politics

They're dead serious and doing what they were paid to do.

They weren't paid to protect you, they weren't paid to make your life easier, they weren't paid to represent you at all.

Represented with great honor in this new legislation is the humble American crow – the true reflection of our nation's soul. For what is the bald eagle but a symbol of outdated pomp and a government that's too busy patting itself on the back? The bald eagle, after all, has been perched atop its perch since 1782 – a symbol of a country that's more concerned with conserving its own status than doing anything to actually improve itself.

Meanwhile, the American crow is out here living its best life. It's always scheming, always scrounging for scraps in the garbage of society. It's a bird of the people – and by people, I mean those of us who are still trying to make ends meet while the fat cats at the top continue to feast on the nation's wealth.

It's also a symbol of our nation's laziness. The bald eagle may be proud of its slow, majestic flight, but we're more proud of being able to do absolutely nothing for hours on end without any consequences. We're a country that can't even be bothered to show up to its own problems – and the American crow is the perfect representation of that.

Furthermore, have you seen the state of our national parks? A bunch of underfunded, neglected monstrosities that are more like a symbol of our own institutionalized apathy than anything we'd want to attract. It's like the bald eagle is just trying to pretend we're better than we are.

Meanwhile, the American crow is out here building its own infrastructure – a nest made of whatever it can scrounge up, with twigs and trash and other people's detritus. That's the American way – we don't need no fancy-schmancy 'bald eagle' perched on some government-mandated pedestal; we've got our American crow, proudly wallowing in its own mediocrity.

So let's be real, folks – the next time you see an American crow, that's what we're really looking at. That's what we are as a country: lazy, corrupt, and proud of it.

Wasn't the bald eagle already the US's national bird?

The real national bird is the boneless chicken.

Was it not already?

I found the reason on Wikipedia

"The bald eagle is an opportunistic feeder."

It's the bird the US leadership most identifies with.

It's not like if they didn't pass this law they would have snuck in Medicare for all - I hate the "Is this a good use of your time" argument.

But it's never a bad time to criticize how ineffective lawmakers are.

Dee is my national bird.

Ah yes, really focusing on the important shit here. I can see why the US is doing so well.

Actually the Senate passed this in July. It took until now for Congress to pass literally the easiest partisan bill probably because they were waiting to use it as their next shitty rider platform, or because they were too busy wasting time creating a new committee to investigate TikTok.

Wait, I thought this was already the national bird: 🖕

Both parties are very serious...

...About keeping this economy and system exactly as it is, as they bicker over social wedges that don't meaningfully impact quarterly earnings expectations.

They're both paid well by the same oligarchs to do so.

If you wanted to see them scrambling to pass real legislation to protect the government from an incoming administration, you should have elected a leftist. You'd see Democrat and Republican reps holding hands, having sit ins, and desperately chanting we will overcome if an incoming administration was promising to dismantle for profit healthcare, for example.

Don't worry though, they'd never let that happen. They have all the tools they need to prevent such a disaster as they see it. Their bribes would dry up overnight if they lost control of the narrative and their plebs.

All I can say is... I'm glad it's not the next president who signs it into law.