this post was submitted on 02 May 2025
198 points (91.2% liked)

Ask Lemmy

31432 readers
1417 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Like what with all the fascism going on, Trump teasing a third term, and even now passing a law to be able to deport U.S. Citizens. I can't imagine people taking these threats lightly. So basically, how are you holding up?

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 69 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

I'm trans, lesbian, and Hispanic. Next week I'm permanently leaving the US with my partner.

This week has had a lot of crying. I cried at my work goodbye party on Tuesday. Yesterday I hosted a going away show for my community at an amazing bar (I'm a performer). Have you ever seen 50 people crying simultaneously at a bar? Today I cried when I said my last goodbyes to my coworkers, since they are actually great people.

So overall very heavy with mixed feelings. I'm thrilled that I have a ticket out of this mess, I'm terrified for my friends and family who are staying behind, I'm beyond furious that this is all happening, I'm mourning the life I'm leaving behind, and I'm exhausted from everything

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago

This was a heavy read. I really felt that in my heart.

I'm a cis straight man, and I welcome you to Europe if that is where you are going. Please enjoy your stay. Hopefully it won't have to be permanent and you can reunite with your family and friends one day. ❤️

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 16 points 2 days ago

I'm wishing you safe travel, good luck, and all the love in the world

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Best wishes to you wherever you are headed. I imagine soon the sane countries will offer queer people asylum.

[–] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I can't hear you I'm too high

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

What?? Sorry I can't hear you, I'm too high

I don't know what toilet I'm allowed to use now, or which one won't get me murdered... so there's that.

[–] Diva@lemmy.ml 36 points 2 days ago

I'm holding up well in spite of everything. I lost one of my friends this week. She had moved into what I thought was going to be a safe situation several states away and something clearly went wrong. She was a really smart and inspiring person.

I also just took another friend to the airport so she could permanently relocate to Europe, and two of my other friends are leaving soon too.

It's been a rough week but I'm not planning on leaving, mostly working on organizing the trans people who stay.

[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 75 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Not so great to be honest. I’ve spent almost 30 years fighting to change all of this, and everything we have gained could all just be gone in the snap of the finger. And much worse.

[–] Septimaeus@infosec.pub 3 points 2 days ago

I’ve been involved for less than half as much time and haven’t been through what the older ones have, but one of them told me something I’ve been thinking about lately.

They said the political and legislative fights are important but the true battles are for hearts and minds. They take longer to win but those victories are final because once people see a world in which we belong they can’t unsee it.

So it’s a fact that hard-won rights now can be taken with the snap of a finger, or simply ignored, but it won’t stand for long because most people won’t accept anything less as just. That is, it’s too late to undo what you fought for. The battles you won are won.

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 68 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Haven't killed myself yet so that's something

[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 32 points 3 days ago

It really is, though. It’s not easy to do that every day, but cheers to you for every day you make it through to sleepy times.

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Really fucking stressed and hoping I can escape the country before I get killed.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] DoubleDongle@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago

I've got two trans friends who are a lot younger than me and they've both called me dad at this point, which I've been thriving on. I'm teaching one to drive, and I'm helping the other fix her house up. Feels good man.

This has given me the somewhat unique experience of knowing how it feels when your kids are in danger without technically having any kids. I do NOT like this. I've cried, screamed, panicked, and lost sleep. I'm getting a lot of relief from protesting and fighting back, but it hurts a lot.

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 50 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

My MRI results came back yesterday, indicating that my left lateral ventricle has stopped expanding and won’t rupture in the future, and my first thought was “oh, I get to endure this future now, but at least I have my wife.”

That’s right, I get the best possible news from my doctor and my first thought was mixed emotions because of the state of this fucking country.

I was denied my Gommage.

Edit: 40 year old trans woman, multiple stroke survivor

[–] ashenone@lemmy.ml 50 points 3 days ago (1 children)

To all my LGBT friends out here, stay strapped. Armed minorities are harder to oppress

[–] KelvarIW@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Absolutely Horrible. I was already struggling due to ADHD, but since November I've felt completely awful. Some days I feel "I'm in the end of times" and force myself to indulge in games and food, but it never makes me feel better. Other days I run myself into the ground trying to plan some way to fight back. My next "to-do" is getting a pistol, but that's hard in my state.

The only upside is I have felt less socially anxious about reaching out to new people. Having a real existential crisis does cause those fears of "what if they think I'm annoying" to subside.

Boy do I feel this. Dissociate, panic, dissociate, panic...

[–] DoubleDongle@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Getting out to protests helps a LOT with the doom. And if you print out some flyers for the General Strike to hand out, you can help halt this shit in a clear and tangible way. Keep your internal narrative about your next move, not theirs.

[–] funkajunk@lemm.ee 41 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, an important reminder that nothing on the fediverse is truly private. Use rotating alternate accounts, opsec, and VPN/proxies if you believe yourself to be in potential danger for your opinions.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] scroll_responsibly@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] potoo22@programming.dev 14 points 3 days ago

It's not gay if it's TSA

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

They already know that LGBTQ people hate the current state of affairs. They don’t need to spy on us to figure that out.

But we could be a lot louder about it

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] other_cat@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm sorry but that is the most high def version of that screenshot I have EVER seen.

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago

Right!? i don't even remember where i downloaded it from, its just what i had in my generic meme stockpile

[–] scops@reddthat.com 30 points 3 days ago

I'm poly, my girlfriend is married to a woman. They have been looking hard at contingency plans. One of them is eligible for dual-citizenship due to ancestry and is looking into that process, and they have confirmed with friends in another country that they could rent a room with them if necessary.

A couple weeks ago, she asked me if I would marry her in the event they felt the need to divorce and "go undercover" looking more heteronormative.

They are scared. They feel like they are not that far removed from the "kind of person" who might be next up for disappearances by our current government.

[–] sixtoe@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 days ago
[–] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Im desperately trying to leave, I dont know where to go tbh. Germany seems like the best option but the AFD scares me, Britain is also an option but Reform is also scary. The world is a very dark place rn for people like me.

[–] Astigma@feddit.uk 22 points 3 days ago

As a Brit don’t come here. I used to think people were exaggerating when they called it TERF island but the recent court rulings have made it obvious the country really doesn’t want trans people to exist or be happy.

I’ve been struggling with my gender identity for a while, some may call me an egg, but now I know I’ll just have to put it out of my mind and carry on as I am for my own safety.

[–] dumblederp@aussie.zone 4 points 2 days ago

Sydney or Melbourne, Australia are pretty accepting. Not without problems but I reckon they'd be good choices if you can meet the visa requirements and get a job.

[–] photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Just this morning, the AFD was categorized as a right-wing extremist organization by our Office for Constitutional Protection, which is step one in outlawing the party outright. What scares me is the lack of political will in the new ruling coalition to take that next step. IMO the current frontrunner, CDU, will lose the next election, leaving the door open to the AFD if they aren't stopped.

The AFD needs to be banned completely, imo the only hope left for Germany lies with Die Linke.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Hazelnutcookiez@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

i hear Canada is pretty trans friendly from some friends that live in Montréal they also said Vancouver is pretty chill too.

[–] kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I dont have much hope, Canadian democracy only bearly survived. What happens if Carney is another inefficient Liberal and the CPC wins? Or even worse if Carney is too efficient and Trump invades? Granted one, both, or neither could happen but thats my point, we live in extremely uncertain times.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Hazelnutcookiez@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Nonbianary AMAB sometimes i feel like i need to be careful if i choose to go out in skirts and makeup at times especially since im in Texas.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] LucasWaffyWaf@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago

God damn terrified and suicidal, thankful I've got good friends to ground me.

[–] Sasha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Not in the US but my perspective on this whole thing is very mixed. Obviously I'm terrified of the rise of fascism and the exterminatory rhetoric that's now so common when trans people are mentioned in politics. I'm terrified for a number of my friends, and I can't help them, I can't keep them safe and I can't get them out.

For now I'm focusing my efforts locally, we've largely been able to keep that sort of thing out of Australia and have had some incredible support outside of the queer community at rallies and a recent counter protest against some terfs. I think we'll be okay, we might even make some progress down here, very exciting and it's keeping me going despite everything else.

I'm not holding up well, but I am still standing. I really hope things turn around in the US and UK soon, my heart goes out to you all. I'd say stay strong, but honestly that's not on you, just stay alive, it's okay to not fight.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] turtlesareneat@discuss.online 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's pretty bleak yes, our own families sold us out for this shit in their malicious ignorance, I just heard a VA employee tell me an email went out advising all hospital staff to remove rainbow lanyards or stickers or anything "safe space" identifying in their offices, because some patient had complained. This came out while we're helping my gay veteran friend get ready to die of cancer. Cause he shouldn't feel safe in the hospital or anything.

[–] gratux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The patient that complained should go to a different hospital then. The lack of spine from the hospital administration is embarrassing, frankly apaling.

But given that hospitals in the US are just profit-oriented companies instead of actual healthcare, not too surprising.

[–] turtlesareneat@discuss.online 4 points 2 days ago

VA = federally owned and operated. This was done by design.

[–] SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 3 days ago

Not well! My son has an event in Kentucky next weekend. The last time we went, there was trump merch and shit at literally every stand. I’m legit nervous to go this time. The rhetoric has gotten so out of hand, I’m afraid.

[–] Waldelfe@feddit.org 14 points 3 days ago

I'm a bi woman and have always preferred women. But I ended up falling in love with a wonderful man who is now my husband. I'm currently really grateful for that. Loving a woman in this climate would be so stressful. I'm very scared for my trans best friend though.

[–] zib@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago

I spend every day wondering if it'll be my last. The paranoia is always there in the back of my mind, knowing the new Gestapo will eventually come for me, I just don't know when. In the mean time, I'm preparing myself for that possibility both mentally and physically. My mental health hasn't been this bad in a long time, but there's not much I can really do other than try to keep my head above water and hope I make it through this.

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

The current administration is treading on thin ice.

It's not possible to stop the spread of information and resistance in our interconnected world if people want to connect.

And this administration is driving people together.

Hopefully this shit will be over soon, if they keep pushing fascism down our throats they'll be executed by a mob.

Edit: Even if this gets better I'll still probably move to Canada. The US is over unless we fully go radical left.

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 3 points 2 days ago

cis gay dude here.

Poorly.

[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago

It's stressful. There's a looming sense of dread I think a lot of people are feeling these days, knowing something else awful is coming over the horizon. Hell, my doctor today was jokingly recommending copious drinking to cope.

I guess I just feel pretty powerless and hopeless a lot of the time. It's all so fucking stupid.

[–] Wereduck@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 3 days ago

I started working to get hormones about 2 days after the US election, and have been on hrt (E, Spiro) for a couple months. It's a little disorienting, the juxtaposition of the dread and fear against the intense joy and euphoria I have been feeling. I feel like I am doing better than I ever have in my life, it feels like before I lived in this emotional grey, an autopilot, and now my life is begining at 30. At the same time I feel that fascism is rapidly intensifying. I fear for my loved ones who are immigrants, for the uncountable people being disappeared, and despite living in a "safe" state know I am not very far behind in terms of risk over the next few years. I have on some level preparing myself to run, but I also hate the idea of it on so many levels. I in some ways feel like coward to consider running when many close to me cannot or will not.

It's a confusing time. But also it feels like I have been given a life again, I am like Frankenstein awakening to the world from the cold grip of death, and that joy is so intense and I am so thankful for it.

I will die before I detransition, and I don't intend to die easily.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 9 points 3 days ago

Here's a hug to anyone who needs one:

🫂

load more comments
view more: next ›