Ask Lemmy

it's because they are old, and nothing ever got better. everything only got worse. literally everything

this will happen to you too

Probably confirmation bias. Content, happy people are generally not screaming out at the world about their happiness.

I've been noticing already. The older I am the angrier I get.

Mostly because as years pass I notice how most people is just bad people. Losing faith in humanity makes me angry at humanity.

From what I've seen, especially since COVID, is that society has changed beyond their understanding and now a lot of things are strange and scary. Worse, a lot of the skills they should have learned to understand the present day weren't learned for various reasons, so getting over the hump of understanding is now a lot higher than previous.

Anger is a common reaction to fear and confusion.

The old people at my UU church seem pretty chill

It's just the whiskey talking.

Young people aren't angry? They look quite upset to (old) me, and rightfully so. I probably would be a lot more than they are, to be honest.

One remark, maybe:

The few old people around you does not represent a valid statistical sample for 'old people' in general. You need a lot more data.

No offense intended, maybe it's like that because you're living in a family that is keen on hating and insulting one another? The only thing I would feel ok to conclude from that is they may very well be dickheads, every single one of them, but that doesn't mean all people their age are the same. Don't generalize ;)

To help you realize how... too fast such conclusions can be made, and no doubt how wrong they can be, consider this simple observation one may want to make reading your question:

The only constant in your interactions with older people is yourself. How come you may ask? Well, they're all different (old) people that don't share the exact same age, sex and personality (taste and preferences), maybe they don't even live all at the same place. Meanwhile, you're the exact same person. You do not change and you're not different, they are. So, if every single one of those different and older persons you meet is hating on you shouldn't I conclude that you're the most likely cause of their hate?

See how easy it is to come to some nutty conclusion out of mere 'observations'?

To be perfectly clear, I 'm not saying it's you that's causing anything. Far from it. First, for the simple reason that I never met you and then because you probably are not the cause of anything here. Like I said, there is not enough data to conclude anything. Still it's so easy to conclude that it's your fault and from there that if it's your fault it's all younger people's fault—it's not ;)

To share my own personal experience, as a child (I was young, once) I knew very early on my mother hated my guts. I started by wondering why adults where such assholes towards kids up until I realized that was not 'all adults' nor 'all mothers', it was her. That unique person she was for reasons that were her own that certainly would not allow me or anyone else to generalize her behavior to all mothers.

All of that to say there could be a lot of reasons and factors unrelated to their age.

every grandparent or elderly relative always have insulting remarks about me

I have been young myself (promise I really was, and one day you will be old too) and my grand-parents never insulted me. Not once. And as an older person myself nowadays I tend to not insult... not too often ;)

Being really old probably sucks. I’d be mad too.

I mean... Have you looked around the world lately? What isn't rage inducing? Now couple that with your body falling apart and feeling the pain of aging more and more the closer you get to your final days.

I met some of the nicest old people at the protest yesterday. Maybe you just have a bad sample set in your area

Not wanting to rain on you, but if everyone has an issue with you I'd honestly do an introspection.

Your senior aged family members just seem to suck but we only got a single sentence of detail.

Old people are not universally mean lol. Honestly it seems to me that almost every asshole I knew since a young age was an asshole in their childhood, teens, and adulthood so far. I figure that won't change. There's some exceptions, but it seems very hard to change personality.

Older folks can seem more angry than other demographics for a few reasons: pain from physical deterioration, disappointment in their life's circumstances with fewer/no realistic opportunities to better them, people very close to them dying, worldviews that conflict with the realities of modern life, etc. It depends on the individual but pain and the whole "less unshitty time left on this earth" thing are more commonly experienced in seniors than other demographics.

But this is talking in general - to give you a useful answer, I'd want to know more about your interactions with elderly folks. Only one I saw in this thread was old folks telling you to kill yourself - it's rare someone cold leads with that unless it's online (the answer is always living, happily, in spite). What happens before that?

It is very hard to be nice when you are in physical pain.

I don't think I've ever seen my grandparents angry in my life.

EDIT: Honestly, my in-person experience with people who are like...70+ is that they've been pretty mellow. Maybe they go off and rage in private or something, but hasn't been where I see it.

Some of this is because they’re living with pain. Your body breaks down as you get older. Some of it is Fox News brainwashing.

If every interaction you've had is bad, look for the common denominator

How many old people have you known?

For all we know you could be a victim in an abusive family. I'm sorry to see that people are blaming you without further asking about your circumstances.

FWIW I think it's a bad older-generation thing, to express your affection by criticizing someone and insulting them. I had one older relative tell me that if you wanted someone to know that you loved them, you had to be a little mean to them. There was even a saying "spare the rod and spoil the child" to justify physical punishment.

To be sure, sometimes you need to be direct and critical and rigid, but it should not develop into abuse. If you feel you are in an abusive relationship, please reach out for help.

What's old? I'm 53 and hate pretty much everything I see. I have a Grumpy Bear on my dashboard so we can bitch about other drivers. I'm in near constant pain from a back problem and can't do very many fun things anymore. And every single day I make every interaction with everyone I come across as pleasnt and fun as I possibly can. I make eye contact and say please and thank you. I tease and joke with everyone I see. Just because I'm a curmudgeonly old fuck doesn't mean I have to bum other people out. But maybe I'm not old yet.

"Everybody hates you when you're 23" said some wise punk rocker.

There are a lot of idiots in the world, and some of them are old.

Old people may seem angry because they've seen a lot of crap and it just keeps coming in new, unexpected forms.

I have observed that sometimes old people don't understand their opinion is unwanted.

I'm approaching old. I need to remind myself that I don't understand the struggles the youth have these days. I had it hard, sure, but their struggles and worries are not the same as mine. It's a different world.

So unsolicited advice + thinking the kids are doing it wrong is an easy path to mean/angry.

Sorry about the people jumping you with 0 context. Not everyone here is like that.

All people can be shitty. Sounds like you had the misfortune of running into a bunch of old people who fit the bill.

A lot of old people have beliefs from a very... different time. Y'all know what I mean. They bear a lot of blame for the way things are in general. I'm seeing a lot of people jump to conclusions about you for some reason. If it's mostly old people, then you're probably right. I honestly don't fw most old people I know. A lot of them are grump old fucks, some with better reasons than others.

What are the insults? All the old people around me are very nice.