did to spark some conversation. This put me off and I went "Alr I won't bother texting you ever" and they went "Ok".
Haven't texted them in 3 months, neither did they (as they don't ever). Idk who is the idiot here, me, she or both.
I don't really like ending friendships from my side, so I might text them on her birthday and see how it goes.
For the whole paragraph the pronoun in use is 'them ' except for the end, it is 'she'. Can I assume her sex is female and her gender is something different?
Also you sound like a caring and persistent person. It is valuable to have a friend like this.
I canceled on the biweekly DnD session because it was scheduled for Halloween and I had plans. Told him a little last minute (day before when I realized).
Dude torpedoed our 10 year friendship over that.
Was that this year? Halloween wasn't too long ago, maybe he was in a bad mood/unstable situation. You may recover if he reconsiders, it feels a bit extreme to burn a decade old bridge just because of that
Agree with other responder. End of October was.. Stressful. Way more for some than others. This might be one of those situations where trying an "Are you OK?" would be all that's needed to start mending.
He had an argument with my then girlfriend, and stopped talking to me for whatever reason. We never had any issues or arguments, but he simply won't reply to me or return my calls. After a while, I gave up. We had been friends for about 7 years at that point.
My best friend and I suggested online that maybe this friend of ours stop using βgayβ as an insult (this was around 2009 or so) and he and his girlfriend became adamantly defensive and mean. When they implied that my best friend was molesting his beloved dog just to be assholes, I just cut the cord and walked away. They were idiots anyway.
Fun fact: the girlfriend was, and is, a huge βdo goodβ volunteer advocacy leader. So, you know, help each other out, but donβt get in the way of my homophonic slurs.
Friends; plural. I quit drinking.
Sounds like a smart way.
I relfected my own insecurities about my sexuality onto my partner, sadly i didnt realised that they where nonbinary :(
It certainly wasnt the final nail in the coffin but something i still feel guilty about.
Wait, I hope you don't think it's your fault that you opened up?
Back in primary school (end of 1997), my best friend went to a different high school the next year and we never spoke again.
Brother: Lets just say we had a major disagreement in early November.
Couldn't agree what stash you'd each gorw for Movember? :D /s
Or they couldn't agree if almonds or pistachios were the best nut.
No nut November can really split families apart
This is ages ago, invited me to an MLM event without telling me it's MLM. I've experienced cult that night.
I had someone do that with me too, but in their defense, I know they never had the brains to tell that was a cult. Fortunately they didn't get trapped either, but they did waste a bit of money in it for a short while.
This hits close to home...
Lost (sent away) two who tried to 'date' my husband.
Mad she didn't get invited to a concert my GF bought tickets to. Welp
I mean, if my friends knew I was a huge fan of the band, were going and weren't like, "tickets are Β£50, do you want one?" It would sting.
I wasn't planning on it, my GF bought the tickets without asking me about it, and didn't know about my pal being into the band. But my friend figured I was the one who left her out. Called me up and berated me about being a bad friend without saying what it was she was mad about. I prefer not to have friends that use that kind of rhetoric.
Thats a specific situation you're imagining and isnt necessarily what happened
I did realise that it's a specific situation but as the original post didn't have more context, I didn't see why I shouldn't be allowed to suggest some.
If OP wants to expand on the situation, they're welcome to.
Whenever I wanted to hang out she was at volleyball practice
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