this post was submitted on 03 May 2025
752 points (99.1% liked)

Not The Onion

16084 readers
2212 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

A Texas bill, known as the FURRIES Act, would ban non-human behaviors in public schools, including the use of litter boxes and wearing animal accessories.

Rep. Stan Gerdes, the bill's author, claimed schools were providing litter boxes for students acting as "furries."

When pressed, Gerdes could not find an example. The bill was left pending in committee.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] KiwiFlavor@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

Beyond the blatant stupidity of the bill, the most concerning part is the definition of "non-human behavior." I would not be surprised if some schools interpreted queer people, those with disabilites, and those from minority ethnic, religious, or racial groups to be exhibitong "non-human behaviors." These groups have already been dehumanized historically.

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 5 points 2 hours ago

That child is dressed like a plant! Arrest him!

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 6 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Absolutely. Any vague language has a way of being misinterpreted by the most fanatical and used for evil.

[–] EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 6 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Unless animal control can run up to 60mph, that cheetah kid is getting away.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago

Cheetah kids can only maintain 60mph over a short distance. If animal control can follow at a steady pace, they'll catch up eventually.

[–] match@pawb.social 7 points 6 hours ago

what, have they have been finding examples of trans kids in school sports?

[–] pleasegoaway@lemm.ee 43 points 9 hours ago (2 children)
[–] Eddy@lemm.ee 11 points 7 hours ago

You can't even meow, so no learning about the noises animals make

[–] sowitzer@lemm.ee 2 points 5 hours ago

Almost every school mascot today is some sort of non offensive animal. Puma, panther, golden eagles, a few others. Probably setting up the magas who want to go back to some real non woke “American hero” names. Gen Lee Slavemasters, red injun killers, white supremists, things like that. lol.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 44 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

The litter box in schools thing happened in all of my dad's WhatsApp friends schools, but there's no pictures of it 🤔

[–] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 30 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (2 children)

It started because of school shootings, ironically enough. If you’re in a lockdown for hours while the cops take their sweet time, (coughUvaldecough), there’s a near 100% chance that at least one of the children in your class is going to need to use the restroom during that time.

Luckily, camp toilets are a thing:

They’re basically a 5 gallon bucket with a snap-on toilet seat lid. You use a trash bag to line it, then sprinkle an alginate powder in, (the same powder used in diapers) and it turns into a gel when it gets wet. This helps avoid the smell and splashing, and a single small sachet of alginate powder is enough for the entire bucket.

As an added bonus, you can use the bucket to store other things that might be needed in a shooting or extended lockdown. Tourniquets, gauze, protein bars, etc… It’s all there in a single grab-and-go location. Lockdown starts, you pull the bucket out of the closet, dump all the supplies out, and set it in the corner for kids to use if they need to pee.

But this very quickly got flipped around, because conservatives didn’t want the left to start using “schools need toilets in the classrooms because school shootings are so frequent” campaigns. So they flipped it around, and said schools were providing litter boxes to furries. There’s also a heavy anti-trans lean on the litter boxes messaging, which just plays into the conservative fear mongering even more.

[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 hours ago (3 children)
[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 2 points 2 hours ago

Best we can do is take away hypothetical litter boxes in school.

[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 1 points 2 hours ago

but then how will they overthrow a tyrannical government?!?!

… wait

Well yeah, I doubt you’ll find many disagreements here. The biggest disagreements are probably going to be the “if you go far enough left, you get your guns back” crowd. AKA the “Under no pretext should arms and ammunition be surrendered; any attempt to disarm the workers must be frustrated, by force if necessary” version. Conservatives aren’t exactly popular around these parts.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

I read a very different thing. Classes were putting medical supplies in them and other emergency gear, but again, for mass shootings.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 9 points 10 hours ago

I had an idiot teenager working for me who insisted it was happening at his school, but couldn't tell me which classroom or teacher was allowing it.

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 42 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

We truly live in the dumbest timeline. Seems like ~50% of the population has no "bullshit filter".

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 18 points 9 hours ago

They have an “actively seek out bullshit that props up my radical beliefs and hatreds” filter.

[–] helloyanis@jlai.lu 26 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

If anyone wants the wikipedia article about this litter box in schools thing, here you go+

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 1 points 2 hours ago

It's wiki entries like this that clearly label it as a hoax which is why Republicans think Wikipedia is woke.

[–] JPSound@lemmy.world 29 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

At no point I do I think bullying should be allowed in schools but the reality is that if a kid was demanding a litter box in which to relieve themselves, they would get ostracized, bullied into oblivion, and that behavior would stop right away. No legislation required. Humans have a way of self correcting themselves in group environments. It's an evolutionary trait from our days as tribes.

Again, bullying is a huge problem that needs to be taken far more seriously in our school systems... Buuuut, humans will act like humans, especially human children, when it comes down to things way outside the norm. Its just the way we are at this stage in evolution.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 32 points 14 hours ago

bullying is a huge problem that needs to be taken far more seriously in our school systems

I fear the reason bullying isn't taken seriously in schools is because those in positions of power frequently use bully tactics to get there. Fascists and bullies are one and the same, and on some level, corrupt school administrators know that. School bullies provide useful extensions of fascist behavior, applied by peers to encourage conformity in environments where adults are absent. Why would fascists in charge ever want to stop that?

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 37 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

Of course not. Like most of their "anti-woke" ideas, they are based on lofty ideas.

They do this to misdirect you from the real problems, those that they usually caused all by themselves.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Elkot@lemmy.world 23 points 16 hours ago

Furries are notoriously stealthy, it's not like they walk around in bright furry colours or anything

[–] Sumocat@lemmy.world 180 points 1 day ago (12 children)

To be clear, cat litter buckets in classrooms is a real thing in some schools but only to use in active shooter lockdowns if needed. When a classroom of kids is trapped for hours, someone will need to poop, and they’re going to want to cover up it and not smell it the whole time. So unfortunately there’s a perfectly valid reason for kids to poop in litter buckets at schools that these conspiracists, who are probably the same nutjobs who think school shootings are fake, are twisting into furry accommodation.

[–] Bunbury@feddit.nl 8 points 10 hours ago

Here I was laughing at a silly man trying to forbid something that never happens. Now I’m sad again. How on earth is this the lived reality of so many children? Can’t do much from over here in Europe but what the heck.

[–] preussischblau@lemmy.ca 164 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Hey, America, what the fuck?

[–] kescusay@lemmy.world 28 points 16 hours ago

We're pretty stupid over here right now. Sorry, world.

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 6 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

Slight misinfo here.

I was not able to find anyone selling or providing kitty litter buckets for active shooter response kits. I think kitty litter would not be an idea lchoice because it relies on absorbing moisture, swelling, and covering the feces via the cat's natural scraping behavior.

However, their are a number of classroom lockdown kits that do include a 5 gallon bucket to shit in, and a deodorizer tablet/solution.

[–] Sumocat@lemmy.world 8 points 8 hours ago

It was a DIY solution, not a kit, but great to know the idea was monetized.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 6 points 13 hours ago

Yup.

And they'll do this dumbass shit before addressing gun violence or police who hang out scrolling on their phones during school shootings instead of stopping them, every single time.

[–] termaxima@programming.dev 17 points 19 hours ago

The extreme irony of course, is that the same kind of person who thinks school shootings don’t exist, is the kind of person who shoots up a school.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 128 points 1 day ago (10 children)

I can provide examples of these sickos wearing animal accessories at Texas schools.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 20 hours ago (1 children)
[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 13 points 19 hours ago

For some reason, I thought that was 4 choices.

And you were passing on the lizard head, and the man wearing a lizard costume.

But that bee...

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] MantisToboggon@lazysoci.al 109 points 1 day ago (2 children)

This guy absolutely beats his dick to furry porn.

Or the dude is a zoophiliac

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] malloc@lemmy.world 72 points 1 day ago (3 children)

In a few years, this guy will probably get picked up for human trafficking, CSAM, soliciting sex from minors or some other degenerate activity.

Anybody remember that shit stain from FL, Matt Gaetz?

In 2020, Gaetz was accused of child sex trafficking[a] and statutory rape. After an investigation, the United States Department of Justice (DOJ) decided not to charge him. In December 2024, the House Ethics Committee released a report which found evidence that Gaetz paid for sex—including with a 17-year-old—and abused illegal drugs during his tenure in the U.S. House of Representatives. The committee report did not find sufficient evidence that he had not engaged in sex trafficking as defined in federal law.[2]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matt_Gaetz

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 89 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Need a new Texas bill banning Rep. Stan Gerdes from being 10 miles near any school because dude is a fucking creep.

Seconded. Does this mean we can put it up for a vote now?

load more comments
view more: next ›