this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2023
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Made JV as a freshman in high school. Was the star player. Was NBA bound. Mixtape had a million hits on YouTube. Then, disaster. Got cut from varsity the next year in favor of the coach's son. Nepotism cost me an NBA career.

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[–] Banner18Boogies@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (2 children)

How does anyone find this shit funny

[–] Scoot2028MVP@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

A lot of kids on this Subreddit. I know I thought some cringey shit was funny when I was a kid.

[–] nikerock@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (3 children)

It's not so much what OP wrote that's funny, it's the fact that someone this pathetic and desperate for attention exists that's funny. It's also kinda depressing. Actually it's more depressing than funny.

[–] EyecalledGame@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Man, you nailed it, not the depressing part the funny part.

[–] Vegetable-Tooth8463@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

u/EatFoodShitPant You got owned lol

[–] EatFoodShitPant@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm not owned! I'm not owned!!

[–] Vegetable-Tooth8463@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

lmao, this is amusing. Anyway your shitty post was reported.

[–] the_blessed_unrest@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Wait is OP not in on the joke?

[–] UnhingedSupernova@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

As a Pistons fan, I would happily swap you out for James "ni hao" Wiseman

[–] graveyeverton93@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] itsstevedave@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Meh. It's a toss up

[–] SomeRandom928Person@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

100%. Super-talented dudes that threw their NBA careers away for drugs, like Roy Tarpley and Richard Dumas, are a close second imo.

[–] GrizzVolsTigersLions@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

What if Zach Randolph was not suspended for Game 7 of the Grizzlies-Thunder first round matchup in 2014

[–] imminentjogger5@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

there's still hope if you link your mixtape

[–] EatFoodShitPant@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Can't. YouTube deleted it because I used a copyrighted song (Basket Case by Green Day) and I forgot to save a backup.

[–] notatpeace39@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Damn YouTube robbed the world of its eighth wonder

[–] ExoticEmployeeKC@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Sure it wasn’t….. American Idiot? 😏

[–] SharksFanAbroad@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

As stupid as the post was, this is a solidly funny reply.

[–] giri0n@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Peak r/nba shitpost - we've made it nephews!

[–] sortarelatable@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Bless your heart

[–] cheezeflavoredick@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

blud thinks hes on the team

[–] DoubleGreat44@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Let's just pretend everything you said is true.

Nepotism cost me an NBA career.

Nope. Persecution complex cost you an NBA career. You could have used that moment to motivate you to work harder. You could have walked-on for a college team and continued your path.

You are not in the NBA because you chose to focus on who else to blame instead of overcoming a hurdle.

95% of the players in the NBA had to overcome hurdles to get there. If any of them had instead focused on who to blame for their struggles, they too would not be in the NBA.

[–] ShutUpCatPeopleRule@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This is a hilarious reply because

  1. replying to this post in any type of serious way is an LOL

AND 2) acting like 95% of NBA players overcame massive odds to get there is such a hilarious thing to say. 95% of nba players are fucking GENETIC FREAKS where people knew they were league bound from a young age. You’re telling me the 6-8 guys who can run like a fucking gazelle “overcame massive odds” bruh, oooooookkkkkkk

[–] sewsgup@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

David Thorpe actually talked ab this on a podcast recently.

there's actually more people than you think that are tall as Kevin Durant, can dribble and shoot like him— and are not in the NBA.

none of them have the basketball mind that KD does however, that just comes from playing and experiencing a ton of basketball.

i remember another podcast talking ab how KD as a high schooler would come up early to shoot hoops before Team USA practiced, watch their practice from the bleachers, then continue shooting after they wrapped, doing like 12 hour days at the gym.

[–] WallOld615@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

I’m gonna guess no one laughed at this. Back to the drawing board.

[–] CrazyPersonXV@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Why not tryout in Europe or something or g league

[–] StanleyStutters@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Idc what anyone says I’m keeping my EatFoodShitPant jersey forever.

[–] Nuclearsunburn@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

The speedhawk of the NBA

[–] StacheBigote420@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Bro maybe you can sneak into the upcoming Harden Trade

[–] MDL6@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Nah, I once checked in for 6 seconds to end the first half… hit a 3. Didn’t play again. That’s 960 points per 32 minute HS game.

[–] BayTerp@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

You got people mad in the comments lmao. Haters gonna hate

[–] FactCheckingThings@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

You make a strong case to ban circlejerk posters from posting here.

[–] jking94577@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

i was the star player on my little league team. Led them to the World Series. One hot summer day, i decided to get an ice cream cone. It melted too fast and fell onto the floor. I slipped on it and tore my ACL. an ice cream cost me my MLB career.

these stories should be in /r/writingprompts instead of here. what a joke

[–] cabobelfort@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Bro, if you were NBA talent you wouldn't be cut for the coach's son. There are 12 to 15 roster spots. You are delusional lol

[–] meekspuff@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

What are you doing now? You left out the best part