This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
As somebody who has made a 6 cup Moka pot of Death Wish before, I totally empathize with OP. That must have been one hell of a stressful day. I felt like my heart was going to hop out of my throat, and was pretty much stuck in an hours long panic attack. And the only way I didn't feel like I was going to die was standing.
ld50 150 mg/kg
Anon almost definitively survived, but they got on a fucked up ride
LD50 just means half of a test population dies at that dosage. Anon took just over 1/10th of LD50 so there's a nonzero chance things did not go well
Study I read stated that 57mg/kg was the lowest recorded ingestion leading to mortality. Anon’s organs lost a few steps but they’re likely fine enough
So more like ~1/4 towards potential death level amount. Bro is never gonna touch caffeine again after riding this out
Nah, they'll be back on the horse soon enough like a good anon...
Anon fellates a potion of heart failure
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6247400/
Some have indicated that after a dose of around 1 g, toxic symptoms begin to manifest, a dose of 2 g requires hospitalization, while higher doses (e.g., typically 5 g or more) could be lethal
So he'll probably live, but his heart will be going like the fucking clappers.
wtf is that product, op can't be the only one misunderstanding it
It's a water flavoring. Most are just that, water flavoring. Few squirts into a water bottle make water more "palatable" for some. There are different types of this water "enhancer" that contain caffeine. This is one of those kinds.
Either your a spider or you meant palatable.
I've got a torch buddy, I'm onto you!
You know what, you're probably right.
About the spider thing?!?
No, the buddy thing.
I now pronounce you bro and pal. You may high five the bride.
They make THC ones too... I tried them the one time my local dispensary had a flash sale and marked them down from like $30 to $6 (probably about to expire).
Can't say they're worth full price, but was great for $6. Drinking THC, interestingly, has a different high than eating it. It's kind of in between smoking and eating. Takes like 20-30min to hit (instead of 90min+), but doesn't last as long as an edible (which some might see as a plus, though I don't mind waking up high the next morning lol).
After a while, the taste/smell did start to bother me. Whatever the shit is suspended in (PEG? I don't know) has a distinct smell and aftertaste. I wonder if this stuff is similar.
There are better THC drinks than these additives.
In you are in California, PBR makes a delicious non-alcoholic thc drink.
Yeah, they sell better ones at the liquor stores here actually... They're all packed with sugar substitutes though, which is another aftertaste I'm not a fan of. They're a bit overpriced too...
The cheapest ones for THC per dollar, that I've seen there, come to about ~$6 a piece (in a 4-pack, so ~24) and have 20mg THC.
Still... Pretty cool that you can buy weed drinks at the fucking liquor store. At least that's one thing that we've made progress on and don't appear to be walking back. Yet. I doubt they will act to federally legalize it though, and probably keep up the "states rights" bullshit and have it be state by state. So they have something to point to to prove that they totally believe in states rights.
It has "energy" and "caffeine" on the front, OP didn't read
that's fair, I more meant the sheer amount of it though
"Mio" is one of those products where you squirt a little bit into water to give it flavor. It's extremely concentrated. Honestly, I don't know how OP even managed to drink it all without diluting it first. I've tried drinking a single squirt of a similar product before, and it was awful.
They probably didn't drink it, they likely calculated how much was in it and made a funny.
Pretty much anything that says "energy" in it will have a ton of caffeine, surely everyone knows this by now...
This honestly makes so much more sense from an environmental standpoint. Why waste so much in terms of resources shipping hundreds of millions of pounds of sugar water every month so picky babies that refuse to drink water will pump more money into the coca cola empire so they can get type 2 diabetes as fast as possible. Instead just ship this little cup thing at 1/18th the weight and save so much gasoline, road wear and tear, etc.
Who am I kidding, they’ll just put this into plastic bottled water that’s been shipped from 3 states over
Sure, but the thing these are replacing are powders, so it's actually shipping more water (and plastic).
Eww stateside water?? Nah bro give me that other side of the world Fiji water.
Looks like Mio, you add it to your water to get flavoured water. I guess like Tang or Kool-Aid but modern and typically zero calories or something like that.
I'm guessing this one has caffeine and for some reason they chose not to mix it with water.
It says on the fucking bottle that it's a "light squeeze per 12 oz of water". Anyone stupid enough to kill themselves with it has it coming.
i thought it was shampoo 😂
That's about 11 cups of coffee. Should be okay.
I calculated the LD50 times average adult weight divided by 100mg per cup before, and I think the result was over 100 cups.
I start feeling it after like 5 or so. 11 would give me a panic attack.
Oh yeah I don't think it would feel great, I'm just saying it's far enough from the LD50 that the answer to Anon's question "Do I survive?" would be yes. (Unless he's a child, or he has some preexisting condition making him more vulnerable to caffeine).
As a bored, teenage barista, my coworkers and I would sometimes kill time by doing espresso shot competitions.
I did 10 once. Never again. I feel like something permanently changed in my brain chemistry that day (not to mention my gut was fucked).
Yeah, caffeine seems to fuck with the gut more that I used to think.
I've been an off and on 0.5-1 liter energy drink per day guy, rarely 1.5-2 liters. I think ours are even weaker than the ones in the US, they're 32mg/100ml here.
Thats less than 3 large starbucks coffees. I guarantee you some people are hitting that on the reg.
"doing the math"=60x18 lmao
As long as they’re healthy, yes. That’s roughly the same amount as drinking a few espressos. But they won’t have a good time.
Espessos have ~60mg of caffeine, each squirt would be one. Still should be fine, but i wouldnt recommend drinking 18 espessos at once.
This is anon we're talking about, no way they're healthy.
Speedrunning caffeine addiction
Assuming all that caffeine went into their blood and nowhere else they're only about 2x above where it starts being lethal. Should be fine, maybe
Where's the greentext?
We have to pretend for this one.
I got you, fam:
Did u do that in paint. Didn't even use the text as a mask just strait up replaced the black with green. And its the wrong green.
Absolute hero
Absolute hero
Legendary
OP had so much caffeine, his text turned black
Next to the ⋮
Sounds like a lightweight.