this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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politics

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[–] Retreaux@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Cope harder, Garden Noem.

[–] wewbull@feddit.uk 33 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

You know who carries large amounts of cash?

People who get paid in cash.

[–] boaratio@lemmy.world 7 points 5 hours ago

I had the same thought.

[–] chrischryse@lemmy.world 10 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Why does her face make me uncomfortable

[–] boaratio@lemmy.world 16 points 5 hours ago

Because she killed her dog in a gravel pit, and put that story in her book.

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 35 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

The head of Homeland SECURITY doesn't have good enough security to keep her bag from being stolen?

Probably stolen by a member of her own security detail.

Fucking hilarious.

[–] BobSentMe@lemm.ee 3 points 11 hours ago

"Hey guys, can we turn off all the cameras so nobody sees the drug deal I'm trying to do?"

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 21 points 15 hours ago

More evidence that we are shifting from a Trickle Down Economy to a Robin Hood Economy (take from the rich, give to the poor).

[–] RymrgandsDaughter@lemmy.world 13 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I mean unless her phone was in it... although who just walks around DC with $3k lmao

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 5 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I once knew a rich guy who carried two envelopes in his suit pockets. One carried small bills for tips and such, and the other carried large bills because "you never know when you are going run across a good gun deal."

[–] RymrgandsDaughter@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago

I'm pretty sure if I want a good gun deal I'm leaving DC and going to Virginia

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 28 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

I'd be willing to bet she just lost it and is blaming crime just as a deflection.

[–] IonAddis@lemmy.world 19 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

With all that's going on, my instinct is that she had secrets or something in there on a USB stick and passed it onto another country while blaming crime. (Or that is, crimes other than her own.)

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 4 points 11 hours ago

Ooh, I vote this one. Selling state secrets under the guise of crime

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[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 24 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Couldn't happen to a nicer Nazi bitch

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[–] Crikeste@lemm.ee 62 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

How the fuck is she going out in public and not being shot in the face? Honest question.

[–] IndustryStandard@lemmy.world 18 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I cannot think of someone more replaceable than her.

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[–] SulaymanF@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Supposedly she has a lot of homeland security protection. But not good enough to stop her stuff from being stolen?

[–] BobSentMe@lemm.ee 1 points 10 hours ago

Probably gave her all the TSA rejects.

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[–] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 23 points 18 hours ago (6 children)

Who goes out with $3k cash? Even if you are so wealthy that the quantity is like $20 for normal people, that's enough to make you a target if someone discovers you have it.

[–] rabber@lemmy.ca 5 points 4 hours ago

Someone who gets paid in cash

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[–] Boddhisatva@lemmy.world 239 points 1 day ago (5 children)

If a black guy was pulled over with that much cash, the cops would civil forfeiture it because it is obviously proceeds from drug dealing.

I trust they are now investigating her ties to the drug trade?

[–] meeeeetch@lemmy.world 101 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Human trafficking is probably the more promising direction.

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[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 133 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (15 children)

Everyone here focused on the cash for some reason.

The thief got away with Noem’s driver’s license, medication, apartment keys, passport, DHS access badge, makeup bag, blank checks, and about $3,000 in cash, the law enforcement source said.

The only saving grace is they can lock out that one badge. Hopefully she reported it quickly.

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 41 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Hopefully she reported it quickly.

Why? Any rando wandering in can't be worse than the people who are already there.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 19 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

I'm laughing at the idea of a hobo walking in smelling like piss and shit and wearing her badge, and staff going, "Morning Kristi!".

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 16 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

"Have you noticed Kristi seems more like an actual human being than usual?"

[–] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 8 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

She smells worse, but damned if she isn't so much nicer.

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 2 points 2 hours ago

"Not that much worse, mind you."

[–] dirthawker0@lemmy.world 58 points 1 day ago (17 children)

Who the hell still carries around paper checks? I think I've written a total of 3 checks in the past 4-5 years, all for home service like plumbers.

[–] MBech@feddit.dk 38 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm european, born in the 90's. I've never in my life seen a check in person... By the 00's everyone either had a credit card or just used cash.

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[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 13 points 17 hours ago

The 80s called. They want their shoulder pads back.

[–] oyo@lemm.ee 31 points 21 hours ago

Department of Handbag Security Chief Fails to Secure Handbag.

[–] vegeta@lemmy.world 123 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

So qualified, she couldn’t even secure her own purse.

[–] Norgoroth@lemmy.world 55 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Drug using dog killer obviously can't be trusted, she was clearly on the way to buy more drugs. Lost more state secrets than Donald's toilet library

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[–] circuitfarmer@lemmy.world 26 points 21 hours ago

Hunter's Laptop people speaking up in 3...2....1.... wait where are they???

[–] just_another_person@lemmy.world 61 points 1 day ago (7 children)

It's about the info IN the bag, not the money. Crewde tials, phone, maybe ID. This was a targeted hit 100% because the world's intelligence agencies now know how fucking stupid these people are.

Like, dumb enough to not notice a tail, then get your bag stolen from a restaurant with all kinds of goodies in it dumb.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 2 points 13 hours ago

Not all the tials were crewde.

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